ineffable.

@liscoccinelle / liscoccinelle.tumblr.com

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setheverman

ok it’s happening!!! i have a terrible photo of me from a very old expired ID card… and my hair is not shaved in this photo…

this is wild… i am STILL being spammed with HUNDREDS of people telling me to post the picture EVEN THOUGH I HAVE FUCKING POSTED THE PICTURE ALREADY DO YOU GUYS NOT KNOW HOW TO SEARCH FOR THINGS ON THIS WEBSITE JUST LET THIS POST DIE ALREADY PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU

what the fuck dude

You look like my plumber

no offence but that’s the funniest thing anyone has ever commented on my posts

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i love experiencing how my classmates work to avoid misgendering me. for instance, today one classmate greeted the rest of our small group: “All right ladies and gentlemen — and Avery”

another time a classmate went: “Pardon me, ma’am — uh, sir, uh….esteemed one”

and, my absolute fave: “Hey ladies! — and gentleThem”

i love these moments both because they’re humorous and because they show how hard these folks are trying! it’s not about getting it right every time at first, but consistently correcting yourself!

It’s not about getting it right every time at first, but consistently correcting yourself!

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ATTENTION NYC FOLKS: In case you haven’t noticed, it’s very cold outside. The city has issued a Code Blue Weather Emergency, which means no one who is homeless and seeking shelter will be denied. Should you see an individual who appears to be homeless and in need out in the cold, please call 311, give a description of the person and the location, and an outreach team will be dispatched to assist. You don’t have to do anything else but call. You don’t need to approach the person, or wait for anyone to arrive. Just #Call311

Whether you are in NYC now or not, please copy/paste/share! It doesn’t take much effort on your part and could immensely help those in need.

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Bitch WHAT THE FUCK

what the FUCK

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emiria

???!!!!??

Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck

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exomoon

i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes

I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY

So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in?

MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND.

THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC.

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quousque

???? what??? the fuck???????

“Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first. 

Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK”

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spocksplum

Mmm bruh this guy needs to be arrested by wizard police for violation of the statute of secrecy

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partytilfajr

“Opposites attract” should be reserved for like “she’s messy and he’s neat!” Not like “she’s supportive and he’s a soul-sucking toxic person!”

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spiritualsun

I have never reblogged anything so fast

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comment s’appelle un chien qui vend des médicaments?

un pharmachien

why the fuck is this joke in french and why there is 26k notes am i missing something important

OH MY GOD

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prvttymlm

straight culture is that trope in dog movies where the male owner has a crush on a girl and the girl has a female dog that the male owner’s male dog has a crush on

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For that "glitch in the matrix" thing going around

Not me, but my mom.

In 1972, she ran away from home. She was gone for several months, and when she got home my grandmother started shaking her and screaming about how someone had told her my mother had no shoes and my grandmother was sure it meant my mom was dead.

She finally calms down, and they piece it together: my grandmother had gotten a phone call from someone who breathed two or three times, said “Cathy’s in bare feet,” and hung up. Except that’s not what they said–my grandmother had written the date in on her calendar, and on that date my mother was in Bare Feet, Arizona. She knew definitively that she was in Bare Feet because on that date she called home to talk to my grandfather, who told her Uncle Jim had died–“got himself shot”–and that she had missed the funeral. Ready for the glitch in the matrix part? Here we go:

–My grandfather had no recollection of the conversation–which would have been a strange conversation indeed, since Uncle Jim was still alive and, in fact, didn’t die until 2009, eight years after my grandfather. However, my mom did miss the funeral, thanks to a delayed flight. Cause of death? Supposedly, it was suicide, but there were enough indications for the family to believe that was a pile of horseshit, not least that shooting himself in the head with the rifle indicated would’ve been near-impossible.

–My mom was going by the name Patricia Danko when she was on the run–she had a fake ID and everything. She hadn’t called herself “Cathy” since leaving home and nobody knew she was traveling under an alias.

–According to my mom, she never gave a name for herself–either Patricia or Cathy–when she was in Bare Feet, and she would’ve had no reason to. Bare Feet had maybe a hundred people in it, and they were just stopping for food and gas.

–This isn’t just an account from my mother–my dad was with her at the time, and he remembers both the phone call and the truckstop.

But that’s not the weirdest nor the creepiest part, which is this:

–I’ve been trying for three years to find Bare Feet, Arizona–on the Internet, on old maps, by talking to old Arizona cowboys, and there was never a Bare Feet, Arizona. My mom convinced my dad to drive “through Bare Feet” on the way back from Texas in 2013 and there was no town anywhere along the highway, not even the abandoned bones of one. I’ve looked for Bare Feet, Barefeet, Bear Feet, Bare Feat, Bare Foot, Barefoot, and Bear Foot. None of these exist.

My mother stopped in a town that doesn’t exist, ate in a restaurant that never was, made a phone call that could not have happened and was apparently answered by a ghost from 40 years in the future, and later that night someone called my grandmother from a number that turned up on her phone bill only as a pay phone in Arizona to say that single sentence, “Cathy’s in Bare Feet.”

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sigilseer

I didn’t initially want to reblog things here, but this is just too far up my alley. I think I’ll start collecting stories of incidents like this, weirdling magic at its most potent.

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jigsawfalls

isn’t it funny how despacito, a song that directly mentions puerto rico in its chorus and is sung in spanish, tied for the longest song to hold #1 on the hot 100 this summer, but now that puerto rico is in dire need of help america doesn’t give a shit. america will eat up your music and culture but the second you need help they turn a blind eye. did i say funny i meant fucking despicable

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thesofthuman

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

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