Open Minds
Anthion was worked up. For days after seeing Solan he was rushing around the castle, looking up recipes trying them out of Alle’s family members. It was like he was alive again and Anthion didn’t know if he liked it or if he was lost in his need to win approval from both Solan and Alle.
He had bee so focused on reading that he almost ignored the sound of Alle’s footsteps from the hallway. When she entered his lab, he looked up and felt his heart be pulled towards her. No matter the rest of the week, just seeing her confirmed that he would always love her.
“Alle-Dear.” He said closing the cookbook he was scanning. “Done with your meetings?”
“For right now.” She had one of her small smiles, the smiles that Anthion knew were the kindest things her mouth could express. “I wanted to see how you were doing. You’ve been keeping busy since you saw Solan.”
Her saying his name was a strange musical moment. Alle had a lighter voice, one that sounded young until you realized her vocabulary was that of an old woman. Anthion loved that about her, it reminded him of his life as an elf. Maybe that was one of the many factors that caused him to fall in love. Her voice reminded him of home.
“Well I do have a dinner party to plan and I am not making something pedestrian for either of you.” He felt the smile crawl onto his lips. Much of his pride had changed from being a powerful monster to being a man who wanted to leave no doubt in his future mates mind. “Both of you deserve that. Also, it’ll be your first time in Eversong, I have to show off.”
“It will also be the first meal you’ve made since you’ve seen Solan.” She moved around him and Anthion could swear she was meaning something with her words.
It would be the first meal he had made him in too long. Anthion felt his heart hurt a little and he didn’t know how he was going to balance his feelings. The moment he heard Solan was alive old gaping wounds were ripped open and he didn’t know how to deal with them. The wounds only stayed open as he had spoken to the man. Everything he said was enough to cause Anthion to remember the life they almost had. A life where he would still be alive. It would only be a life without Alle.
His conflict was one that only time was going to tell what he really felt.
“Yes.” He said looking to the cookbook and not her corn flower blue eyes. “I am nervous about a few things. I-I would like to ask you something Dear. I want to tell you before I say too much. I love you. You’re the first woman I have ever fallen in love with.” He let out a small breath. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever considered marrying.”
Alle finished her circle around him to stand beside him at his desk. One of her warm hands covered his cool one. Her touch was something he had earned and the simple act, while no longer new still amazed him.
“I know. And I am yours.” She moved so she could set on the edge of the table, holding his hand in hers. “I never had a doubt about that.”
“What if, I still had feelings for Solan?”
The words were out and Anthion felt a small rush of panic as he said them. The panic demanded he fill the empty space not wanting to wait for her response. “I don’t want you to think that this is because of anything you did. It’s a lot of old memories that I am having a hard time trying to navigate and I-I don’t know how to handle my feelings. San’layn were made to have our possessive and territorial feelings boosted. I am lost in what I’m doing. I don’t even know how the living me would have handled th-“
Alle’s hand moved from his hand to his cheek, the warmth kissing his skin. “Stop it. You’re working yourself up again.” Her voice stayed calm and as he looked up to her eyes he saw there was no resentment, no anger. “Do you want to restart your relationship with him?”
“I don’t know.” Anthion said it honestly. “I have old feelings I can’t shake, and I don’t want to ruin who we are.”
“You can’t ruin who we are.” She rubbed her thumb over his cheek. “I don’t care if you have feelings for him. I see it as a good sign, you’re feeling parts of your former self.”
“Neither of us want to hurt you.” He looked up to Alle, and seeing her calm, his fear pulled away. “He doesn’t know I have these feelings; I did warn him I would probably flirt with him. It just, comes out of me.”
Alle paused and for a moment Anthion wondered if she was going to tell him to not flirt with Solan. She leaned down and kissed his cheek a small serene smile fixed on her. “I could tell, you were nearly gushing with approval of him when we spoke. I don’t mind you showing your affection. I’m only territorial if a woman was involved. Solan sounds like a lovely man, I don’t have any reason to feel like he would steal you from me. If instead he reminds you of your former days, brings a bit of your past to your present, then good.”
“Why are you so alright with this?” Anthion asked his voice quiet in the wonder he felt. “Women of my race are possessive and don’t want their mate sleeping around. Or that’s how it’s been. Solan has dealt with that. I couldn’t go thr-“
“I’m not an elf.” Alle said clearly. “I’m going to die one day Anthion. I am very aware I am mortal, and you will outlive me. Solan is someone you loved, and he is going to out live me. If there are lingering feelings, I would rather the two of you be friends and remember that romantic bond. Then after I’m gone, he can comfort you. You will need someone to comfort you and I am not possessive enough to think you should die alone.”
The truth of her intentions hit Anthion like a brick wall. “Alle. Don’t, don’t mention your death.”
“I will die. It’s going to happen. I delayed it enough with my time in the Forest and I’m grateful for that. But you need to understand.” She rested her forehead to his and he could feel her heartbeat under her skin. “I will not see you dead when I die. Don’t make me the reason you leave this world. Don’t leave your children, our children alone.”
The truth was just the way Anthion would see it. It was the true Alle that hid under the woman who acted regal and older than her physical years. This was the reason he fell in love with her, why he thought her family followed her. She had this selfless knowledge that humans did not normally have. It made her wise, but it also made him aware just what she knew.
“You know I was going to die after you passed, didn’t you?”
“I did.” Alle pulled away her shoulders rising and falling. “And I don’t want you to die when I die. You are I will have children who will need your comfort and love. Keep your connection with Solan. At least when I’m gone the two of you can keep each other safe. So please, flirt, I’ll laugh and watch you fall all over yourself.”
He was careful to rise from his seat, not wanting to push Alle away. His movements were slow as he wrapped his arms around her, giving her ample time to run if need be. “You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever known.”
Her warm arms moved around him and he could feel her steady heartbeat. The steadiness was always the clue to how she really felt. Alle could hide her emotions, but she couldn’t hide it internally. If she was jealous, he couldn’t sense it. If she had doubt, he couldn’t tell. It meant one thing. She was fine, and she meant every word she said.
“I do hope I’m unlike the other women you’ve met. They don’t need to survive what I’ve lived through.” She said it quietly her head resting on his shoulder. “I want to ask one favor.”
He stilled as he imagined it was going to be something akin to what he was used to. She would tell him not to talk about Solan to her, or one of the many other rule’s others put on their loved ones. “Anything?”
“If anything changes, you tell me first. No more pretending everything is alright.” She looked up her smile small but honest. “I’ll probably be alright with it.”
Leaning down he kissed her, it was a soft kiss, one of many they were now experts in. Anthion never thought I’d feel as grateful as he was right then. While he was still figuring out his emotions, it was good to know he wasn’t going to destroy anything by accident.
((Mentions: @allebeithloch and @alas-ward‘s new side alt. This scene already happened, but I really wanted to share Alle’s growth over the year.))
