I’m back to give an update
Hello all, I never use this blog anymore and I’m almost certain nobody will like, reblog or respond to this let alone even see it. But I logged on today and scrolled down my page. I read a lot of posts ranging from early 2017-mid 2018 where I was in a really dark place. I was on and off with a boyfriend with whom I had an unhealthy relationship. I was friends with people who were not very nice people, who belittled me, disrespected me, took advantage of me. During my periods of being single I was using sex as a coping mechanism, sleeping with a man I knew I had no future or deep feelings with. I was severely depressed, spending days in end in bed, having panic attacks every day, unable to leave the house, in and out of therapy and counselling. I had nobody in my life other than family and I never wanted to burden them with my problems. In October 2018, I had had enough of the bullshit. I went to my doctor, explained I had been struggling with depression and anxiety for over three years and I was willing to try medication. Since then my life has transformed in more ways than one. My mood is stable, my anxiety has lifted. I can go anywhere at any time, take the bus, train, I can walk my dog in the park with ease. I finished university, I met my current boyfriend who is everything I could have asked for and more. I am much more at peace with myself mentally and spiritually. I am currently looking for employment and freelance gigs because I want to be a writer. I guess the point of this post is to let anyone who is struggling know that it can get better. I’m not saying medication is the answer for everyone. Nor therapy, nor this or that. But if you’re willing to transform your life by ridding yourself of unhealthy relationships, friendships and habits, your mind will be much clearer and you will be a much better place to recieve the help you need to get better. It’s funny how this blog started as just a fun marvel fandom blog for me, now two years later it’s almost like a diary of my mental health progress. This was the only place I felt safe sharing a lot of things, totally anonymously, without judgement. I always thought about deactivating but I think I’ll keep it to remind myself of how far I’ve come. If you have reached the end of this post, then thank you for reading. I most likely won’t get back into posting on here, but I feel pretty good about this being the top and final post on my blog. Hopefully it will be just what somebody else needs to hear, if they stumble across my blog in the future.
