MiddleEarth by  LastStudio

“My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.” Tallulah Bankhead

Armani Details

“I’ve always found it difficult to just stand there and have my photo taken. I need direction, a situation beyond Love me, love me, I’m so cool. Give me something more to do. I’m an actor.” -Mads Mikkelsen

Liveblogging: Rewatching Trigun (Ep. 1-3)

I just started rewatching Trigun after 4 or 5 years away, and have SO many thoughts and feels. Obviously, I must share them with you all.

Unfortunately, I watched the first 2 episodes before I started this blog, so this probably won't get interesting until episode 3.

I'm gonna try to avoid spoilers. Sorry if I accidentally reveal something.

Episodes 1-2

-- Intro: That plant bulb behind the 2 guns is perfect

-- I forgot what the intro music was like. It's pretty good. Not Cowboy Bebop level, but catchy, and it gets the gunslinging feel across.

-- Literally LOL'ing at Vash watching the gunmen, each thinking the other is him.

-- Literally LOL'ing at Vash running alongside the Thomas gobbling donuts while Meryl tries to snatch them back. Their faces, OMG.

-- Meryl speaks in aphorisms? Haven't seen it in fic before, but this is my new headcanon.

Outro:

1) The lyrics sound like they were written from Vash's POV. He's talking about how much he loves drifting around, enjoying the wind and the sun and the grass under his feet and sleeping contentedly. The background shows him eating and sleeping in a hammock.

2) This must be how he keeps up his hope and happiness instead of falling into despair. Enjoying all these small moments of beauty and peace.

3) Wait, this is the guy who can only meditate for 3 seconds? Or was it 3 minutes? Either way, the idea seemed to be that he's too restless to sit still with his eyes closed...but he's also the *king* of being in the moment and disciplining his mind. Guess he doesn't know any activity can be a meditation? Sorry, this has been bothering me. A lot.

4) It's so clever how they only show his left arm in every picture, but it looks so natural I didn't even notice the first time I watched.

Episode 3

1) Vash collides with Frank Marlon...and of course falls in the Thomas trough, lol. I expected him not to blame Frank or get angry, but I also expected him to apologize. He doesn't get angry but he also doesn't apologize. So, for once, he doesn't take the blame, which is only fair because Frank actually fell into him. But he's weirdly resistant to buying the guy a drink? Why is he freaking out so much?

2) Or maybe he just likes wrestling?

3) Meryl speaking in wise quotations again. "People only drown themselves in alcohol because there's something they want to forget. It's an escape from reality." How does she know?

4) BRB speculating on Meryl's childhood and family life.

5) Is Vash really too drunk to realize the disgusted bartender just threw his gun at his head?

6) Frank Marlon's philosophy: I help one person, I hurt someone else... "so I decided to do nothing." He's not so different from Vash underneath, is he?

(Vash is never proactive, he just finds where trouble is already happening and stops it. If he had his way, there'd be no plot at all).

7) "Why worry about other people's money?" Fair question. It's not like he cares about propety damage. Of course it's not about the $$$, he just doesn't want to see people bullied.

8) LOVE seeing the whole town step up. But...everyone in "this peaceful town" just happens to be carryinig a weapon??? Even that little kid is walking around with a police baton???

9) Did Vash just throw up at will because he didn't want to give his name?

10) How drunk does Vash get, actually? He went from sounding perfectly clear and coherent while talking to Frank Marlon to suddenly throwing up.

I see conflicting ideas about Vash's alcohol tolerance relative to the average human. My headcanon is that he's much less sensitive than the average person. He's acting drunk less because of the alcohol and more by letting go of his usual self-control and feeding off the energy of the people he's drinking with...but that's a longer post for another day.

I haven't watched the anime in years. I saw the anime before I read the manga, but once I read the manga, that became my canon, and the anime got left to gather dust on the shelf a bit. I do remember that when I rewatched the anime, I usually skipped the first two episodes. They play entirely on the idiot goon persona of Vash, and don't even start to get into who he is underneath that. Ep 3 is the one where we get that initial glimpse that there's a hell of a lot more to him, and that's where my interest lies! everyone in “this peaceful town” just happens to be carryinig a weapon??? I think the problem with living in the Trigun universe, is that while you might be peaceful, there are a lot of people out there who aren't. So I can buy that everyone is armed and ready for self-defence, when you never know who's going to roll into town tomorrow. Vash is never proactive, he just finds where trouble is already happening and stops it. Yep. Vash drags quite enough trouble around with him without actively going out looking for more! But he's also utterly incapable of seeing people being mistreated and not stepping in to try and fix it, and there are lot of nasty people in the Trigun world, so it's not like he has go very far to fall over it. I definitely think Vash uses alcohol as part of his cover persona - it's easy to pass yourself off as a friendly, dumb drunk if that's what people are expecting to see. It clearly has some effect on him though, because later we see him drinking with Wolfwood when it's the just the two of them out in the desert, so he must like the effect it has on his brain the same way the humans do. Whether his physiology means it takes more or less of it to get him drunk, I think that's entirely open. Wow, I probably haven't talked about Trigun in a decade, fun!

Heck yeah! I love me some Trigun. I need to watch it again, been about 3 years since I last did.

Currently at a solid 4 years and counting. I blame Mads and Hugh and everyone who brought this stupid pair to the stupidest show ever that I will forever love and go down with this ship always. 😭

person: i really like you.

½ of me: why?

the other ½: of course you do, bitch i’m amazing

Villain: “You and I are very much alike, you know.”

Hero: “I realize that.”

Villain: “Doesn’t that trouble you?”

Hero: “Why would it? I share most of my genome with sewer rats.”

Villain: “But our similarities mean that, deep down, you’re a bad person. There’s nothing stopping you from being just as evil as I am!”

Hero: “Sure there is. I’m stopping me.”

Villain: “But in your heart you crave—”

Hero: “Sometimes when I’m in a crowded building I get the sudden urge to just boop a stranger right on the nose. But I don’t do it, because that would be super rude and weird. Does having that compulsion in the first place make me just as much of a weirdo as if I had acted on it? Maybe it does in your eyes, but to the would-be boopee, it makes all the difference in the world.”

Villain: “We’re not talking about booping noses, we’re talking about killing peop—”

Me: “Look, dude, I’m sure murder can be really satisfying. But I’ve decided that I don’t want to murder people, and I think that’s very sexy of me. Look at me. With a little self-restraint, you might have had what I have.”

i love this. the hero turning the "we're not so different" speech back on the villain

“I’m not like you. You’re like me.”

Hero: "Wow, It's gonna be difficult redemption arc but taking the first step and acknowledging that we aren't so different is a lot of progress. Proud of you."

Villain: "Wait. No."

Hero: "Our support group meets on Wednesdays. Don't feel like you have to bring anything your first time, but I'm bringing lasagna."

First day of life up until 6th grade 

Jumped all the way to Freshman year of High School

Then I cut my hair Junior year, why did I do that

Slowly it started growing back and then….

I finally felt comfortable to express myself (the picture on the left was my debut)

At this point in my transition I am 6 months into HRT

A year on HRT

Over a year and a half on hormones. My transition hasn’t been the clearest path but I am so happy that I am on it.

Update:

2 years since my coming out 

2 years on hrt

2.3 years on hrt

2 and a half years on hormones 

Its been a while since I’ve done an update so here it goes

At this point I am 3 years into my Hormone Replacement Therapy. I’m thriving. 

These pictures were taken days apart and I am 3 and a half years into my medical transition (The picture on the right was also posted by Instagram on all their major social media handles attached with an interview I did with them for International Women’s Month)

During this time I was 4 years into HRT. Clearly living for it.

I am currently 4 and a half years into HRT, 5 years into socially transitioning, 6 years into when i first came out to my community around me and I’m loving life more than I ever thought I would. 

Lil mini update!! It’s my 5 years on hormones and I think that’s quite the milestone to be proud of so here’s some pics since the last update.

Can’t wait to see how the next 5 years go!

New Update!!

Today is my 6 years on HRT! Half a dozen years seems like it went by a lot faster than i thought it would but I’m so grateful for the place that I’m in both with my appearance and my perception of myself. I feel a confidence I never thought I could achieve.

me, every time i see this thread: oh god she’s so pretty

me, still scrolling: oh god she’s so pretty

me, at the end: oh god she’s so pretty

A QUEEN

OH MY GOD SHES SO PRETTY AHHHISKDBS

She is a gorgeous queen!

Fanfiction Writer Asks

Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

7) When is your preferred time to write?

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?

9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?

10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?

44) What is the last line you wrote?

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Come at me, bros. Keep me company while I write words.