I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat.
It tickles me that the tweets are talking about Rose (Betty White) while the art shows Blanche (while Dorothy has a gentle meltdown at the desk, which I do love), because this actually was a point of contention in the show:
The slut is dead, long live the slut.
Dorothy, about Rose: She is the easiest woman in this room.
Blanche, deeply offended: Dorothy Zbornak, you take that back!
I love them. I love them so much.
Dorothy, about
Rose: She is the easiest
woman in this room.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."
Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."
Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does
I don't have the patience to write a fic or draw, but here is some of my thoughts for @maedhrosmaglorweek
I absolutely love that Nerdanel was not considered beautiful, because it adds so much to her and Feanor's characters. Feanor is the Greatest Elf of All Time™ who is a PRINCE, and could have married ANYONE, but he chose her.
Like imagine this from an outsider's perspective. Feanor, the most talented and intelligent elf of all time, next in line to the throne, greatest craftsman, presumably very attractive elf falls in love with someone who is considered ugly. Not only do they get married, but they do so almost scandalously young, to the point where it is technically okay but still very young. This and the fact that they had more children than anyone ever just goes to show how much they must love each other.
Feanor is not one to do things by halves. He would put great thought into choosing his wife, and this guy must have been simping SO HARD. Nerdanel is the daughter of his favorite teacher, which makes her even more off-limits if anything. Nerdanel's personality perfectly counteracts Feanor's, and she takes absolutely none of his shit. She was the first person to stand up to him and the only one that can make him listen (until silmaril times). She is a sculpter, so presumably very strong. Feanor marrying Nerdanel likely brought some of his personality to life that others did not see, the part of him that made people follow him.
Not gonna lie, Elrond probably has the BEST case of Dad Lore™️ that has ever existed.
Like one day Elrohir is just helping wrap bandages or some shit and offhandedly mentions a cave he found and Elrond just goes off on a mini tangent of a cave he slept in with Maedhros when he did CPR for the first time and ate an orc raw or some shit. Elrohir just looks at him like ?????? And Elrond never mentions it again.
Arwen will be talking about dwarven trade routes and he will just be like “oh I’m pretty sure that’s where I delivered that dwarven baby after we hid from goblins back in the second age” and then no one knows what’s going on.
Lmao imagine if a couple wanted to get married in Lindon or Imladris and saw Elrond and was like “sure why not” and just, asked him to witness their vows in place of any actual maiar or valar.
Like the relationship between the elves in the Valar-Only-Mildly-Care Place and the Valar/Maiar themselves has got to still be stiff since elves are stupidly stubborn about holding grudges, so imagine if a couple just went “fuck the valinor glowsticks, Lord Elrond has been feeding us well and sheltering us for over a century. He’s got some ainur blood anyway.”
So they ask Elrond to be witness and he agrees thinking they just want a lord’s blessing or something and then-
“[Elvish Marriage Vows] we swear in the name of Lord Elrond Peredhel and Eru Illuvatar [More Marriage Vows]”
And at this point Elrond just has to roll with it but he bluescreens later while Erestor and Glorfindel laugh at him (Celebrian and or Gil-Galad too if they’re around)
Bonus points if It becomes a tradition in Imladris/Lindon even though he neutrally suggests a vala instead every time like
Elrond, trying not to get smited as soon as he steps foot into Valinor: hey Lady Yavanna is pretty cool though, right?
Elven Couple, exiled thousands of years ago and still frost-bitten: yes, pity there were no flowers in the Grinding Ice, my Lord. Anyways, would you mind being a witness to our wedding ceremony?”
Elrond starts glowing slightly and never lives it down. He goes to Valinor and people still ask him out of tradition or genuine respect and the Valar just have to put a small tapestry of Elrond as a patron of unions or something so they can claim some sort of control over the situation.
Elrond is mortified, and nobody lets him live it down.
you know I couldn’t be a cowboy because I’d be stuck with my partner in the dead cold prairie night and our horses would be tied up and we’d be huddlin around a crudely made fire because it was too far to go back to the ranch and he’d play the sweetest song on his harmonica, the kind that you felt in your bones and your heart and that the hymns had nothin on, and then he’d finish and we’d both lean in a little too close and my hand would be on his bandanna and his whiskey-breath would be hot on my lips and I’d realize that maybe it wasn’t the touch of a woman i’d been hankerin for
yeah I’ll be honest I don’t know wtf possessed me here
I had a dream last night that I was at a coffee shop and there was a drink called ‘fistbumping lesbians’ and it was a seven shot caramel latte
I start work super early tomorrow so guess who’s gonna make herself a fistbumping lesbians at the start of her shift
Behold the fistbumping lesbians
Jsyk this thing could wake the dead
4 hours later: I’m fricken ZAZZED you guys
Me rn
I did some googling. Apparently Starbucks has more caffeine in their coffee than most places. So a grande drip coffee there is 330 mg of caffeine, instead of 180-230 or whatever.
The articles that I saw mentioning this all cited 400 as the safe daily amount of caffeine, although none of them said why.
The espresso has more too, 89mg instead of 67.
So this drink has 623 mg of caffeine.
Technically, you’d also be going all Blurrily Accelerating Lesbian Skeleton if you had two grande drip coffees there.
But where’s the fun in that?
i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video
I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.
Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art
silm shitpost go brrr
I don't know how to explain this, but the energy I get from Maedhros is that he was the type of teenager (or equivalent) who would volunteer to hold a parent's hand to cross the street to be a good example for his toddler-aged brothers to follow, and this is actually how he rules in Beleriand
Like, he leads by example, but he leads by example while telegraphing his every action in very clear and obvious ways to an audience who might throw a tantrum and/or start a war with little to no warning
“And now we are going to hand the crown over to Fingolfin, because respect earns authority and the loss of respect means the loss of authority—”
Having said all this, I really wish I could see Maedhros's face when he learns
A) Thingol's power does run very far. In fact Thingol technically has power over the Noldor. Maedhros himself will have to take orders from him or risk a civil war. What was that about kings?
B) Within like a century of his father taking a stance on th/s, now the House of Feanor can't speak Quenya at all, th or s. He's getting the WORST grade at being a son.
C) Damn Sindarin is the only thing he'll have to speak now. Maedros Maedhros, who is noticeably great at Sindarin
I mean I'm sure his face was very carefully neutral but I'm sure he was throwing a tantrum in the privacy of his mind
So, on this blessed day (birthday of my beloved husband and wedding of an author I SO admire), I offer you a little gift.
Here's a commission by @sauroff for my very favourite boys!!! At the end of the small ficlet I've written for it, you'll find the extra Fingon-reaction-panel and the mini-comic I got (I am still screaming) on which I've based the last part of the story!!!
Words: 1,21 k
Warnings: Russingon (which is a half-cousin-incest ship)
Context: This might be read as a snippet out of my many Modern!AU stories. Either way, Maedhros and Fingon did not know each other well when they were younger because of their fathers' strife.
“Ai Russo,” Fingon called from the door. “You won’t believe what just arrived.”
As he re-entered the room, he was brandishing a small rectangular piece of cardboard triumphantly; from his perch on the sofa, all Maedhros could make out was a cramped block of handwritten text followed by an eerily familiar, sprawling collection of signatures though.
mayglor day 6: maglor sings a lullaby to little baby moryo
