a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

This is so important

That self-aggrandizing technique is no joke.

I replaced “I’m stupid” with “I’m a God damn genius.” “Move over newton” “another masterpiece”

I replaced “gross/ disgusting” with “sexy/attractive” “the hight of elegance”

I replaced “I suck/ that sucked/ this is bad” with “fantastic”, “a lovely time”, “ swell/jolly good”

Replace every negative with a positive. Say it so sarcastically. Make it complicated make it entertaining have fun with it.

It will stop your self deprecating and build confidence. And people are more easygoing around you.

#a good stopgap is being neutral rather than negative/positive #when i drop smth at work i just say #ah… gravity. #and move on (tags by @whatever-you-can-give-me )

^^^ to those of you who complain that it feels weird or uncomfortable or not genuine to immediately switch to self-aggrandizement, try this instead!!! nobody on this post is kidding that it helps - you’re basically building a manual override for the mental pathways your brain is used to so you can switch those train tracks

I’ve been doing this and I literally can’t even IMAGINE making those jokes I made in middle school- why would I say “I hate myself” when I can say “I’m gonna pee on ur shoes” it gets a good laugh out of me and my friends-

How to spot signs and symptoms of Breast Cancer 

Reblog to literally save a life

whish they told us this in school, all they did was say “feel for lumps, you will know when you feel it”

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this

it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.

Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important

nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!

this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.

sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES

Important 

No worries if this post doesn’t fit your aesthetic or theme, this is important information. You could save not just a physical woman’s life but you can ALSO prevent things like PTSD that a woman would acquire from an attack if left alive

Dont you dare scroll past this without reblogging im pretty sure you can press two simple buttons to raise awareness

OMG I LOVE THIS!!! 💜

Im about to shart im so excited

THIS SHOW IS SO PURE!

It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).

BONUS:

Bonus #2

Of course I had to show the best part:

we may not have been able to save brandon. but the fight is far from over.

this is dustin john higgs.

in 1996, he was convicted of kidnapping and murdering three women and was sentenced to death.

this conviction is entirely false. he didn’t murder anybody.

he has been found not guilty of the crime. at this point, the only reason he remains in jail is because he was at the scene of the crime. the court also claims that he bullied willis hayes, the man who actually did murder the three women, into killing them. however, willis hayes has come forward and has admitted that dustin DID NOT commit the crime, and he’s also even confessed that dustin never bullied him into murdering the trio of women. but the court won’t accept it.

DUSTIN JOHN HIGGS IS SCHEDULED TO BE EXECUTED ON JANUARY 15, 2021. HE IS GOING TO BE EXECUTED FOR A CRIME HE DID NOT COMMIT AT ALL. WE CAN’T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.

@esspress0depress0 @thesevenumbrellas @real-tua-facts @thetrueihaveaname @youngsamberg @umbrellas-be-falling @peterbparkers @amystiago @stranger-umbrellas @glitched-coffee @letsgoravendors @kakakuroo @klaus-is-the-real-number-1 @itty-bitty-rampaging-committee @mariarreynolds @benhargrieves @number5theboy @millicent-is-goose @caseoftheblues @27-umbrellas @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace @the-umbrella-academy-confessions @studentlifeproblems @sunriseseance here’s another chain post for you. you guys know the drill, please make sure to tag anybody you can think of to make sure this message gets somewhere.

Okay, everybody, so I’ve done some research myself and Higgs is not innocent. While he did not bully or manipulate Hayes/Haynes (I’ve seen multiple versions of the name and don’t know which is correct, so I’ll use both) into murdering these women, the general consensus is that he was the one who kidnapped them and then gave Hayes/Haynes the gun to kill the women.

Please, please, sign petitions so he is not executed. He doesn’t deserve it; he didn’t kill them. But he was also there and was an accomplice. He deserves life imprisonment like Hayes/Haynes. It is misinformed to say he is innocent and deserves to be free. But he doesn’t deserve to die.

really hate how so many people are aphobic, transphobic, etc without being OPEN about it. i just wanna follow some new people without having to search through their blog to make sure they dont hate me or other people for simply existing

no seriously if you hate ace people get the fuck away from me. do not even try to defend yourself. i literally do not care.

This is a safe space for ace, trans and nonbinary people. Fuck off, exclusionists.

Ace, Aro, and Trans folk are all welcome here. Y’all are beautiful and valid and fuck whoever says otherwise. And if you are an exclusionary and pick and choose who to support in the LGBT community, then fuck off and go eat cement mix

Oh they’re going to need salvation.

Not just making it illegal, but making being gay punishable with death.

This is one of the many reasons why I walk by every single red bucket in the run-up to Christmas. They’re not getting my money, I don’t care how nice the people ringing bells are.

Ever since the time they threatened to close all their soup kitchens in NYC if a law that did something as simple as allow companies to extend spousal benefits to their employee’s same-sex domestic partners I have refused to buy from them or donate to them. 

It’s that time of year again! In case people don’t know… the Salvation Army is shitty peoples.

Also, the married women are not paid (and therefore can’t qualify for assistance if they should ever divorce, etc). And worth “of course” less than a man.

source

hey since that season is coming up again!

To my American followers. Don’t support Salvation Army. Not only are they homophobic as shit, but I’ve also heard that they abuse a lot f homeless people. They only care about money, please don’t donate to them and give your money to charities that actually help people

Never don’t reblog.

To be clear: this is specific to America. It is not necessarily going to be true for all countries. Please don’t boycott your own salvos without proper investigation: in many countries they do good work.

Sorry but no, the Salvation Army was founded in the UK and even there still are homophobic as hell, to the point that they still refuse to let out gay people hold positions of power in the organisation. This is a callout for the whole group, not just the US. - Purple

AND Canadian salvation army is just as bad! the whole organization is rotten from the core! Canadians are not immune to bad organizations!

Reblog to continue the violent hate against the Salvation Army.

this made me happy :) 

i hope every other jewish person who sees this today has a lovely day 

[ID: Post banner, on the left is a blue Star of David.  The banner is Blue on blue and reads “This user strongly supports the safety and well being of Jewish people” end ID]

:)

Life Advice by Killer Mike

this is an insult

Sometimes you see listings with the complete opposite vibe, like my favorite, “only qualification needed to be a hospital cardiac monitor technician is.. graduate high school”.

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

This is very true lol

Yo what the f u c k

not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

What the fuck

i-

….thank you tumblr??

Tbh its rlly rare to happen BUT NONETHELESS IT CAN HAPPEN

UM???? Yeah I would’ve like to KNOW THIS IN SEX ED PLZ. WTF WHY WOULD THEY NOT MENTION THIS