Life's A Film Noir

this video sends me every time. the lip syncing. the source material. iconic

I reblogged this one time and someone else who reblogged it from me tagged it with #violence

Oh btw I'm reading another star trek novel and chapter 1 just opens like this

i bet being a fish whips ass. smooth and wet as fuck. well except for the bears

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE AS A DRAFT.

it is frankly insane how impossible it is to untangle tf2 with 2010s internet culture. like it's on the scale if not higher than mlp with how much it affected the internet at large

she cries if I dont hold her, so I have to use my exercise bike like this

Hm I see. I kind of need to hold these or I’ll die.

I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and it’s like.

have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because that’s what a growl is.

Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because that’s what a hiss is.

Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because that’s what a roar is.

Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because that’s what snarling is.

It’s not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.

me: *sobbing in the woods*

The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.

me: *turns around* oh shit fr?

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

catch me lying awake for hours in darkness every night since i was 9

#I’m unirionically Marge in this situation #HOW CAN YOU BE BORED WHEN THERES LOOMS

why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

like i’m picturing him being really careful and looking at it and carrying it exactly like this while walking or riding through the woods and across rivers and up mountains and through valleys and he doesn’t drop it even once except at the very end where he tidily drops it into the volcano. frodo sam and the crew and even gollum wholly undisturbed. sauron can’t find him bc of the meditative aura surrounding him which is generated by his immense focus on not dropping it

World's most tense egg and spoon race

this somehow became the funniest thing on earth in my head and I had to draw it so

The Curse

Aka Hylia's favourite transmasc gets amnesia and forgets what periods are

Rule

This post is so funny to me. I watched it back on tiktok, and every single person in the comments section was just ripping into this guy. They were being so mean to Coleman over this, it was unreal. But every single other place it gets posted to people love this guy. Coleman, I hope you're seeing these reposts, we accept you as part of the LGBTC+ community.