“Now would be the right time to call for help,” Theo nuzzed at his jaw, and Liam bared his teeth, mocking.

“Why? Can’t do me on your own?”

“Oh, I can do you just fine,” Theo’s kiss was bite, “but if we don’t stop now, I’ll fuck you right on this desk, in this nice little classroom, and that’s all you’ll be able to think about when sitting here on Monday, Tuesday, and all the days to come.”

I’ll cry if I think about them for too long but you’re Charles Rowland you’re a biracial punk and you’ve been getting the shit kicked out of you by your father your entire life but you see a Pakistani kid getting beat for being Pakistani and you can’t help it, you’re afraid but you stop it. You’re half Indian why are you any different? The racist little white boys agree. They beat you too. You make it away. You’re cold, so cold and something’s very wrong with you, and then you see a light. But you’re not dead. It’s another boy your age and he tells you he’s dead. He died in this same shitty boarding school and he reads you a bedtime story as you fall asleep. You’re dead now and he’s still here. He knew you were dying and he didn’t want you to be scared. He crawled out of Hell and the first thing he did was comfort you as you lay dying.

Why wouldn’t you run from death with him? Why wouldn’t you spend your eternity with him? Why wouldn’t you love him?

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

Niko gave him assigned reading

Why you should watch the Dead Boy Detectives

Fun fact there’s an even bigger circle encompassing all of these and it’s Dirk Gently

You are a shapeshifter who has secretly taken on many fake villain personas across the world. Your goal is to fight each hero you meet with a persona that embodies said hero’s worst traits, forcing them to change for the better in order to defeat you.

Dead Boy Detectives was surprising.

It surprised me when, instead of Crystal dropping in and fracturing Charles and Edwin's thirty years of friendship, they went with Crystal sinking into the fold of Charles and Edwin's friendship and becoming an important and unique addition to the group.

It surprised me when, instead of Gay Boy Pining Over Straight Best Friend, they went with Gay Boy Realises Feelings For Straight Best Friend And Confesses Almost Immediately with a bonus of Straight Boy Accepts Confession With Surprising Grace And Nothing Changes, Not Really.

It surprised me when, instead of making the female characters repetitive and semi-rational and ultimately less powerful, they went with characters who are smart and selfish and kind and cruel and strong and flawed and oh, they happen to be female too.

It surprised me when Charles liking Crystal did not affect one bit of how much he loved Edwin.

It surprised me when Jenny talked about spinsters with cats and Niko did not bat an eye.

It surprised me with Edwin and Niko. It surprised me with, we have forever to figure the rest out. It surprised me with Crystal's kindness, Jenny's empathy, the casual and absolute, the good you do will come back around.

Dead Boy Detectives was surprising. One day, I hope I can sit back and watch another show and none of this has to be surprising anymore.

1, 2, 3, 5

Thiam fic rec <3

I’ll probably keep coming back and adding new ones in the notes, but here’s the list I have made so far :)

(in no particular order)

1. Handle with care 190.1k words, completed

Summary: Theo’s back from hell and there’s a lot of shit to sort out. Liam helps with that, sometimes.

2. Stray Dogs  2 fic series, completed?

Summary: *basically Theo is like I would break so many laws for u if u just ask*

3. The things you notice 2 fic series, completed

Summary: It’s literally just Theo and Liam loving each other in their pov’s. so special to me, actually.

4. You are stuck with me (so I guess I’ll be sticking with you) 30k, completed

Summary: a look into how theo and liam’s relationship built up in the background of teen wolf 6b

5. when I watch the world burn, all I think about is you 6k, completed

Summary: Theo wakes up on the McCall couch and Liam is inside of his shirt. Asleep. On Theo.

6. liturgy for an atheist 2k, completed

Summary: “I don’t want to hurt people,” Liam says, eyes flashing bright and blood dripping from his clenched fists, every line of him pulled taut like it’s all he can manage to stand there destroying only himself. His rage smells like gunpowder and gasoline, ready to spark and burn the entire school down around them if someone doesn’t put it out.

So Theo says, “Okay, then hurt me instead.”

7. a catalogue of spectacular alive things 4k, completed

Summary: In which Theo makes breakfast, goes to a baby shower, shows up late for dinner, falls into bed with someone he loves, and drowns in contentment.

8. coordinates (we are two points in space)  4k, completed

Summary: Liam can’t control all the leaving but he can control his not-knowing where. 

9. smoke rises, and with it the truth of ourselves 4k, completed

Summary: In which Liam invites Theo out into the middle of the woods, gives him a stale s'more, rambles about death, and teaches him to scream.

10.  old ghosts gather in liminal spaces 6k, completed

Summary: Liam asks, “What are you doing here, anyway?” 

“Same thing you are,” Theo says. Avoiding, searching, not-thinking, maybe. 

His answer seems to appease Liam. Or maybe he’d just rather not elaborate on the circumstances that made him seek shelter in a bus stop with a boy that he only spends time with when danger is making a home for itself in the corners of their lives. 

(Theo thinks everyone might be a little out of place, trapped.)

11. and I’ll find my way back to you, party of two 2k, completed

Summary: On Theo Raeken’s nineteenth birthday, he is gifted three bullet wounds, two flat tires, and a grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich made by the boy he might love. None of it is as bad as it sounds, really.

12. coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine 5k, completed

Summary: The funniest thing is – most everyone seems to be under the impression that Theo’s driving Liam.

Like most things in Liam’s life, it doesn’t quite work out that way.

13. lovers alone wear sunlight 8k, completed

Summary: Liam comes home, in more ways than one.

14. when oblivion is calling out your name, you always take it further than I ever can 8k, completed

Summary: In which Liam is terribly high and completely smitten, Theo is allergic to emotions and totally whipped, Mason has the patience of a saint, and everybody wins, except for Stiles.

15. tell me no more secrets, I’ll tell you no more lies 1.4k, completed

Summary: "Look at me,“ he says, and Liam almost can’t. ”Liam.“

Liam looks. "You were attacked. It was self defense.”

“Okay,” Liam says, and feels the blood trickle from the corner of his mouth, the iron coating his throat catching in his lungs. “What if it wasn’t.”

Home is the first grave.

yes, i made another moodboard for this fic (out of the thousands that i've been making since the end of 2022? idk). anyway, first chapter it's finally here!

i'm giving a shout out to @hemlocksandfoxgloves bc she made me amazing stuff. thank u for all the help and support!

for @ruthless-rainbow @greymantledlady @theoceanismyinkwell for listening to me since day one and @wolfboy88 @transdunbar for inspiring me with something that im terrible at: smut. enjoy the rarepairs! and @equallyloyalandlethal for always being so sweet and extremely supportive. ur comments make all the difference to me, fr

@ksbbb u were excited for the fic, so there u go :) hope u enjoy it!

in this essay, i will-

Japanese Rose

It started with a single yellow petal—small, delicate, virtually unnoticeable. One petal became two, then three, then four. Meguru brushed it off at first. He had heard the warnings about how it was dangerous to ignore the flowers that bloomed, but he didn’t think it was necessary to worry. He knew the source of the flowers. He had identified the genus, Kerria japonica, after looking up the petals online. They said it was bad to wait, but he had never met anyone that had suffered from the disease before. Could one count it as suffering when it was a confirmation of his love? It was beautiful, much like the yellow petals. They sort of looked like Sakura but instead of growing on trees, they grew in bushes. That made sense. All his life he had been on the ground with the dirt and the weeds, never one to be held in high praise and tower over others like a mighty tree.

Kerria japonica grew on mountain slopes and often scrambled over other vegetation and rocks. That made sense too. Meguru thought his love might seem suffocating. His feelings were grand, too big for the recipient to handle. It would weigh them down, snuff out the light in their eyes, so he kept his lips sealed. He zipped his mouth shut like a body bag headed for the morgue. His love may be grand and suffocating but he loved that he loved. Meguru kept every single flower he coughed up. When the old ones dried, he pressed them into bookmarks. He covered the pages of his journal. He filled shadow boxes with every loose petal. The ones that had droplets of blood were his favorite. They showed the depth of his love. The slowly growing vines that twisted in his lungs were monstrous. He had a monster in him, and he welcomed it with open arms.

I've enjoyed it so much!!! Thank you💖

it's a lot of stuff...

no mourners, no funerals. [source]

some thoughts about ADHD and baseline guilt