Me: *cups own breasts* nice 

Me: *slaps own ass* NICE 

no offense but i’m a cat i’m a kitty cat and i dance dance dance and i dance dance dance 

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

why is barbie’s the nutcracker the only good film adaption of the nutcracker that has ever been made

because barbie movies slap next question

We’re a team!

I needed a break from my boys so heres the baes

me entering hell: eugh heugh FUCkkkk what’s P OP PP IN AAUUGHHHEUGH, huhuh woooOoOW it’s lit in heere, huhhh shuhugh mmwwahhh fuUUUCKK IT’S HOT AS FUCK IN HERE,

satan: can somebody PLEASE remove that from the premises

stop making deep gay movies 2k19 I want my gays kissing while swinging on a grappling hook from generic sci fi alien monster #12 so I don’t have to think about jackshit

me: hi how are you?

customer: im returning this

me: *slaps my ass loud enough to deafen them* i said how are you

Girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want lol

not to be dramatic but this mentality literally freed me

don’t talk to me or my 53 unfinished video games ever again