God Prefers Steak

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Perfect example of an untranslatable joke. 😂

why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen

@kittybroker

Pathetic and evil all at once! This sopping wet and menacing pair of kitties here to cause trouble! Get this devious and dichotomous duo for only $4.56!

I love how the price is, itself, kind of evil (change-producing). Perfect thread, 10/10, no (additional) notes.

this guy gets it

American here (go Devil Eggs!) I feel like the referenced, presumably American commenters are maybe coming at this from the wrong angle. We shouldn't be focusing on the guy who quit. Instead, we should be asking: "What is happening at this company that makes an employee with 6 years' worth of experience and institutional knowledge just up and quit like that, and in such a way that earns the admiration of a co-worker?" Are they both just jerks? Maybe. Or could it possibly be that the company and its management treated/treats its employees with such contempt that not only would a person walk away like this (and potentially risk a bad referral from a future company, if they said they'd do one thing and then did another), but that other fellow employees would be in awe of this and celebrate it? What does it say about the management that a person would set them up with specific expectations, and then absolutely and utterly torch those expectations? That the person is a jerk? Maybe. But could it also be that that's how the management has treated them? (I think it's more likely) We Americans like to pride ourselves on our independence. Perhaps we should think again about how independent we are, if we feel like we owe an explanation to a company for walking out on them, or any more time than they deserve. There is no legal requirement to give, or honor, any notice at all (in the USA) if you are an at-will employee or work at an at-will company. Don't forget that the "right to work" movement (which is really a disguised way of allowing companies to fire you for any damned reason whatsoever) also includes the right to quit.

The mirror of erised

Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

his cadence, his tiny bitchy hand gestures, his cunty little nicknames for people that are insane but also somehow stick to your brain? 

“the problem with ron desanctimonious is that he needs a personality transplant, and those are...... noT yet available.”

if he’d laid the garbage fire of his entire soul aside for a wig and heels back in the 80s, we’d live in a better world. 

(via @dragonprincessmew )

Collection

omg

This has been in my queue for months.

I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

TBH I think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an Italian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???

a bunch of pissed off vampires stuck in Venice because they can’t go over moving water

Not to victim blame, but you’d have to be a pretty bad Italian to even get turned into a vampire in the first place.

the only two places practically immune to vampires are texas and italy

Let me tell you of A Thing.

Lithuania has no vampires, I guarantee it.

Lithuania has one vampire, and let me tell you, she’s gonna be FURY UNLEASHED once someone gets her out of the centre of that crossterfuck of a burial point.

#never seen texas and italy in the same sentence before

(via @tchallabread)

Reblogging purely for Crossterfuck. 

I think having a baby niece is great cause my brother will send me just a constant stream of messages that sound indistinguishable from how someone at Jurassic park would text if they were being hunted by the raptor

Miss Congeniality (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

THE OUTER WORLDS Scenery ▸ 5/?

unmute

You only need to know one thing: meow.

[Video transcript:

(Meow in the background. The meows continue through the video.)

So, (meow) today I am making... (meow) (snicker) pine- (meow) pinecone dice. (meow) (meow) My cat- (meow) He- (meow) He wants to narrate, too (meow). SHUT UP, THUNDER. (a beat.) He's not allowed in the bedroom (meow) 'cause he beats my other cat up (meow) and she's in here right now (meow) so he's throwing a fit.

Anyways, we're making pineco- (wheeze) i lost my train of thought.

So, I use- (meow) (exasperated) pi- i can't fucking these blank inserts (meow) to put the pinecones in (a series of meows interrupt) and then I put the pl- I had this all planned out and I was gonna explain exactly what I was doing and then the (meow)... the CAT... (meow) (a beat.) (Some purring) Can you (purring) hear that? Listen to that)(meow)

Anyways I hope you like the dice, bye.

End transcript]

Well, you did name him “Thunder”, so…

semiaquatic secret agent

the moon is a lesbian and she hates terfs

the moon told me personally that she thinks you’re obnoxious and hopes you never get a girlfriend

I have a theory that the moon IS a trans woman cause she’s always associated with feminine things but when we saw the craters that look like a face we called it “The Man In The Moon”. She’s a woman with a face that people may perceive as male. She’s a beautiful trans woman

the moon is a beautiful trans woman who hates terfs and shows her face every night to remind other trans women they are beautiful and strong and loved and important and wonderful and that terfs and their opinions dont matter

I wanna add to this if it’s ok?? In Hindu mythology, Chandra, the moon, was originally thought of as a male deity. However, as time went on, symbolism involving the moon and the name “Chandra” itself became identified with femininity, with beautiful girls being described as having “moon-like faces,” with their dark, long hair reminding lovers of the midnight sky, and names like “Nilaa” (”moon” in Tamil) and “Indu” (in Sanskrit) are now pretty much now completely girl names! 

AlsO Chandra is married to 27 wives, who are all stars. The moon is a trans lesbian and is gay for all the stars in the sky. 

Reblog if you’re gay for the trans lesbian poly moon who supports all woman.

IIRC, with the waxing and warning the moon many times has been a symbol of change so why would the moon EVER been a symbol of cisness??

I’m cis and I 100% percent agree that if any celestial body is going to be trans, it’s the moon.

Also the phases of the moon are her reminding us that change is natural and transitioning to a new you is awesome and beautiful actually.