Someone save my hobo hero wife from the hiatus–

@blindfated

Less than one day left!! GREAT DAZE

✧ ( SHAMELESS SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ And what exactly does “hooked up” mean? ❜ ❛ It’s like a car wreck… you can’t not watch. ❜ ❛ What’s that smell? It’s either vomit or fancy cheese. ❜ ❛ There is no God. We’re all gonna die. ❜ ❛ The hell? You’re supposed to negotiate! ❜ ❛ If you’re looking for money, I don’t have any yet.  ❜ ❛ How do you feel about metal splinters to the eye? ❜ ❛ Are you up-to-date on your rabies shots? ❜ ❛ I don’t like that you’re getting hurt on purpose to make money. ❜ ❛ You’re kidding me? You’re actually serious about this shit? ❜ ❛ You’re kinda growing on me. ❜ ❛ Wanna see how fast I can unhook your bra? ❜ ❛ You make my life a living hell and I want you out of here now. ❜ ❛ Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜ ❛ You’re nothing but a warm mouth to me. ❜ ❛ I think I’m depressed. I’ve been feeling kind of funky lately. ❜ ❛ I never said it was yours. You just wanted it to be. ❜ ❛ Wouldn’t be the first time somebody’s disappointed me. ❜ ❛ I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just… genetic. ❜ ❛ Fuck you is what you were invited to. ❜ ❛ I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pussy you’d be in juvie. ❜ ❛ I want normal people problems. Like, am I getting enough fiber? ❜ ❛ Hey, I think I just insulted myself. ❜ ❛ Hey! What the fuck man! He’s/she’s dead! ❜ ❛ Oh, could you be a little more vague? ❜ ❛ You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes? ❜ ❛ How the fuck do you not have a gun? ❜ ❛ Sure you’re ready to pop your armed robbery cherry? ❜ ❛ You should have seen your face. ❜ ❛ You don’t know who you messed with, bitch. ❜ ❛ You fuck with the bull, you get an ass full of horns! ❜ ❛ I’m not used to having people yell at me all day long. ❜ ❛ I have this friend. I think you two might really hit it off. ❜ ❛ I’ve seen you put out after the first drink. ❜ ❛ You know, I’d hug you but neither of us would like that. ❜ ❛ I don’t get why just don’t use her/his face for target practice. ❜ ❛ I want a fucking lawyer motherfucker! ❜ ❛ You’re covering your own ass and you know it. ❜ ❛ You know I used a condom. ❜ ❛ Do you know where I can buy a gun? ❜ ❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch! ❜ ❛ I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. ❜ ❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜ ❛ They’re having a party for kids across the street. No booze. ❜ ❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜ ❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you! ❜ ❛ Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜ ❛ I can’t handle anything up my ass without alcohol! ❜ ❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜ ❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜ ❛ I would never do half the shit that you’ve done to us. Why are you even here? ❜ ❛ Even the homeless get better stuff than us. ❜ ❛ I am just as likely as anyone of this family to make something of myself. ❜ ❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day.  ❜ ❛ You have no money yet you’re going into a grocery store. Interesting. ❜ ❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜ ❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜ ❛ If this is a relationship you wanna save, then you gotta fucking save it. ❜ ❛ Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? ❜ ❛ I’m probably biased, you deserve better than him. ❜ ❛ If you don’t get out right now, I will shoot you. ❜ ❛ Still don’t want your family to know? ❜ ❛ Did I mention that I’m falling in love with you? ❜ ❛ You can’t feel a persons headache by touching his head. ❜ ❛ Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun? ❜ ❛ How can you tell when you’re in love with someone? ❜ ❛ Is that supposed to be some kind of insult? ❜ ❛ I’m done living the way other people want me to live. ❜ ❛ I think I was trying to prove something, not to you but to myself.  ❜ ❛ If it wasn’t sex then what was the problem? ❜ ❛ What do you want me to say? That I’m self-destructive? ❜ ❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜ ❛ I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you, so yes I remember. ❜ ❛ Your turf? What is this West Side Story? ❜ ❛ All I’m gonna be thinking about while you choke me out is how much I love you. ❜ ❛ If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. ❜ ❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜ ❛ I don’t wanna be me anymore. ❜ ❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜ ❛ I’ve had so many abortions the next one is free. ❜ ❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜ ❛ How do you do that? The nice thing? ❜ ❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow. ❜ ❛ I never thought I’d say this but you were right. ❜ ❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜ ❛ I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! ❜ ❛ I’m sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste just in case. ❜ ❛ I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. ❜ ❛ I’ve never seen you put on deodorant before. ❜ ❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days…well granted I was unconscious. ❜ ❛ I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you. ❜ ❛ Is there anything more enjoyable on earth than humiliating your peers? ❜ ❛ I need to buy a gun. For protection. In case there’s a shooting here. I’m scared. ❜ ❛ It’s my job to tell you when you’re making a huge mistake. ❜ ❛ Have you ever woken up naked in the street with no idea how you got there? ❜ ❛ You’re either boning or you’re waiting to bone. ❜ ❛ Doctors are thieves, they just have degrees to keep them out of jail. ❜ ❛ You want me to be realistic? Okay, I’ll be realistic. ❜ ❛ I confided in you and you told everyone. ❜ ❛ I have no idea what that means but I’m enjoying trying to picture it. ❜ ❛ I never made any fucking promises to you! ❜

I  will  choose  their  happiness  over  mine

   ———-      EVERY TIME.

Sophia Carey (via wordsnquotes)

Overcome the Impossible

valkiriya: