I’m calling this segment

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Just Ace Things *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I like this art. I agree with it. I am following you.

“The human equivalent of stepping in a puddle with socks on” that is the greatest insult ever and also great point and wonderful art

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

man i fucking love this long ass post about why doofenshmirtz should be able to date perry the platypus.

I forgot the theme of this post so many times until it was brought back up 😅

This ride is a roller coaster of awesome

I was WAY too invested in this post 😂😂😂

It gets better when you realize that doofensmertz is like… all of us. A barely held together pile of nerosis and issues who really just wants to do his evil doer thing and be proud in his work. He’s searching through his mess of a life for just a scrap of actual approval. Perry is aware of that and let’s him be proud before he wrecks shit. Because he should be legit proud of his inators. They rock, it’s just the part where he was being evil that Perry needed to stop . He gives him a chance, and when he makes the wrong choice he stops him, but he never like shames him. .

So he sits there and is as impressed as Perry can be , and it helps the evil scientist rethink his path in life. Those moment of a person not shaming him but not letting him hurt others makes him able to reflect after a while and he starts to do good.

It’s sorta amazing.

Alright, alright, i got it! you didnt have to make me cry tho 😭😭😭 @pandoraships

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway 

man i fucking love this long ass post about why doofenshmirtz should be able to date perry the platypus.

I forgot the theme of this post so many times until it was brought back up 😅

This ride is a roller coaster of awesome

I was WAY too invested in this post 😂😂😂

Kirishima sighed as he got onto his bed, finally done moisturizing himself after his long shower and was now pulling on his fuzziest slippers.

It was finally time for his long awaited self care night that had been implemented by Mina months ago and now got into the swing of things. Now that it was time for it, he wondered what he should do first.

He decided to play some music first and went over to his boombox, shuffling through his many tapes and finding his long worn out Prince box and dumped the tape out into his hand, popping it into the empty cartridge.

After closing it, he pressed play and was greeted by the sound of Prince’s beautiful voice filling his ears. He smiled, walking over to his drawer and pulled out a jar of clay peel off masks, gifted by Aoyama, and a brush to apply it with.

He sat in front of his long mirror, the hardwood floor cold against his bare legs as he was wearing shorts that were a little too short to walk around in, as told to him by Iida.

But here in the comfort of his own dorm, he wore them without a care! It was also paired with a worn out Queen shirt, one of many.

He grabbed a ponytail holder and put his hair into a high ponytail, and looked in the mirror with a smile. It was long enough now in his second year that the end of it hit above the middle of his back.

He grabbed the jar of clay mask and opened it, dipping the brush in the grey goo and applying some to his nose first.

Then it branched off to his cheeks, down to his chin, around his eyes, and finally stopped at his forehead. He scanned all around his face and was satisfied when he didn’t see any empty spots.

He grabbed his frozen gel packs shaped to look like cucumbers, leaned back against his bed and put them over his eyes, sighing at the relief.

It was silent enough even with the Prince music playing softly in the background, that began to get lost in thought.

He thought about the weekend, since today was Friday, he didn’t have anything on the agenda until Sunday, when he went on their weekly roller skating trip around town and practicing their double dutching, coming with them this time was Denki since he said he wanted to join last time.

As he thought harder, he suddenly remembered something.

He was supposed to be going with Bakugou to his house because his mom wanted to see them!

He thanked the metaphorical train of thought currently going around his head, he would’ve forgotten and looked dumb when he wasn’t ready to leave.

He knew how Bakugou got about being on time for things, Kirishima always told him that the blonde always seemed like he was running out of time.

His thoughts were brought back to the outside world, when he became suddenly aware of the clay mask tightening on his face.

And the sudden knocking at his door, Kirishima almost didn’t answer because it was his time right now and didn’t want to be dragged into some kind of activity tonight.

But what if the person needed help?

There was another knock and in a split second, his vanity was outweighed by his need to be helpful, much to the dismay of the three vanity cells in his brain.

“Coming!” He got up, taking the gel packs off his eyes and padding over to the door, the redhead putting a hand on the door and opening it.

And there was his boyfriend, Bakugou standing in front of him with a blank expression on his face.

“Need something, Honey?” Kirishima lifted an eyebrow, if it weren’t for his chest rising and falling, Kirishima would’ve thought he kicked the bucket standing up.

After a moment of silence, Kirishima was going to shut the door but a hand stopped the door, which made him open it again.

Ok, now he was a little frustrated, if Bakugou was going to sit there like the cutest gaping goldfish he’s ever seen, then he could get back to what he was doing uninterrupted.

“Can I come in?” Bakugou finally spoke, Kirishima noticed how breathless it sounded. Was he running here or something? He didn’t smell any excess of caramel sweat more than the average amount.

“Uh..sure!” He opened his door wider for Bakugou to come in and closed the door behind him, Bakugou sitting on his bed and Kirishima sitting on the bed next to him. The floor was getting kind of uncomfortable anyways.

“So like, is there something you needed? Or did you just come to check up on me?” He teased, knowing Bakugou would never admit to it out loud even if Kirishima already knew.

Bakugou shook his head, opening his mouth to say something but growled when nothing would come out.

“Can I do that too?” He said after a minute, Kirishima’s eyebrows jumped in surprise. It wasn’t long before a giant smile graced his cheeks.

Bakugou most likely thought he was going to say no since the slightly relieved look in his eye told him so.

Kirishima wasted no time in grabbing his clay mask and a new application brush, as not to spread potential germs.

Speaking of germs, he sanitized his hands before making his way back to Bakugou with items in tow.

He sat on the bed, instructing Bakugou to put his head in his lap, making the blonde blush a bit. Bakugou did as he was told, spiky hair making contact with his thighs which kind of tickled a bit.

In the silence of him focusing on opening the jar, he heard the song Kiss playing, one of his favorite prince songs.

Now he was in an awesome mood, a smile stretching across his lips as he stared down at the boy in his lap. Dipping the brush in the grey goop, he spread it across his nose which wrinkled, most likely because it was cold.

It was almost like painting a canvas, mesmerized by the way it glided so smoothly across his cheeks and down his cheek, which hadn’t been cleared of acne but that didn’t make him any less of a damn knockout.

He had been so focused on application, that he hadn’t noticed Bakugou staring intensely at him until they made eye contact.

Kirishima blushed under his mask, which was more than dry by now, but he could deal with that in a minute, he was working with highly explosive merchandise.

Really fucking gorgeous merchandise.

He continued, dipping the brush into the goop and spreading it across his forehead, somewhere in his mind a voice said ‘simba’ which made him snort.

Kirishima applied the last coat of mask to his forehead and being satisfied when he checked to see he didn’t miss any spots.

He almost spoke but realized he heard soft snoring from Bakugou’s mouth, which made him cry a bit internally because he was so damn cute and relaxed.

He had to take off the mask and moisturize his face but....it could wait a little bit.

——-

A late birthday gift for the amazing @leal-5 ! Happy late birthday!! 💕💕

WHY THE FUCK AM I JUST NOW SEEING THIS?!?!?! FUCKINF TUMBLR DOESNT NOTIFY ME FOR SHIT!!! THIS WAS SO FUCKING CUTE LIKE DAMN IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS OF BAKUGOU LIKE I WANNA LAY IN KIRIS LAP AND GET FACE MASKED!!! SCOOCH OVER!!!! MOVE!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm still sick but not dead!!!

Tw gun use, blood and violence, cursing

Art belongs to @leal-5

Kirishima had to hold the phone away from his here in fear of going deaf because of Bakugou’s yelling through the speaker.

“Dude relax! I should be home in time for studying..” Kirishima waited for a money, “..in the next week and a half.” Kirishima smiled sheepishly even though Bakugous couldn’t see it.

He heard Bakugou take a large deep breath before he released inferno through the speaker. Kirishima sighed, usually he was the one yelling at Bakugou to be more careful cause even though he’s smart, he still has the emotional sense of a burned pop tart.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Bakugou stopped his rampage of words and finally spoke a coherent sentence.

He mumbled under his breath where he was but Bakugou yelled at him told him to speak up.

“In the hospital. I- uh got shot.” Kirishima laughed nervously into the phone.

The phone went silent for a second, Kirishima had a feeling he was going to be hung out to dry any second.

“I want you tell me EXACTLY what happened.” Bakugou sounded like he was grinding his teeth, and Kirishima almost could see the vein his neck that threatened to burst every time he was about to explode.

“Well..”

———

Kirishima relished in the cold air of of the convient store, breathing a sigh and waving at the attendant behind the desk with a big smile.

He whistled a small, chipper tune to himself as he grabbed the drinks his friends requested that were written on a list (otherwise he would have been in here for hours trying to figure out what they wanted)

His whistling stopped when he heard a large commotion from the front of the store, sounds of panicked screams and a bit crying clouded over the once calm atmosphere.

“If everyone isn’t on the ground in five seconds, I’ll put a bullet in each one of your heads!” A gruff man’s voice came from the front of the store that boomed in Kirishima’s ears.

“Take it easy! We’ll cooperate! Just don’t hurt these kids!”

“Im wielding a gun in your face! You think I give a shit about hurting a kid?”

Kirishima’s face lost it’s color, but he quickly and quietly put down the stuff in his hands on the ground and snuck is way around one of the aisles.

As he made his way around the aisles, he saw the guy, he was rather tall for a robber, but really thin, one breath and he’d blow away.

Luckily the guy’s back was facing him, the guy having rallied everyone in the store to get near the the register with their hands on their heads and sit on their knees.

Kirishima’s heart broke as he saw the guy waving a gun in a well dressed business man’s face, his 3 kids and who he assumed was his pregnant wife watching with horror as the guy tries reasoning with them. Near the back of the group was a ancient looking man, Kirishima assuming the kid next to him was his granddaughter.

There were two other teenagers, one with long brown hair and one with a bruised eye and a healing cut down his cheek, like he just got into a fight recently.

And last but not least, the store attendant was still stuck behind the counter.

He made eye contact with one of the kids, Kirishima held a finger up to his mouth to make sure she wouldn’t make a sound and give away is position.

He slowly made his way towards the guy, hardening his fist to see if he could clock him in the head to knock him out.

Kirishima’s shoes squeaked, his face dropping when the guy turned around quickly, a shot ringing out in the air but it was silent in his ears.

Assuming the guy missed, Kirishima ran towards him, and before he could shoot again, landed a well placed solid punch to his cheek, the guy not putting up his hands to deflect it as he fell the to the floor.

The business guy moved out of the to make sure the guy didn’t land on him.

“Are all of you alright?” Kirishima flipped the guy on his front, putting his hands behind his back to restrain him as the teen with the long hair frantically called the police and an ambulance.

The pregnant woman was trying to console her crying children and the grandfather was holding his granddaughter in his arms.

“Dude, we’re fine! We need to get you an ambulance! Just stay calm!” The guy with the bruised eye was trying to calm him down for some reason.

An ambulance?

“Why? We just need the police.” Kirishima wondered if someone was in the process of turning off the lights because it seemed to be getting really dark all of a sudden.

“Stay awake sweetheart!” His head was suddenly in the lap of the pregnant lady, she tapped his face to keep him from going out.

When did he get here? He barely even blinked.

“Just hold on, the ambulance is on its way!” A voice he couldn’t make out said to him as the business man was applying pressure to his abdomen.

Kirishima blinked away the darkness, his nose wrinkling at the smell of overwhelming metal as his tongue seemed to get stuck to the roof of his mouth as he try to tell them that he was fine.

“What’s your name?” The lady looked down at him as she tapped his face again.

“Kirishima Eijirou.”

“That’s a very nice name. It suits you.” The business guy nodded in agreement with his wife. “My name is Yua and this is my husband Hansuke.”

“Where do you go to school at, sunny boy?” The old man piped up.

“Yuuei.” It was getting a bit hard for Kirishima to talk.

“Nice school for a hero like you. What’s your hero name?” He could hear the smile in the pregnant ladies voice and that calmed him a bit.

“Red Riot.”

His shirt felt oddly stuck on his stomach which he desperately wanted to get rid of.

His eyelids felt so tired and heavy, maybe the lady wouldn’t mind if he closed his eyes just for a second. All he needed was a second.

The voices got quieter and farther always as his vision finally faded to black.

——-

“And then I woke up in the hospital! The doctor, super nice lady by the way, told me that they couldn’t remove the bullet until they find out where it’s lodged. My surgery should be in the morning though and they‘lol keep me for a week or two to make sure there are no complications.” Kirishima finally took a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, the recount made his stomach churn.

He realized he hadn’t heard anything on the line for a while and was worried Bakugou had hung up. He didn’t have to wait for long because Bakugou was opening the door to the room, phone still to his ear.

His face was scrunched up as if he was trying to keep himself from crying or something.

“You okay-“

“Shut up!” Bakugou made it over to his bed in just a few strides and enraptured him in a hug.

Kirishima reciprocated but realized his shoulder felt like there was water being spilled onto it.

“Aww baby, don’t cry. Y’know I can’t stand to see you cry.” The redhead held Bakugou’s face in his his hands, landing a smooch on his forehead.

“I’m not fucking crying, I’m just sweating through my eyes.” The blonde wiped his eyes with his jacket sleeve but more tears still came raining down his cheeks.

“Yeah, and the Easter bunny is real. These are things we know are lies.” Another kiss was planted on Bakugou, this time on the tip of his nose.

“We’re never letting you go to the store again.” Bakugou sounded like he would make that a reality.

“We?”

“Everyone saw the news on tv, those bastards are coming tomorrow though.” Bakugou grabbed remote on the night stand and turned on the tv an switched it to the news.

“Local student at Yuuei High school named Kirishima Eijirou has saved the lives of 11 people including an unborn women’s child as he took a shot to the abdomen.” There was footage of him being wheeled out on a stretcher and the guy being walking in hand cuffs, a good portion of his face was swollen.

“Fuck! Look at his face!” Bakugou laughed which made Kirishima smile.

“What do you have to say to the people at home?” The news reporter held the microphone to a shaken but okay store cashier.

“If it werent for the courage of this kid that just seemed to come out of thin air, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”

“We all just wanna thank this kid personally, he not only save my life but saved my and other people’s families. I’ll never be able to thank him enough.”

“Red riot is fucking awesome!”

“That boy will be a promising hero one day, I guarantee it!”

Kirishima was almost moved to tears by the words but his face started to flush from the compliments first.

Part 2

“I wonder where Kirishima is? He hasn’t answered any of my texts and he’s been gone for like an hour!” Mina looked a bit high strung for such a usually chipper person.

“He’s probably fine! Y’know how he is, he’s probably helping someone’s grandma crossing the street or saving a kitten from a tree before he comes back.” Sero was sitting upside on the couch, along with the rest of the class who gathered in the common room for separate activities to do with each other.

“Besides, he’s a pretty strong guy. If anything did happen to him, he’d be fine. Unless it’s like I don’t know, a bullet or something? If he doesn’t harden before the bullet hits him, he’d be pretty screwed.” Kaminari threw down a +4, Bakugou angrily drawing four cards while Momo, Jirou and Todoroki breathed a sigh that it wasn’t them that got it.

“Breaking News!” A reporter showed up during a program Aoyama and Tooru were watching, Project Runway and it was down to the last two.

“A shooting has taken place at Musustafa corner shop. We’ve received word that only one person has been shot, a kid with..” The reporter seemed to be listening to his ear piece.

“Isn’t That where Kirishima went?” Ochako went ghostly white, everyone along with her clamoring around the tv.

“.. Spiked Red hair. His name has been revealed to be Kirishima Eijirou and adopted son of famous Radio Host and Pro Hero Present Mic, underground hero Eraserhead, and Pro Hero Loud Cloud. He has been shot once in the abdomen, saving the lives 11 people including one unborn child.”

Everyone turned to Denki, the blonde almost bursting into tears. “This is all my fault! I spoke it into existence!”

The class looked in horror as Kirishima was being wheeled out on a stretcher, a emt applying pressure to his stomach as the redhead seemed to be passed out, either from shock or blood loss.

Most likely the latter since his shirt was soaked in his dark red blood.

Before anyone could move, Todoroki and Shinsou dashed out of the common room, Bakugou hot on their trail.

They didn’t have a plan of how to get there but they didn’t have to wait long when they ran into Present Mic and Eraserhead already rushing out of the front door of the school.

Present Mic was repeatedly cursing under his breath while Eraserhead’s eyes looked vacant and seemed to be sweating profusely.

Loud Cloud was on a mission but most likely saw the news since he called Present Mic’s phone while he was getting into the car.

The next two hours (stupidly long traffic) were tense as Present Mic drove the himself and the other four to the hospital, his knuckles pure white on the steering wheel.

Eraserhead was busy on the phone with the Midnight, telling her to drive Eri to the hospital. She was watching Eri for the day at home since she had a vacation day off.

Todoroki was visibly shaking in his place near the window, his right side making face look frosty and his left side making his hand smoke as he tried to keep himself from setting the car on fire and freezer burn it.

Bakugou’s phone was blowing up with texts from the Bakusquad, and he was doing his best trying not to blow up his phone while he texted them back.

Suddenly he got a phone call from Kirishima himself during the first few minutes of the drive and he answered the phone with haste, putting it on speaker.

“Heyyy, Is this uh.. Bakugou?? You were the first contact in this phone in my pocket.. and (laughing) I wanted to see what you were all about. You have hearts and shit next to your name, this dude (snorting) must like you a lot cause-cause there’s like eight hearts next to this bitch. Oh man, how much fucking medicine did they give me I think I’m fucking flying or some shit??”

Shinsou was the first to let out a snort at his brothers high ass antics.

“But anyways, I’d like to order a large.. this is Pizza Hut right? Yeah I’d like one.. no two orders of Chicken nuggets and a side of um.. sprite.”

“That’s my boy.” Present Mic laughed but it still sounded a bit tense.

“Eijirou, were on our way to the hospital, just go back to sleep so you can sleep the medicine off.” Bakugou said slowly to make sure he heard him.

“I will listen to you, you hot-voiced dude who sounds weirdly like someone I know but only because the magic space glitter hamster told me to. That’s our president right? (Cough) But yeah, I’m getting tired so I’ll see you later. Or never. Who the hell is this, you fucking spies won’t catch me cause I’m James Bond in this bitch!” Kirishima hung up the phone.

Bakugou sighed, letting his heart rate slow just a bit.

I am SCREAAMMMINGGGGGGG😂😂😂😂

AND YOU CAN ALL PRY BROTHERS SHINSO TODOROKI AND KIRISHIMA OUT OF MY COLD DEAD FINGERS! IT IS NOW CANNON IN MY MIND.

SBOJFBOJSBOJBDOJDBIHBSOJDB HADJBDOJBLSJBS I LOVE THIIIIISSS MY HEART IS POUNDINNNNN