.
❝ i said i was SORRY about your toaster, ❞ she grumbles. ( & the television, & the microwave, & —— ) ❝ nor can i help that my mind — ❞ she’s getting better, she’s getting better, inch by inch day by day. slow, agonizing, dreadful healing. still wakes up screaming, thrashing, clawing at herself; still feels thoughts skittering & skipping inside her head. but that’s how it always goes, the sudden shattering and the interminable repair.
she SIGHS. ❝ i’ve never liked oceans. i nearly drowned the day i was born, did i ever tell you that? ❞
it’s not that lena cares about yet another broken household appliance, she has enough money to buy as many as hatter breaks in her stay at the young luthor’s apartment but it is starting to get tiresome. still, lena KNOWS SHE HAS TO BE PATIENT. this is someone who was trapped in lord knows where for a long time, who suffers from a strong trauma. even if they don’t talk about it out loud, she knows that there is something not right with the way hatter screams at night. ( and how would lena know ?? because there was a time, AFTER LEX WAS ARRESTED, where that same thing happened to her ) she is NOT ONE TO JUDGE. she just wants to help and doesn’t know how to approach the subject. ❝ it’s okay... maybe next time just give me a head ups before i try and use it. i ALMOST HAD A HEART ATTACK when it exploded. ❞ it was a very small explossion. but still !! ❝ you’ve never told me, no. ❞ lena crosses her arms over her chest. ❝ wanna talk about it ?? ❞
❝ …huh. ❞ long sundays listening to her father preach aside, sympathy’s never given much thought to death & definitely not to what comes after. it’s hard to conceptualize, a weird abstract that only ever seems to happen to OTHER PEOPLE. ❝ i wanna be cremated when i die, i guess. and, uh, get my name on a MEMORIAL PLAQUE somewhere. —— why’re we talking about this? ❞
lena chuckles. ❝ most people wanna be cremated, or so i believe. ❞ it’s not like she goes around discussing death with everyone, though it is something that she usually thinks about. being a personality in national city and the little sister of one of the world’s MOST NOTORIOUS ALIEN HATER makes her the TARGET OF VARIOUS THREATS and as much as she likes to believe it hasn’t made her paranoid, truth is lena luthor doesn’t plan on living that long. ❝ curiosity i guess. i was thinking out lout about the whole: being DRESSED IN CHANEL INSIDE MY COFFIN. though i do wanna look good in my own funeral. what’s the point if i don’t look as fine as i did alive ?? ❞
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KATE.
“couldn’t get any better than myself, i know these streets like the back of my hand. plus if you’re interested i can show you a few of the best clubs in town.” Kate could imagine herself and Lena hitting up a few of the more prestigious locations in Gotham, as few and far between those were. “i don’t see why not, you’ve been nothing but charming since i first sat down. Bruce has an eye for the charismatic types with a dangerous look in her eye. just ask Miss Kyle.”
last time lena went clubbing things didn’t end up well, metropolis was THE PEAK AND END OF HER DOWNFALL. those times in which she believed to miss consciousness due to alcohol was the best thing she could do to forget how messed up things were at home. now in gotham she doubts she will want to revive those memories but regardless she smiles and nods. ❝ I’D LOVE TO. you look like someone who knows how to have fun. ❞ and that is true, kate exudes that vibe that makes the luthor heiress want to know her better. ❝ well, i sure hope so. wayne enterprises have been one of our biggest partners, ever since dad ran the company. so i hope I CAN MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION on bruce the more we talk. ❞ lena tilts her head to the side, suddenly realizes she’s been talking with kate for minutes and has been a terrible host. ❝ would you like some water ?? coffee ?? ❞
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the woman’s sweet, unusually so. natural suspicion that originally was born into her veins dying down with the realisation that just maybe this is true - that the woman is simply eager to be nice to someone else. a lifetime of relying on people seeing you the right way could do that to someone, her own years of experience giving an honest and deep chuckle. “I don’t know. I suppose green is always a good place to start.” neutral enough it would get along with her mass of other bottles, even her marriage with bobbi not ending with either of them knowing how to turn an apartment into a home. but if she’s here to stay, at least for the present future, there seems to be no harm in her letting the other get more involved with her painfully lacking decoration skills. “let me guess. yours is blue? red?”
❝ green is always a nice place to start, i agree. ❞ lena nods her head. she has to swallow the need to make a comment about how her eyes are green and indeed it is A VERY PRETTY COLOR, she is just now getting lance to talk to her without keeping all her walls up. she won’t let her narcissism get in the way. at least not yet. ❝ i like a lot of colors, ❞ she shrugs, thinking which one could be considered her favorite. ❝ but i do use a lot of red, in my clothes i mean. i feel comfortable with it. however if you went to my apartment YOU’D BE SURPRISED BY HOW MINIMALIST everything is. black and white is my main decour. ❞ and blue... well... she doesn’t dislike it.
SARA.
she GRINS, placing the papers gently down on the table before standing back up straight, folding her arms across her chest as an eyebrow raises in amusement, grin still plastered on her face. when kara told her she was going to be keeping an E Y E on lena, she never mentioned how hot lena was, or lena’s sexuality ( it was pretty obvious to sara ; she’s got a mile radius on her gaydar ) though, maybe kara didn’t know about the latter herself. ❝ i’ll start whenever you’d LIKE me to. A N Y T H I N G you need, i’m your girl. ❞
she can’t possibly be the only one FEELING THE TENSION between the two of them, and if sara’s grin is any indicator, lena is certain that this will be... interesting. she bites the inside of her cheek she has an strict policy of not dating her employees, it’s unprofessional and dating within work ALWAYS LEADS TO DISASTER. still... ❝ can you be here tomorrow morning ?? i’d like to get to know you better, ❞ for professional purposes only. lena tells herself. ❝ maybe we could... go have breakfast or something. there’s a really nice restaurant downtown. ❞
who needs xanax when you can fuck the brains outta lena luthoralex danvers, 2017 ( @biologicalengineer )
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‘ as much as i want to hear that, as much as i want this lena, i’d feel terrible if i tried to do something with you like this. in this vulnerable state. i’d be a horrible friend and horrible person, know what i mean? but i am here for you. ‘
❝ would it really be taking advantage of the situation if i’m the one TELLING YOU TO DO IT ?? ❞ her eyes are red, nose puffy and voice strangled. she knows this is the wrong thing to do, that she’ll most likely REGRET IT IN THE MORNING but lena has never been known for healthy coping mechanisms. ❝ vance, ❞ she whispers, hiding her face on his chest, inhaling his cologne. ❝ I’M SORRY... ❞
ily that's tea
i love you even more. it’s Tea.
RAY.
❝ Cause I’m wide awake . WHY AM I WIDE AWAKE? The city sits below and we take, shots at the moon I wanna give it to you — ❞ ( love won’t sleep, lostboycrow )
❝ well i know when you’re around ‘cause i know the sound, THE SOUND OF YOUR HEART. it’s not about reciprocation it’s just all about me. a sycophantic, prophetic, socratic junkie wannabe there’s SO MUCH SKIN TO SEE. a simple epicurean philosophy. ❞ ( the sound--the 1975 )
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KARA.
❛ lena, i-i’m looking at you right now. ❜ kara RAISED an eyebrow as she glanced across the table to lena, tilting her head to the side. ❛ are you drunk ? what are you — you’re not — who roofied you ? ❜
lena throws her hands up in the air, MOVING HER HIPS AT THE BEAT. ❝ i’m just fine, kara !! ❞ she’s smiling, but her voice sounds slurred which is a clear indication that she’s had more than enough to drink. ❝ DANCE WITH ME !! ❞ she puts both her arms around kara’s neck, bringing her close to her body. ❝ one song and then we’ll go home. I PROMISE. ❞
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KARA.
kara waited until lena put her hand out before slipping her own into it, smiling up at lena. she waited a second for it to sink in, hoping she’d get the joke. ❛ did youthat worked right ? that was funny ? did ithat was flirting, right ? ❜
lena looks at THEIR INTERTWINED HANDS for a second, frowning before it sinks in. ❝ oh my god, ❞ she mutters under her breath as a smile tugs at the corner of her lips, cheeks flushing in a bright pink. ❝ have i ever told you that YOU’RE THE MOST ADORABLE PERSON alive ?? ❞ the luthor heiress closes the distance between them and gives kara a kiss on the cheek, soft and gentle. ❝ you WON AT FLIRTING. ❞
KARA.
‘ I’m sorry Lena ‘ Kara said unsure of what to really say to comfort her friend, breakups were always hard no matter what the exact details of the situation were. ‘ Boys are idiots, sometimes I’m just done with them ‘
❝ you don’t need to apologize, kara. we both saw it coming, the relationship was broken before it even started. we kept pretending that it was normal to SCREAM AND FIGHT ALL THE TIME. i knew eventually it wouldn’t work. ❞ she shrugs, diverts her gaze to the floor in an attempt of hiding how much it’s actually HURTING HER because even though lena knows it was toxic and that to end it was the wise thing to do, at least she had someone. she wasn’t alone. ❝ boys are idiots, ❞ she repeats kara’s words nodding her head, ❝ i am one hundred percent done with them. ❞
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❝ …what ? ❞ she asks, puzzled. & she’s CERTAIN that her face is disappointed, for sure, from the stress of life & friends who don’t love you & everything in between, but—– she’s not sure she understood the whole thing.
❝ & how OBVIOUS is my disappointment ? ❞
❝ i’m not really sure. you just look... puzzled. ❞ lena slumps in the couch next to her, instantly taking her heels off and sighing when her feet come in contact with the cold floor. THE DAY’S BEEN TERRIBLE, to say the least. ❝ i am sorry. I’VE HAD SO MUCH ON MY MIND these couple of days, i think i’m running on autopilot.
what’s up with you ?? ❞
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“I, Clark Kent, take you, Lois Lane, to be my companion, forever. With you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I’ve never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. When I’ve been lost you’ve always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You’ve always believed in me, and I believe in you. When you believe in someone it’s not for a minute, or just for now, it’s forever.” - (Clark Kent, Smallville)
❝ i was an ACE WHEN I WAS YOUNG i learned to dance, i didn’t have to learn. i was a case when i grew up. a case of HOPE CRASHING TO THE GROUND. ❞ @i-mattered ❤’d. ( the psychiatrist is in--god help the girl )