bold of you to assume i can die

mike’s hard bubble tea

It’s just marbles

it’s been 10 whole years and i still have no idea what homestuck is about

anyway bye gotta jump back to safety

Legitimately one of my favorite Onion articles

u know the trope of mean girls saying something nice to someone’s face then badmouthing them when they walk away, well yesterday I experienced the better version which was a girl walking past a group of girls and waving and they all demurely said hi and kept walking and when she was out of earshot one of them said “I seriously think I would die for her” and the rest said “RIGHT??”

My nephew likes to play McDonald's, which is what you'd expect it to be. He says, "Welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?" After you order, he says, "Okay, coming right up," and pretends to give you your food. He has another game called "Silly McDonald's," which is the same thing, except no matter what you order, he says, "Here's your cold hamburger."

I know I'm biased, but he's a comedic genius, as far as I'm concerned.

The last time I saw him, he said, "Let's play McDonald's," so I assumed it was regular McDonald's. But then he hit me with a cold hamburger. It was Silly McDonald's the whole time. I got played.

Dwight tha Truth Speaker

tv shows be like let's have the ugliest man kiss the hottest women alive

this is the most viscerally lesbian image I have ever seen

I feel bad for the scientists who spent years and years getting their degrees only to eventually end up dressing up rats in lingerie.

I feel jealous of the scientists who get to spend their time dressing up rats in jackets.

who even thought it would be a good idea to put rats in lingerie

Who are we to deprive rats of the right to be sexy?

we are all just cam girls for the surveillance state

thor stan gear: 

there’s no shirt, is this a tiddies out look?

Naturally

1973. Some things never change