Mood: musical bootlegs with wacky titles as to throw off the copyright police

If you want to see Mean Girls look up Mean Girls Slime Tutorial.

More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

How do we explain to 40+ year olds online that you can’t just end every sentence with “…” without conveying a really ominous vibe lol.

i love that this post has informed me that thousands of other people my age are terrified by totally innocuous messages from parents, professors, and bosses. 

tag yourself im sdfghjkl rip

My OC’s when I first make them VS after I develop their backstories 

an alignment chart i made because everyone deserves some positivity

UM THAT IS NANA BANANA TO YOU

@mayor-ivy i have zero (0) memory of these events transpiring

@rabi-en-rose This is like, one of those times where I don’t remember when this happened, but i’m like “Yeah, I could see myself saying this”,

but I have no memory of the nana banana and that’s freaking me out on a slight existential level

a cryptid memory!!!!! but its not just a memory bc the physical post is right here and yet we’re both still struggling to believe its existence !!!!!

So we’re in the mandella effect?

UM THAT IS NANA BANANA TO YOU

@mayor-ivy i have zero (0) memory of these events transpiring

@rabi-en-rose This is like, one of those times where I don’t remember when this happened, but i’m like “Yeah, I could see myself saying this”,

but I have no memory of the nana banana and that’s freaking me out on a slight existential level

w h a t I s h a p p e n i n g

UM THAT IS NANA BANANA TO YOU

@mayor-ivy i have zero (0) memory of these events transpiring

@rabi-en-rose This is like, one of those times where I don’t remember when this happened, but i’m like “Yeah, I could see myself saying this”,

but I have no memory of the nana banana and that’s freaking me out on a slight existential level

I am morally opposed to there being glass between me and these puppies (Underlook.org)

Is this updog?

MESSAGE

“you think you’re the one who gets to kill me?” fghjvkfkkd

Trying to match this energy

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

THE PEANUTS MOVIE MADE ME CRY

That escalated quickly

a clownboy (half clown, half cowboy) says yeehonk

this is it. the worst post i’ve ever seen. my own two eyes are cursed

I stopped having celebrity role models ever since ringo starr told me to fuck off when I was 11 that experience was very formative I can never trust another beatle

did he really

God it really did and Im so pissed because I cant even tell the story because it sounds so everyone got up and clapped

you GOTTA tell me this story maude i must know

Well I’m not really used to telling this in text form so I’ll do my best but basically when I was 11 I idolized the beatles and like collected their records and cds, read all their autobiographies, had pics of them hanging ovr my bed and shit… yeah yeah it was a more naive time. But basically since my mom knew I loved them she pulled some of her vegas strings for my birthday and got me into the premiere of the beatles cirque de soleil show. see it, think its kinda lame but too starstruck to care, we get to go to the afterparty and there he is, the man himself, Richard Starky or whateverthefuck…. so naturally I FLIP and go omg ringo youve shaped my young life please can I have a picture w you

And the dude, like. Turns around. And does the most fucking cartoon villain laugh I’ve ever heard in my life. Like, puts his hands over his stomach, takes a deep breath and makes this noise thatd Id describe as Santa Claus mixed with Bowser. And looks me right in my horrified eyes and goes, “No.”

Like, I dont know what to say at this pt. I’m 11, my self esteem was pretty damn low, its not really registering to me that one of my childhood heroes is a fucking DBZ antagonist, instead my first instinct is that I did something wrong or I’m just so damn ugly the very sight of me deeply offended Mr. Starr, so even tho Im starting to cry a bit I awkwardly laugh and apologize for the intrusion. And the dude. He just gives me the smuggest “Yeah, thought so” look ever. And gestures to the other side of the room and goes “fuck off, kid”. Then turns around and resumes his conversation about the finer points of Microsoft paint as a modern art medium or whatever topic I imagine dominates the conversations of such an influential celebrity

But like, and this is the most fake sounding part of it, Julian Lennon (johns son from his first marriage, I think hes a photographer or something) saw all this happen. And like, stands there and comforts me for like 15 minutes. I’m ugly sobbing so loudly at this point, he just like gives me a kiss on my head and says things are gonna be ok. I ask him if I did something wrong. He tells me this happens all the time, the dude just really hates kids and kinda people in general. That raised so many questions for me. Is this a regular occurence? Has he comforted other kids who have had their hearts cruelly ripped out by the menace known as ringo starr, or possibly the other slightly less assholish beatles? Like, he seemed like he was so used to it.

Yeah, I threw out all my beatles shit after that. But thanks julian lennon for stopping me from becoming a supervillain hellbent on destroying the entire nation of britain for good. What a dude. I should check out his photos.

holy shit