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Teeth Licker

@prurientpuddlejumper / prurientpuddlejumper.tumblr.com

Monsterfucker | Lover of Crispy Chilton | NSFW | Fic Masterlist | Gifs Masterlist
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idk who this advice is for, but if you have an aging grandparent who is losing their hearing, text notes on your phone work great! You can make the font huge & it's easier than scribbling on a whiteboard!

Last time I visited my grandma, I saved this last message to her in the notes app, because I had a feeling it might be the last time I saw her.

It was.

Seeing this hits different now. I only wish I'd thought of doing it sooner, because for a couple of years she's been withdrawn when I'd visit, because she couldn't follow conversations. I did finally realize her vision was good & I could write stuff down, but my handwriting is crap lol.

Anyway. Notes app. If it's applicable to your situation at all, try it! I got to actually communicate with my grandma again before she passed, and I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it years ago.

#loss#tw death#I guess I just never thought of using a phone with her since she doesn’t understand technology? otherwise I could have been texting her#god#teach your grandparents to text#there are so many things I could have done better#but I lived far away so it always felt out of my hands...#oh well. I guess that's just how grief is.#you think of all the stupid things you put off doing and kick yourself#I really thought it would be a relief that she wasn't suffering anymore#but instead it just sharpened focus on everything I failed to do for her when it counted
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definitelynotarabbit

I don't think we talk enough about how Stargate's wraith aka space vampires had one of the most outside the box vampire powers to ever grace TV. Like kudos to whoever said "hey fuck it we're gonna take one of the most one dimensional villain races we've ever made which can very accurately be described as space vampires and just completely blow that idea out of the water with a single scene showing that they have miles more depth than you could ever guess".

I mean come on why am I not seeing more vampire fanfic where the vamp can give life in the same manner that they can take it?! It's such a groundbreaking idea in a trope that short of this the most recent big change of pace was glitter.

That single scene where it looks like Todd just killed John but then he turns around and gives him back more years than he took? Mwah chefs kiss. Possibly the most efficient story telling I've seen.

Anyway I support queer agenda that episode suggested and am eternally devastated that Todd didn't become a Teal'c level character but with extra gay because telepathy.

#It is so gooood#and it kind of turns around that trope of the human with a vampire lover who supports him by feeding him their blood#so he doesn't have to kill#but its at the expense of the human's health so it's this whole silly self-sacrificing thing#nope#your wraith lover just has to *kill extra people* and they'll have enough life-energy to give YOU a boost!#but also the gift of life is kind of a drug & you might get addicted to it??#so much potential to explore#ALSO THE TELEPATHY#the romance novels write themselves come on
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prurientpuddlejumper

Me: Astarion isn't evil! He just doesn't like Tav putting him in danger to help strangers. He's just got trauma!

Me playing my evil run: yeah ok he's evil.

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prurientpuddlejumper

Slaughtering tiefling refugees...

Wyll: I am GONE

Karlach: I will KILL YOU

Gale: *stays only after toxic manipulation*

Shadowheart: I shouldn't be sad. Shar would be proud. Why am I sad??? *depressed drinking*

Astarion: Every time I heard the tieflings cry, I remembered how you sounded crying for me. 😏😘

#astarion is saving my sanity on this evil run#everyone else making me feel so judged lmao
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emtropi

Man it’s kinda sad how many people haven’t played bg3 and just see astarion as nothing more than a “sexy vampire female gaze bait” type character

It’s just so fucking ironic. Like that’s the whole point of the character. The whole point is that he’s fucking shallow on the surface THATS THE WHOLE POINT THATS THE WHOLEFUCKING POINT AAAAAAAAA LIKE THATS LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT NOBODY SEES HIM FOR MORE THAN HIS BODY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#WHO IS SAYING THAT?? LET ME FIGHT THEM!!!#I mean *obviously* Astarion isn't sexy vampire bait#he's poor little meowmeow he's so broken but I can fix him bait
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be-side-my-self

Made another Above the Law patch back in August, because I still had some smaller pieces of fabric after a bigger project. This one does not glow in the dark. I also used three strings of yarn (out of six) and a more coarse fabric. The pattern was created by @prurientpuddlejumper

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What is all this then
Above the Law Cross-Stitch patch with glow in the dark yarn. The pattern was created by @prurientpuddlejumper
be-side-my-self.tumblr.com
#That's awesome!!#it looks great! <3
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Astarion: I... I can't believe you would choose me 🥺 I... I'm so broken and complicated, I'm a *monster*... are you sure you really want to deal with all this?

Me: HOLY SHIT CAN I BONE THE MIND FLAYER? BABE, I GET A FREE PASS FOR TENTACLES, RIGHT? 🤤

Astarion: .... im the most normal person you've dated, aren't i? 😑

#how my bg3 playthrough is going
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Sooo does someone want to explain to Larian how snake sheds work, or should I?

#bg3#derpetology#but honestly multiple conversations lately have made me question whether it's common knowledge how skin shedding works#like... you understand they're only shedding the dead outer layer of the epidermis - right?#not their entire dermis#and that leather is made using the dermis?#you know... the thick part... above the subcutaneous fatty layer that separates skin from muscle?#I was laughing about this flavor text to a gamer friend and I... don't think she understood why armor from skin sheds wouldn't work?#there was even this person in a FORAGING GROUP who swore that rattlesnake sheds are black. Because she owns one and it's black.#sweetie. you own a rattlesnake HIDE. that is LEATHER. the snake did not naturally shed its skin with full scales attached#somebody SKINNED it#*facepalm*#(in case it really isn't common knowledge - a shed snake skin is tissue-thin crispy and transparent like rice paper.)#(MAYBE you could make armor with it if you glued hundreds of layers together like a linothorax....?)
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Dragon Prince season 5: So this shady town full of criminals is under the thumb of a guy name Finnegrin whom you do not want to cross Me: Heh. Sounds like Al Swearengen in Deadwood.

Finnegrin, appears:

Me: HOLY SHIT IT'S AL SWEARENGEN!!!!!

Finnegrin: *sounds exactly like Ian McShane* Me: !!!!!!! I'm not going crazy, right? Could this be a coincidence?

Finnegrin: and here's my bodyguard, Deadwood.

#yep ok not a coincidence XD#deadwood fans are everywhere#al swearengen#finnegrin#how about a Doc Cochran character NEXT season? XD
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