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❛ ᴜɴᴏғғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ғɪʀsᴛ ʟᴀᴅʏ.

@unimaginablestrength-blog / unimaginablestrength-blog.tumblr.com

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  this is a RELATIONSHIP ROLL CALL tbh!! by liking or commenting on this post, you give me permission to love you down lol. whether our muses see each other as enemies, friends, lovers or family --- that will be decided between us. i’m really starting to get back into the swing of things and want to be more active, so i thought that i would post this if anyone is interested in plotting with me formerly theunofficialfirstlady.

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Things I’ve Heard at Thanksgiving Dinner Meme

“[insert politician/political movement/bird migration] is ruining our economy.”

“They’re not usually this crazy.”

“Pass the tofu.”

“Is this a real turkey?”

“DONT PUT YOUR FACE IN THE PIE! too late…..”

“I’m thankful for [insert thing]”

“Your children are evil.”

“Grab that kid!”

“Damn it [football player], grab the damn ball!”

“Turn the football game down.”

“Who’s going to say the blessing?”

“Good friends, good meat, good God, lets eat.”

“What’s a giblet?”

“I am not putting my hand in a turkey’s butt.”

“Get your hand out of that thing’s butt.”

“The fryer caught on fire.”

“I rubbed so much butter on his butt.“

“THANKS OBAMA!”

“Why can’t I eat in the attic?”

“Can we go home now?”

“Pilgrims didn’t really wear black and white.”

“Princess Leia was not a pilgrim.”

“Pass the cranberry sauce.”

“Its not blood, its turkey guts.”

“You look like you murdered someone.”

“If we all survive this, it will be a miracle.”

“How many relatives do we have again?”

“I can’t eat another bite….. DESERT.”

“I’m stuffed like a turkey.”

“Time to leave.”

“Are you sure we’re related.”

“We’ve never met.”

“Where’s your [girlfriend/boyfriend]”

“When I was your age……”

“[relative] is talking about being ‘our age’ again.”

“When are you getting married.”

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Thanksgiving Gone Wrong Starters

"There's no way this bird is fitting in that oven."
"Do I look like I know how to cook?"
"Here, help me get this cornish hen inside the turkey. I want to convince my sister the turkey was pregnant."
"If I hear one more Christmas song I'm going to throttle someone."
"My family made it a whole ten minutes before arguing this year."
"Backyard football got a little heated, can you meet me at the ER?"
"I need you to run back to the store."
"You didn't tell me that I had to kill the turkey!"
"I think the stuffing is laced with drugs."
"I don't think my mom has caught on yet that my brother's roommate is his boyfriend yet. She's letting them share a room."
"Don't you think it's a little racist the neighbors dress up their kids as Native Americans?"
"I'm lost somewhere between the dairy aisle and the end of the check-out line."
"Oh my God, I hate your family."
"I can't tell if your grandma is asleep on the couch or dead."
"What asshole decided to hold the election right before a major family holiday?"
"No, really, the bed in my room is too small to fuck on. It's like my parents are trying to sabotage me."
"The line for the bathroom is 12 deep."
"I'm still at the airport."
"Why do I smell something burning -- oh."
"You can't use fireworks to cook!"
"The turkey hotline blocked my number."
"Why is your head in the turkey?!"
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            “ do you ever regret having me? ”
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                ' judy, why would you think that i would ever regret having you? ‘ although she had originally taken pills at the farm, lori was grateful for the fact that she decided to spit them up. lori had almost died bringing her daughter into the world but in her opinion, it was worth it because her daughter would survive. ‘ i don’t, i never have. ‘ she loved judith just as much as she loved carl and would do her very best to keep them safe. ‘ i’ve made a lot of mistakes but having you was not one of them. ‘

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