My Tales

Warm bread. You agree. Reblog

this leaves out the most crucial tip you'll ever need:

-site:pinterest.*

excludes the entirety of pinterest's evil domainverse from image search

Reblogging for the Pinterest addition

I think you mean “reblog for the pinterest subtraction”

People who love cold weather are fucking weird. You like to freeze? You like to shiver?? You like when you take a step outside and the air stings your skin???

i feel like this is the only time ive understood what an nft is so im gonna need someone to confirm if it's right or not

Genuinely can’t stand the new favouritism towards video format. You want me to spend a whole two minutes listening to someone say out loud a paragraph I could read in 20 seconds?

(This is about tiktok. I hate tiktok.)

It’s not just tiktok, it’s everything. I’m tired of clicking on news articles and instead finding it’s a video I have to watch. I’m tired of being sent to a video when I want to learn about a new thing instead of an article I can skim in less than a minute. You mean you want me to sit through an entire video, listening for the one kernel of information that’s buried in there that I’m interested in? Nah, man, life is too short to waste it like that. I don’t know why any of you like videos lmao.

The only thing worse than videos that could’ve been a single paragraph of text is a gifset with 15 gifs that could’ve been a 20-second video…

I’ve seen recipes that were in gif formats. they listed the ingredients and steps to complete only within the gifs. that you couldn’t pause or rewind. they could not have chosen a worse way to convey information if they tried.

what if vampires are like mosquitoes and only the ladies drink blood

Pretty sure that would mean the fellas drink tree sap or something. Imagine running from a vampire thru the woods and passing her husband who’s biting a tree real hard

Maple syrup vampire husband

Encounter: Maple syrup vampire husband drinking sap in the woods, also trying to lure you to his literally bloodthirsty wife.

The wife has the classic Villain Of The Night aesthetic, all black, flowing cape, everything, and her husband is wearing red flannel, overalls, a beard, and is welding a log-splitting axe

This person gets it! Classic vampire lady and her lumberjack husband!

I regret nothing

i bet none of you were ready to see this image in HD

Holy shit that's so cool

Finally “do you love the colour of the sky” got compressed for our convenience

Would sleeping with a centaur be considered bestiality?

Yes

That raises another question: do centaurs have human or horse genitals? Or both?

Horse.

Then the question is, would it be morally acceptable for a centaur to mate with a normal horse

And what would the offspring be like?

I hate all of this

This is the last thing you see before you die

World Heritage Post

A friend of mine got a copy of an old Dutch edition of The Hobbit. I absolutely agree with their assessment that this is the best cover art the book has ever had.

The more I look at it the more I love it. Look at it. Look at Bilbo. He’s just a little guy

When god closes a door I shove my sword through the gap at the bottom and swipe at his ankles

may your next ibuprofen take effect swiftly and noticeably

everyone is too busy on their phones these days to earn the undying loyalty of a misunderstood beast by treating it with compassion and respect instead of fear

What do you call my mutuals then? Huh?

you present an unexpected yet compelling argument

My life advice is you should slack off as much as possible

I am in a hell of my own creation

how do people get in relationships like how does that even happen how do u get the universe to align in ur favour like that