Sailor Crystal of Salt

Its a very hot day today which means Sugar was throwing a huge chicken tantrum intill i let her sit in the sink for a bit. She is so weird!

geralt : i need your help

jaskier : fINE

Gays not knowing strap means gun and straights not knowing strap means strap on has been the funniest miscommunication on the Internet so far

“Get the strap!”

‘relationships are work’ means ‘you have to put effort into loving each other intentionally & learning how to love each other and communicating properly’ not ‘your relationship makes you feel stressed and sad most of the time & the other person disrespects you and treats you bad but you stay anyway’

caffeine is like a drink that makes you scared

I’m queueing this for September 21st

Okay I hate retail but shoutout to my boss for not being a giant dick which includes:

• taking us all out for dinner and drinks tonight to thank us for dealing with the first week of December rush

• a guy sexually harassed me at work and I laughed it off but the boss had him banned from the entire mall premises

• he’s kicked people out permanently for yelling at me and coworkers

• i have a driving lesson in the middle of a shift next week and he’s coming in on his day off to cover it for me

• he buys us coffee from the local cafe every morning bc “how the fuck could we survive customers without it”

like thanks for making retail slightly less shitty bro

• has started hostile warfare with the shop across from us because they’re homophobic to the sweetest barista there who came out as lesbian, so he lets her hang out with us on all her breaks and also hung up pride flags in direct view of them and overall does his best to undermine them in any way possible

your boss sounds awesome

his name is Luigi which makes this 100% funnier

DreamWorks’ Shrek was first released on May 18th, 2001.

Happy birthday you big stupid ugly ogre

THE SONG WAS AN ACCIDENT ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME

THIS PICTURE JUST MADE MY LIFE.