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comingoutofthecauldron

stop telling your teenage daughters who say they don't want kids that they'll change their mind

reblog the shit outta this

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morriganwarrior

I haven't been a teenager in over a decade. Mind has yet to change on the subject.

  • At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn't want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.
  • At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn't want to uave babies. Ever.
  • At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, "What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?" My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would 'grow up' qnd change my mind.
  • At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she'd heard that I didn't want kids. She patted my mom's arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, "Don't worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She'll give you grand babies"
  • At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, "thank goodness I'm never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life", then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn't-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn't want to. She was aghast, then told me that I'd change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.
  • Well, I'm over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don't hate children, I don't think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don't think it's impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don't have that biological imperative to procreate, I don't have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I've gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don't feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).

So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don't tell them that meeting 'the right guy' will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband's desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it's her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband's desire to be a father doesn't supercede her autonomy.

Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don't need another judgement from someone who hasn't walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.

*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*

Thanks for attending my TED talk. G'night.

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luesmainblog

some of you are terrified of your Biological Clock, and that's alright; it's valid to want kids and be scared of the time when you won't be able to anymore. I have been actively waiting for menopause since i was 13. the day i become infertile will be a day i feel IMMENSE relief at no longer having that risk. i can imagine some scenario where i maybe adopt because of circumstances(kids parents go to jail and SOMEONE has to keep them out of foster care), but i have no Want of children, and i absolutely positively do not EVER want to become pregnant. it is pure body horror to me, no positives whatsoever, with the BIGGEST concern being the fact that even when everything is done right there is a very good chance you will DIE in childbirth.

it is, frankly, baffling to me that anyone who has been through a pregnancy and raising a baby would have trouble understanding why some people may not want kids. i get it, you love them so it's worth it to you, but surely you can understand that the things that made it worth it to you are not universal??? the pain, the loss of sleep, the nauseua and fatigue and insane cravings with no appetite, the sleepless nights STILL as you have to take care of this weird little grub who won't be able to love you for another year, the birthing pain, the RECOVERY pain, the endless piles of shit and piss.

there is nothing unreasonable about not wanting to go through that. and frankly, it says a LOT that so many of you are actively not warning people about what pregnancy does to your body besides "ooh your feet swell a bit and your stomach never looks the same again".

#in my case I did change my mind#I thought I wanted to have kids until I grew up enough to realize what having kids entails#and from then on it's been a constant having to explain that no I don't hate children#but I don't want to have them#and no it's not that I can't and I'm bitter about it and that's why I say I don't want them#and also it's no one else's business but my partner's and mine#and also leave me alone#I've been told I'll regret my decision SO. MANY. TIMES#which#even if that was true#I'd rather regret NOT having kids that having them#personal
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smallumbrella369

Some Sentences Sunday Monday

Thank you @ramonaflow for the tag!

After they’d had sex, David lay awake, still and quiet, listening to Patrick sleep. When he makes the decision to leave, a tear courses down his temple and into the pillow case. Another one follows. And another. He chokes back a sob and freezes when Patrick stirs. David breathes. Deep breath in, and blowing it out slow, slow. 

He thinks later that Patrick might even appreciate David’s clear-headed logic. He figures that his heart will break at some point, so why not just break his own heart before Patrick does. It makes the most sense. They've always known his time here is limited. What would he do if he stayed? It makes the most sense to rip off the band-aid.

@missgeevious @statueinthestone @treluna4 @blackandwhiteandrose @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3 @delilah-mcmuffin @dinnfameronn @wordthieve

#ouch#I love this though#schitt's creek
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I've been putting off answering comments on AO3 for months and I'm really embarrassed about it but I'm doing it anyway. So if you get an answer for a comment you wrote to me 200 days ago just know that I'm a disaster and I'm sorry but I appreciate you all SO much

#personal#writing things#I'm the worst#I know
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wordthieve
One Last Shot - Chapter 11 - SweetSirius - Schitt's Creek [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org

It's FINISHED! I'm sorry the epilogue was so late in coming, and I hope it brings things to a satisfying end.

This took far too long to finish but I'm so proud of getting here. Big thanks to everyone in this lovely damn fandom. You're nice.

#amazing fic as always#go read it!#sc fanfic#schitt’s creek#sc fic rec
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dailynewgirl

WELCOME TO DAILYNEWGIRL your newest source for an old favorite! we're currently looking for members who can post gifsets or graphics at least once a month. if interested, you can apply here!

tracking #dailynewgirl and #newgirledit

#sb#new girl
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