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A Sorry Attempt at a Zodiac Blog

@natal-issues / natal-issues.tumblr.com

hey! We're Mod Ugh and Mod Spooky. ✨ Ugh: ♉️ Sun, ♎️ Moon, and ♌️ Rising.✨Spooky: ♍️ Sun, ♊️ Moon, ♊️ Rising. ✨ We do aesthetics, compatibility, and any questions you can think of. ✨ Ask box: OPEN! ✨ Icon: @birdsons on Tumblr Header: unkown
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Aries Venus: Warrior, the hunter, knight in shining armor 

Taurus Venus: Bull in the bed, beauty beckoning you to their palanquin, rose in the garden

Gemini Venus: Forest nymph luring you into the woods, curious and playful night visitor, wants you to fly with them

Cancer Venus: Protective boo, loves you like the Moon, date nights at home

Leo Venus: King/queen looking for their other half, roses in hand and you in another, theater romance

Virgo Venus: Tempting maiden in the garden, devotee, secret admirer

Libra Venus: Prince charming, low-key a love goddess, attractive stranger at the masquerade 

Scorpio Venus: Mysterious and sexy being in the corner, bad boy/girl who sweeps you away, siren luring you into the deep

Sagittarius Venus: Wild, rock n roll lover, ready to runaway with you lover, riding past you on their stallion/motorcycle

Capricorn Venus: Suited up with two drinks in hand, old soul lover, unexpected haunting beauty in the woods

Aquarius Venus: Alien lover, rebel darling, one love 

Pisces Venus: Hopeless romantic, poet heart, has plenty of love spells 

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The Signs as Beautifully Spooky Things

- Capricorn: The wing-swoop of a bat in flight, a striking sight against the glow of darkening skies

- Aquarius: Cloud-like ocean waves during nighttime, crashing softly against the edge of a lone lighthouse

- Pisces: A forgotten pond at dusk, the growing moon reflective against its water + crickets humming softly 

- Aries:  Flickering candles dripping quietly from within an empty church

- Taurus: A long and winding path, still and mysterious within the depths of surrounding forestry

- Gemini: A glittering pair of eyes, glowing endearingly from a cloak of shadows

- Cancer: The lullaby from an old music box, its song slowly repeating before fading away into empty air

- Leo:  The wailing of a nightingale, the only sound within the still boundaries of a mossy forest

- Virgo: A golden, winding staircase which now leads to nowhere, unused in an abandoned  castle

- Libra: An uninhabited house left in the woods, nature taking over and growing wildly amongst its structure 

- Scorpio: Worn tombstones chipped from age, thick vines creeping up them softly

- Sagittarius: A dusty old portrait of an enchanting woman, her eyes following you quietly 

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Seeing other gay people in public is such a therapeutic experience like every time I see two girls or two boys together like holding hands or on a date I get like 5 years added onto my life

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my opinion on zodiac signs ! (sun and moon signs) 💘☀️🌜

capricorns: there’s something sexy and mysterious about them, social but can be cold and distant, act tough and pretend like they don’t need anyone on the outside when really they have a bunch of issues on the inside, y’all need to learn to open up and ask for help even if you hate it!! kings and queens of self-control. also, sentimental asf and love deeply, needs to be protected at all cost

aquarius: don’t give a fuck!! loud, very upfront and always have something to say but can’t take criticism, y’all never mind your business lmao, know it alls and love showing it, super caring and helpful, great friends, smart, secretive at times and love their space 

pisces: the cutest and softest babies, love y’all, must be protected at all cost, kind but get taken advantage of the most. crybabies and super emotional. spend a lot of time over thinking, give great advice, usually artistic in some way or another and y’all are very idealistic 

aries: THAT BITCH, usually sexy, loves to act though, moody asf, impulsive, possessive, have a great sense a humor, can have the ugliest attitude and can be intimidating like relax lmao.. best in bed hands down, can lack compassion sometimes and can be insensitive, hustlers, don’t like to open up but amazing friends 

taurus: always attractive, stubborn asf!! don’t like people telling them what to do, take FOREVER to let shit and people go, give great advice, people naturally gravitate towards them, extraverted introverts, fall in love every day, bad with change would rather stick to a routine, sexual as fuck, can be super manipulative, crave secutiry 24/7, loyal and super chill 

geminis: wild cards, never know what to expect , a lot to handle in relationships, you will have the best conversations of your life with them, best to party with, hella flirty, super smart, multiple personalities, moody, childish but overall fucking fun people 

cancers: love y’all but can be annoying, love to talk, attractive, competitive as fuck, social, make friends quick, super emotional and sensitive and suck at hiding it!! think they’re all that, super great friends, will always have your back if they fuck with you, hard workers

leos:  can be very annoying!! y’all talk too much, huge egos, prideful, love when the attention is on you but suck at giving it back, relationships with you sounds exhausting, great with advice loyal to a fault, family oriented, don’t get comfortable very quick and very careful with who they trust

virgos: can never be satisfied, kings and queens of self-destruction, too hard on themselves, always criticizing something or someone, very competitive and super hard workers! control freaks,  self-reliant, loving and loyal. y’all need to take a moment to breathe sometimes.. you’re amazing and you’ll be fine 

libras: favs! flirty fucks, funny, witty, corny asf & you can’t take them seriously lmao, have this way to attract anyone towards them, positive, can have a bad temper & lowkey sensitive but get over things and people quick. social as fuck, everyone loves y’all. the type to laugh during uncomfortable situations, all over the place, ALWAYS MIA, hard workers, the type of person you always want to have around. however, indecisive, don’t know what they want in relationships, they’re heartbreakers & will probably play you, people always fall for y’all…

scorpios: problematic favs! get angry fast, super emotional, sexual asf!!! sweet talkers, tell it like it is, when in love hard for them to let go and can be super possessive, amazing friends, will fight anyone for you if they really fuck with you, can ruin your life, have trust issues and are very skeptical

sagittarius: why are y’all so attractive? flirts 101!! seem like the sweetest people but can ruin your life. only nice when they wanna be but can switch up real quick, great as friends, always down to do anything, entitled, walk around like you can’t touch them, can be sensitive but won’t admit it, so irritating when angry and likes to pin things on others!! 

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little compliments

aries: you’re so gentle with everyone because you know exactly what it’s like to be broken, to be treated badly, and you know how it feels. you’re kind and soft and delicate even if you don’t like to show it. i admire how much you care, and how you really try to make everyone feel better.

taurus: you’re sensitive, sure. but i’ve never met someone who is as sensitive to other people’s needs as you are. you’re constantly giving encouragement and you thrive off of other people being happy, and it’s rare to find someone who isn’t envious of others. 

gemini: you have the most adventurous soul, you want to see the world and you have so much inside of you just ready to burst. it’s truly mesmerizing how many thoughts and ideas and wonders can be held inside of one person, and that person is you. 

cancer: you love people with no limits and no boundaries, you never question giving up on them. do you know how special it is, to have someone in the world like you? who’s willing to do everything you can for the people you love, and not expect anything in return? being able to love like you do is something i will endlessly strive for.

leo: you run full force into the hardest situations. i admire the fact that you simply know you can handle anything, and you endure it better than anyone else. you stand tall and proud in situations that most people would crumble in, and you do it courageously, without a second thought.

virgo: you’ve been through the hardest of times, and now you truly know yourself. i love the fact that you’re just so true to who you are, even when everyone might be attacking you or be against you. it takes strength to stick by your values in a world like ours.

libra: you’re still soft, and i don’t know how. because you feel everything, all the time. and yet, even after enduring the worst of it, you remain positive and hopeful. you truly are the light at the end of the tunnel.

scorpio: chasing after what you want is something that is so strong in you. you really go after everything with a full heart of passion. whether it be love, friendship, or a life goal, you’re always willing to go through all the obstacles to get what you want and that is something i will never stop being in awe about.

sagittarius: you give it all to people even if they don’t give it all to you. do you know how much strength it takes to see the best in people, to be so generous and warm? you give people the benefit of the doubt, always. and it will always amaze me.

capricorn: i love how you always find a way to make everything a little bit humorous, even in the most negative circumstances. you know how to make literally anyone in a room laugh or feel better and it’s an energy that the world really needs.

aquarius: you’re so transparent with people, and it makes them want to come to you. you have a natural, welcoming essence about you, and you’re always there for other people. and, if someone wants a real, blunt opinion, they can always come to you. we all need that friend who puts us in our place.

pisces: you’re the most intellectual people. you study people, and it’s like you already know them based off of just a few interactions. it takes a special person to be so intuitive, empathetic, and perceptive to how other people are feeling and what they’re going through. 

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Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Try to avoid attention, words will travel further than normal for a while. Where gossip goes, death follows.

Taurus: Impress your boss! capture the enemy CEO and present their head as tribute.

Gemini: Today you will be offered an excellent deal. Six cats for the price of one, all in one compact physical form. The decision is up to you.

Cancer: The stars say you’re headed for some change, some real high-energy chemical change. Someone will try to set you on fire.

Leo: The dentist putting his hand in your mouth is not a challenge and they need their fingers. They talk about you in the orthodontic community.

Virgo: Your eyes reflect your souls. In your eyes, the stars see the sega dreamcast.

Libra: The stripper is definitely not human. Do with this what you will.

Scorpio: The stars say no horoscope today because you didn’t eat your vegetables and thats final.

Ophiuchus: Curiosity kills the cat. Curiosity is an apex predator and a carnivore.

Sagittarius: Show your appreciation with a well composed poem and a salvo of rockets.

Capricorn: Looks like luck is on your side, capricorn. Looks like you’re headed for a mother fuckin estuary.

Aquarius: Sometimes the easy way out still involved being hit with a gold club. Not saying you should be thankful, just prepared.

Pisces: The future is here and boy is it sticky.

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freebornfox

What the Signs Need

Aries – “I believe in you.”

Aries are full of energy. They’re bold and impulsive. They seem confident because they always have a response; they’re always quick to act. However, this isn’t always confidence- sometimes it’s just their impulsive nature that forces them to act. Yes, they are children who know no fear, but they desperately need emotional support. Knowing that someone else has confidence in them, that someone is on their team, can push an Aries to become their best person: a fearless leader.

Taurus – “There’s no rush.”

Taurus hate feeling pressured. They need to feel comfortable and fulfilled before they reach any decision and definitely before they act. Having someone who understands their need for security and their slow (omg so slow sometimes) pace actually helps them feel better about making big moves (which kind of freaks them out because they don’t like change)!

Gemini – “You’re not crazy.”

Lets be honest, Gemini placements can inject lots of thoughts and feelings into a person. It creates indecisiveness and mental chaos, which makes a person moody. And people with Gemini placements know this and are sometimes unsteadied by the amount of mercurial energy. Having someone tell them that their need to overanalyze everything is okay and having someone who will listen to their endless thoughts is extremely validating and comforting to them. 

Cancer – “You make a difference.”’

Most Cancers really take on more than they should, and they’ll take on more if it means helping another. They do this because they want to change and influence the world in a caring manner. And because they do this in a caring manner (instead of in a forceful manner (Aries) or strategic manner (Capricorn)), they sometimes doubt their efforts. They doubt that they have any impact on anyone, which just isn’t true. A Cancer’s kindness and ability to provide emotional support and strength to another is unmatched by any other sign, and someone who acknowledges this “hidden” strength and reminds a Cancer of it when they forget, will satisfy a Cancer in a meaningful way. 

 Leo – “Let me take care of you.”

Leos are very loyal and will do a lot for their partners and friends. However, this can not go unnoticed or unreciprocated. Leos need people to show them that they are thankful by returning the favor and then some. Leos want you to exceed their expectations just like they would do for you, and they won’t accept less.

Virgo – “Let me help you.”

Virgos really are about serving people’s needs and in what way and with what means changes depending on the planet and the house that Virgo is in. However, the need to serve is definitely present, and there is nothing worse than someone who consistently takes from a Virgo and never gives back. Because a Virgo isn’t like Leo, they won’t stop giving, blow up, and cut you off. A Virgo will continue to give even to their own detriment. This is why a Virgo needs someone who not only returns a favor but someone who just starts helping from the very beginning without having to be asked. 

Libra – “You’re beautiful.”

Libras are very indecisive. They easily can get caught up in what people think or feel about them. They constantly are trying to define themselves and figure out who they are by mirroring others. They spend so much time looking at others that they frequently can’t identify their own qualities, which makes them question themselves on every level. To have someone who can definitively tell a Libra they’re beautiful (inside (Libras want to change the world too) and outside (Libras are vain) and be able to explain to them why, takes a huge weight off of their shoulders. For a few seconds, they don’t have to search or mirror because the person in front of them is telling them all they need to hear. (P.S. You will have to elaborate as to why they are beautiful- in what ways, specific examples, etc. They are an air sign haha it comes with further questioning)!

Scorpio – “I won’t leave.”

Scorpios are intense. Even if they come off light because of a misleading Ascendant or some other placement, there is a distinct side to them that is serious, edgy, and somewhat dark. And while most Scorpios enjoy the depth and transformation that comes with their placement, they can also be self conscious about it because they know it doesn’t make them the easiest to deal with, and it can lead to people leaving them, which highlights one of their biggest fears: abandonment. Scorpios thrive to have someone who won’t leave them in their darkest night because they need and expect unwavering loyalty. They also feel relieved knowing that not everyone is scared of (or drowns in) their depths.

Sagittarius – “Be free with me”

Sagittarius loves freedom: freedom of thought, expression, creativity, expansion, knowledge, etc. And they also love people (because they provide endless learning) and love to share their experiences of freedom and knowledge with other people, which can be a problem because people can slow them down. People come with baggage and responsibilities and can lead to becoming attached, which can influence someone to put down roots, which petrifies them. The run-on sentence is necessary to accurately depict their very real fear of this and them running away. But seriously this is why a Sag needs someone who calms that inner fear of being tied down because they know they have found someone to run free with.

Capricorn – “I appreciate all that you do.”

Capricorns show they care in a behind-the-scenes manner. They do it through helping and performing tasks- possibly doing things that are needed instead of wanted. They are consistent providers and supporters, and because they are consistent, their efforts can be overlooked and/or viewed as boring or expected. This is why when a Capricorns finds someone who acknowledges and appreciates their efforts, they are likely to do even more for that person and consider them as really valuable. 

Aquarius – “You’re my best friend.”

People with Aquarius placements go back and forth between their love for being an individual and their fear of being so different that they don’t fit in anywhere. They want a companion but not one who wants to completely merge (because 1. they need to be their own person and 2. scary). They need someone to listen even if they don’t completely understand them (and honestly an Aquarius doesn’t want to be 100% understood anyway). They need someone who doesn’t deny their authenticity and isn’t repelled by their individuality, and who better to do that than a best friend.   

Pisces – “You’re my soulmate.”

More than any other sign, Pisces really have a need to merge with another person. Traditional love isn’t enough for them. They are really looking for that fated connection, their soul mate. They need to know that there may be a billion other people in the world and that no one in that billion could replace them. They don’t need to feel that you chose them but rather that fate, through several lifetimes, chose the both of you for one another

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ooc: decided to draw yuri again today, she’s in a different outfit then usual though! 8)

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the signs as award-winning cat names

ARIES: Brown Cobra!!

TAURUS: Harry Winston

GEMINI: Strike a Pose

CANCER: Just Sweetness

LEO: American Idol

VIRGO: Vanilla Bean

LIBRA: She’s Got Style

SCORPIO: Dark Secret

SAGITTARIUS: Whiskey in the Water

CAPRICORN: Magnum Opus

AQUARIUS: Mara Jade of the Darkside

PISCES: Stardust

piscardust.

This portmanteau was created from phrase ‘pisces stardust’. Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1

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hoyitspaolo
An Aquarius grabbed a hold of his girl and whispered softly, “Listen to me, I know that I messed this up but please, don’t go..” she looked up at him and frowned, she slowly and gently holds his cheeks with her hands and smiled softly. She told him that at this point they have both reached the pinnacle of their relationship, and every day was the same old thing and she wasn’t feeling it anymore. He tries to reassure her that it will be different this time around, but she shook her head sadly and slowly lets go. It was over.
An Aries told me, “I’m not afraid to die right now..” as he tightly squeezed his chest and I looked up only to meet his eyes already wet from crying. “I’m not afraid to die right now.. this fucking feeling right here hurts more than the thought of dying. Holy shit. Why does losing someone hurt so much, man?” He looked back at me with a sad smile on his face.
A Cancer caused a mess in his room. It was hard for his friends to settle him down or get to him as he threw everything and broke every piece of furniture in his room while he’s calling out name in pain. He found out the girl he loved so much is about to be engaged to somebody else.
A Capricorn took a drag of his cigarette and looks up at the night sky, and pointed at the Virgo constellation. He raised his middle finger up and shouted, “Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck you for what you believe in. “I’ll just let things flow and let things come for us..” What kind of bullshit is that. You’re shit. You’re just running away from your damn emotions! Good luck! You can’t erase me, you think you could just leave me like that?! Fuck you!” He stopped and breathed heavily after shouting at the universe. He looked at me and frowned, “I really hate Virgos.” he said solemnly.
A Gemini ripped all the letters she has sent to him, they have been together for almost 3 years and they have been writing letters to each other as a romantic game, seeing people don’t write letters anymore.. but I watched as each letter slowly being ripped less and less than before. He slumped back onto his chair and sighed and watched as the fire infront of him burn. “I’m free, man..” he said to me. He looked over to me with a frown, “I’m free, but for I’m not myself without her..”
A Leo took three shots of alcohol and leaned back his chair and watched as everything around him begins to slow just as how he realized how slow he was to act out on the things that his girl wanted him to. How every time, the constant fighting and disagreements. He closed his eyes as their fight from earlier replayed in his head. He should’ve stopped her.. she always comes back to him. That’s why he was so proud that she will just walk right back in and come work this out for them.. but it’s been months.
A Libra begged me to help him win her back. Explaining how she was everything he has ever asked for in his life, and no matter what he will do anything to fix it all, but I explained to him that he wasn’t being faithful, and she found about it. She trusted you. He got angry and told me that he didn’t need to hear that from me. He was going to try and get that second chance..
A Pisces reaches over his phone and sees if he texted yet, and sighs to find his phone dry and empty. Heading out, he grabs a cigarette from his pocket and lights it up. He scrolls through his social media and finds her, posting. She posted a picture of her with someone else in her arms and she seems very happy, and the guy is kissing her neck. He lets out a horrible chuckle and breathes all the nicotine from the cigarette and exhales heavily. He mutters, “fuck..” as he feels tears moving down his cheeks. “Fuck..” he mutters again and drops his phone and slumping against the wall..
A Sagittarius started to pace back and forth. He feels like choking and couldn’t breathe. His anxiety is getting the best of him and he doesn’t know what to do. She finally told him that she wasn’t going to stay, and she needed something more. He tried to ask her to stay, but she made her decision already. He feels lost. It’s getting worst again.
A Scorpio sat up and pushed his way through the crowded hallway and into the bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror and laughed at how pathetic he looked. His phone beeped and he looked and read the text and frowned. “It’s over..” was just on the screen and he slammed his fists on the bathroom sink and punched the wall. A couple tried knocking at the door and asked if he was okay. He looked down to find his hands bruised and red. He should’ve taken good care of her..
A Taurus and I were outside his driveway and he was spilling some heavy thoughts with me and he said, “I can’t always be the one who tries and do everything just to keep a relationship from failing. It’s so unfair. She’s so unfair.” He slowly starts to bend over and pretends to pick up “his broken pieces” off the ground and then suddenly stopped. “No,” he said, “Fuck this.. I shouldn’t..”
A Virgo is surrounded by his friends from this table and everyone is laughing and having a good time. He stays quiet and slowly his mind begins to race with the thoughts of her and he frowns. He drowns everyone in the room and all he can think of is her. He reaches for his glass of beer and chugs it all down and wiped his face. Angerily, he calls out for the bartender for another one. His friends stopped what they were doing and all stared at him. Worriedly, they all try to calm him down but he’s pushing everyone away and want to drown his sorrows tonight.

Why Now?

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i get heated when people feel the need to go out of their way to tell me astrology/tarot etc are fake. yes i know. here’s a concept though.. literally everything in the world is fake. Everything. Things only work because you believe in them. Money? fake. The government? Fake. businesses? fake! your name? fake! nothing is real except life and death so let me have fun with my Magic Cards™

THIS

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The Mask of the Moon The internal child playing dress-ups

Moon in Aries: The girl who breathes fire when she is angry self starting and solo active with a need for quiet recognition and oversight. it doesn’t feel real and substantial unless somebody is there watching on. friendly rivalry quickly blows out of proportion, and they will do anything not to lose. they get so angry and frustrated at everybody and including themselves that they just give up and stop moving 

Moon in Taurus: The girl who buys good feelings. moon in taurus comfort cooks, comfort cleans, and comfort eats. they have an innate sense of maturity and competence when providing for other people. these people can automatically assume a parenting-like, or guardian role with children, dependants, and animals without prior experience or exposure. they have a natural mother’s touch  

Moon in Gemini: The girl who never gets boring a mood change is a personality change. stressors are managed on an hourly basis, the person cannot predict their mood or response to events. they know stress management techniques, but in true gemini style, this know-how can be purely intellect. they can have absolutely no idea how to use or apply this knowledge to their own emotional and subjective self and experience, it’s very hard for Gemini when they have to feel it and not think it. 

Moon in Cancer: The girl who can speak to wolves can experience quite extreme energetic highs and lows throughout the day, the baseline is rarely still. they can become almost hyper active and suddenly collapse into a listless and hopeless state. these people take a long time to wake up in the morning, the sunlight is off frequency so they can wake up full of allergies, bloated, or hungry

Moon in Leo: The girl who is searching for the divine mother figure she craves there are multiple cracks in this facade and the dramatic outburst can be a noisy and chaotic distraction from what is really going on inside this person. these people are not as fond of fame as sun leos. but they need to shine beneath the spotlight of a lover’s eyes, an intimate show. they just want to be special to somebody, royalty in someone’s eyes. they don’t belong on the stage they belong in someone’s heart  

Moon in Virgo: The girl who keeps too many secrets just as there is a perfect environment and product, there is a perfectly sculpted emotional demonstration. these people have a hard time crying in front of others, they can be self-contemptuous and tell themselves they are ugly and unwanted when they cry. there can be a slow response to emotional stimulus because the individual has trained themselves to prepare the correct response. it can certainly stifle their natural joy and creativity, and people miss hearing their laughter 

Moon in Libra: The girl whose emotions turn her into Alice these people can be private binge eaters, secretly consuming sugary and sweet products. they have erratic fluid levels so bloating and bladder problems are common. single life can generate mass identification with flaws and complexes, like the only traits they can see in themselves are the personal faults that caused them to be alone. libra is tricky in the moon, because both of these energies are never as they seem

Moon in Scorpio: The girl who feels more at home in hell there is no other option but to get what they want. these people will go through extreme conditions to have their emotional needs met. this is because their will, desire, and emotional potency is so commanding and devouring that it can almost feel like they are going to die if this emotional need is not met 

Moon in Sagittarius: The girl that travels far and wide so she can leave suitcases of her emotions behind these people detest drama, hysteria, and demanding partners. but on a good day, they can throw fuel into the conflict flame and re-generate the chaos that is so frustrating for them. in the heat of the moment, they can shoot burning arrows straight from the tongue. they can say a lot of things that they regret, and they can also be convinced that hearing their truth will help you

Moon in Capricorn: The girl that never let herself cry hard work begins at the moment of first breath for lunar capricorn. developing emotional intelligence and maturity is equally as vital to the greater ambition as education, profession, and family. these people do a lot of internal-work in privately. they often have journals and artistic hobbies they never told you about. following a tough working day, they get home and pretend everything is fine and normal. then they disappear and hide in their office or bed, put their weary head inside their big hands and wonder just how they are going to manage this time  

Moon in Aquarius: The girl who doesn’t believe her own feelings emotions have a mini fireworks display with moon in aquarius. that means they can experience the sudden cacophony of loud noise, chaos, excitement, fear, awe, and beauty followed by an eerie, empty silence that blows through them. in these moments they wonder if they are defected and abnormal 

Moon in Pisces: The girl that felt too much there is rarely a rhyme or reason for mood changes and uncontrollable sobs, sleepiness, and intense frustration toward people around her. you may catch a glimpse of how much you are annoying them but they are too polite to say anything. a lunar pisces ‘mood’ is better described as a powerful consolidation of around 5 or 6 emotional states that have become caught in the pisces feeling currant 

-C.

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