i need you

the reason buzzfeed unsolved works so well is because shane and ryan emit equal but opposite chaotic energies

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces “I ASCEND” it’s the best thing

freshman yr vs senior yr

“Your job — as students who are receiving an education — is to be aware of your privilege. And use this particular privilege called “education” to do your best to achieve great things, all the while advocating for those in the rows behind you.”

source

This…

Wow this is a masterpiece

#SHE SNAPPED YOUR HONOR

jensen: hey i’ve already worn this, you want it?

misha: sure man thanks

misha: [wears it to a convention]

fans: hey nice shirt! wait isn’t that jensen’s?

what misha thinks the fans do:

that’s exactly what the fans do tho

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

#this is team skull

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

My husband had this Dungeons and Dragons group ages ago, and one of the guys was TERRIFIED of cats.  The moment he sees one he freezes up and can barely breathe.  Said guy is almost seven feet tall and solid wall of muscle.  Whenever he came over I’d put the cats in the bedroom and chill out with a book because my cats don’t like being shut away without one of us. 

One of my cats was pawing at the door and meowing loudly, an indication she REALLY needs to use the litter box.  I let her out and decide, hey, I’m hungry, and decide to the kitchen.  I forgot to shut the bedroom door. 

Next thing I hear is the group going completely silent.  My husband very calmly asks me to come over and help him gather our two cats up.  I go over to where the group is and my black cat, Cacoa, is rubbing up against the guy’s leg, purring, and doing her “let me on your lap” meow.  The other cat, Jasper, is sitting at the window, chilling out.  I go over and pick up Cacoa and tell the big dude she’s harmless, loves laps, and would be thrilled if he pet her.  Very slowly he touches my cat’s face, and she leans right into his hand.  He then pets her back and sighs because she’s really soft and purring like mad.  After a few minutes he asks how to pick her up and if it’s okay if she sits on his lap.

He spent the next six hours spoiling my cat.  The next week he showed up with cat treats and toys because he fell in love with the cats.  He told me he was doing some research on house cats, and even talked to a vet about them.  A couple months later he adopted two cats and was as thrilled and excited as a new parent. 

Oh no a new one!!!

I need someone to look at me like Misha looks at Jensen.

It’s the only day to post this so I gotta 

Adios 2017, you sick FUCK.

If someone like.. gave me flowers.. I’d cry

PEAS 🦆

thank you so so much for sharing this. this video is so important to me. i would sell my laptop, my house, and my sister for this duck. this video has enlightened me. i can continue living knowing such a being exists. thank you.

x

For @preciousmish ♥ Bonus:

what ages were ur guys ‘’ugly stage’’

birth to present

Hi Guys,

I’m really nervous about setting this up because I know my mom will be livid with me for doing so; but then again,  what will it matter if these health problems take her away?

My mom has a lot of issues with her blood pressure and heart– basically things that cannot be fixed, but something that would help immensely is to get her oral health back under control.  Due to a work injury several years ago,  my mom had to go on medications that ultimately weakened her teeth to uselessness.  Now, the infections are making her already serious health problems,  worse,  and she can’t even eat or drink without pain and risking even more infections. 

She needs the old teeth extracted and dentures made.  The process doesn’t cost a whole lot in the grand scheme of things but it’s just too much for me to afford. 

Something so small and simple could make all the difference in her life and the life of my family.  Her health could improve,  she could start working again and she’d finally start to feel better about herself. 

I understand if you can’t help – but any little bit would be a miracle. 

Please share. 

Please donate. 

Please help my mom smile again. 

I know it’s asking a lot– but I would really love to help my mom by Christmas. If you can, please donate– share, ask others if they can help. Thank you.

You all are my ❤️