I'm alone below the blue moonlight

FRIENDS 6.15: “The One That Could Have Been(Part 1)"

i can always relate to a girl who wants to leave

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

⟢ highlight of the hour: my perfect stranger [1/16] ⟣

I don't want to dissect this music video too much because it feels so personal and like maybe we should all just interpret it for ourselves and let it be, but something about the significance of Yoongi giving himself the scar...idk, it is stuck in my brain. Like the implication that he created the opposing Agust D personas, or even that the King and Detective, who are the antagonists of Daechwita and Haegeum, are born from this place of trauma. These 3 music videos are connected, and at least for me there's sort of two ways to view it. One one hand, a prequel, he gives himself the scar and these antagonists are born from the raw feelings he is forced to face on his own trapped in this room, the anger and sadness and fear, etc. On the other hand, maybe it's the final piece. Maybe it's one more version of Yoongi going down the same path as the King and Detective, who will go on to try and eliminate the protagonist Yoongi, the "good" Yoongi who we root for in the previous two MVs, and drag him down with them and force him to comply, to give in, to give up, but this time we see the outside Yoongi coming to try and save him rather than get rid of him. Also, as this Yoongi is the representation of the Amgydala, which stores these traumas in order to better prepare us for future traumas, it seems he is trying to reach the door to aid Yoongi, to warn him of what's to come and prevent further suffering. If this is the final chapter and the outside Yoongi is reaching out, trying to open the door, trying to help, maybe this is the "acceptance" part of the journey. Maybe this is him saying, "I see that your trauma did this to you and I'm here to get you out" rather than silencing the scarred Yoongi the way of Daechwita and Haegeum. This music video felt like it was about healing and while we don't get a pretty resolution, we do get both Yoongi's trying to help the other, and perhaps face that trauma and accept it in ways he never has before.

“So, THAT is your comfort character?”

*points at the dead fictional man with a tragic past and unresolved trauma*

I was thinking again about the bizarre phenomenon of Not Me being both About Black and yet him being this strange blackhole in the middle of the narrative that is never completely filled in. And I regretfully must say it was my halloween Supernatural rewatch that made me finally crack the code.

Black isn't missing from the story, he's haunting it. In Not Me, Black occupies this strange place in the plot because despite being alive, he's actually a ghost from the moment he's attacked. He's mourned, missed, he's a call to action, but he himself remains a ghost who never steps back into the light.

It just so happens at a certain point he wakes up and becomes a very violent ghost who does influence things. But he doesn't take back his life, he doesn't fill the hole he left behind, White does while using his brother for motivation in the way only those in mourning do. White doesn't try and get Black back, he mourns him, and then he finds closure and moves on, because to the story Black is just a ghost hovering at the edges. He haunts them all, even loves some of them. But he stops being able to live alongside them.

Not Me wrote Black so weird because it was a ghost story where the ghost survived dying.

but sir, that’s my emotional support unachievable dream scenario that I came up with in my head

Enemies to “I found you while hurt and had to take care of you and in your vulnerable state I saw a side of you I’ve never seen before” to lovers

jin ajshsksjs

im so sick of social media but tumblr? thats home.

you are allowed to be proud of the victories that no one else can see. like showering without completely hating your body, not breaking into tears at the thought of the future, talking yourself out of a dark mindset, calming yourself down in public, or like waking up every single day and choosing life. be proud of the progress no matter if it is visible for others or not. you’re doing great, keep up the good work!

I think it's a sign of good media when you have to reread or rewatch it to get the full experience. First time is for getting your brain blasted by the story and being confused second time is for knowing who's who and what's what and willingly getting your brain blasted again.

i love talking to people in real life and being like “oh yeah i have instagram but i don’t really use it… i don’t have facebook or tiktok or anything like that either… idk i just don’t want to waste my life on social media, i prefer to live in the moment” and then i go home and spend 12 hours a day on tumblr

being individuals together is so intimate. let’s read different books but curled up next to each other, let’s visit a coffee shop so you can study & i can write, let’s just be near each other

And I'll leave it again! Bitch