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i have something to admit.

I am a whore for chris evans.

But his tattoos are so ugly. I’m sorry.

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klauzoleum

five: guys we have to stop the apocalypse before it kills us all!!!

all the other siblings: lmao sounds like a you kind of problem

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Five: So. Who broke the coffee maker? I'm not mad. I just want to know.
Mom: I did. I broke it.
Five: No, Mom. No you didn't. Diego?
Diego: Don't look at me. Look at Luther.
Luther: What? I didn't break it.
Diego: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Luther: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Diego: Suspicious.
Luther: No it's not!
Allison: If it matters, probably not, but Klaus was the last one to use it.
Klaus: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Allison: Oh really? Then what were you doing by it earlier?
Klaus: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles! Everyone knows that!
Mom: Ok, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me replace it, Five.
Five: No! Who broke it?!
Luther: Five... Vanya's been awfully quiet.
Vanya: Really?!
[everyone starts arguing]
Five [to himself]: I broke it. I burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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An Unnamed NPC: Lol, there’s not an AI system out there advanced enough to develop its own emotions. Like, name one robot that can truly love someone else?

An Uninvited, Grown-Up Diego Hargreeves:

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The old gods are not dead

I hear Athenas war cry in the shouts of protests,

fighting a war now closer to home,

I see her in the young women with picket signs

clenched tightly in their fists

Hera curses the names of the abusers

The ones who break families and marriages

Her voice heard in the wedding bells of young lovers

Poseidon now resides in a beach home

Going out every night to pick of trash left by the day

Shooting daggers at the drunk men letting their bottles be swept away

Demeter can be heard cursing the politicians refusing to believe in global warming

Names of scientists and studies on the tip of her tongue

She is found teaching young children how to grow their food at the community garden

Ares is found on the front lines of a different war, not fighting but protecting the innocent

Guiding classrooms of children away from gunfire,

His shield protecting the terrified

Apollo can be found at opens mics

Reciting his latest works

Or walking down the street in docs on his feet and a guitar on his back

He knows he’s the coolest

Artemis is seen on the streets

Her bow and arrow have long left her

Carrying nothing more than a knife and mace

She hunts a different kind of monster now

Hephaestus resides in a workshop at all hours of the night

Creating custom pieces for the right price and a warm smile

The hammer making him feel invincible

Aphrodite’s song is heard in the breathy kisses of teenagers

Shes found walking down the street, lips a blood red

Punching the men who dare disrespect her  

Hermes is seen with a smirk as he walks long well-traveled roads

Delivering the messages of those needing to be heard

Traveling, telling stories, and wearing out another pair of shoes

Dionysus’s voice heard only over the pounding bass in the bar

Keeping watch over young girls drinks

Dancing, partying and living as he throws another one back

Hades is seen weeping over the graves of those taken much to soon

Looking to his wife for comfort

He’s long lost his faith in humanity

Persephone found in the gardens beside her mother in the spring

Brushing off girl’s dirty knees and putting flower crowns on their heads

She can be seen holding onto hades as he mourns the loss of life

Hecate will be found running metaphysical shops

Bringing hope to powerful women wanting more

Selling potions, nobody thinks will work

And collecting graveyard dirt for a new spell

Zeus is watching over everyone

Watches Athena cry

Hera curse the men, he being one of them

Poseidon’s glares

Demeter’s harsh words

Ares raising his shield

Apollos singing

Artemis as she tracks a new beast

Watches Hephaestus work

Sees Aphrodite punch

Hears Hermes words

Sees hades weep

And Persephone plant and comfort her partner

And grins as Hecate keeps magic alive

The old gods are not dead

They are alive

And they are watching

- Sayali C.

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