"Don't compare her to sunshine and roses,

when she's clearly orchids and moonlight."

City in Paint by Mateusz Urbanowicz

karl bryullov, the last day of pompeii & phoebe bridgers, i know the end

190912 BTS_official’s Tweet

[#HappyBdayRM] 0912 HAPPY BIRTHDAY RM-MIONE (a.k.a 아레미온느)* #RM #KimNamjoon #Don’tWorryWe’reAlreadyEachOther’sWill #Reparo💫**

(*T/N: RM-MIONE is a play on Hermione and RM; **T/N: Reparo is a spell from Harry Potter.)

:(

190221 Namjoon’s Weibo Post

#RM#

we don’t talk about this look enough

@nyeongificent

⊰ namjoon moodboard ⊱

hello arms 🙃

Just wow....rude af

packs

like if use/save

Paper Cuts, Paper Burns

Chenbaek fanfic: Chapter 3 - After being saved by what you can call “An angel.” Chen learned more about the interesting man.

I don’t know why I listened to a stranger and decided to eat with him and let him take me home. I don’t know anything about this person and he doesn’t know anything about me. Why does he care about me?

I did just try to jump from a bridge so I think he just tries to be nice to me.

After I’ve calmed down we came to a street restaurant and ordered take outs.

B: ”Hey, listen. I know I’m just a stranger and that you must be going through some difficult stuff right now but I just hope you know that I want to help. Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

J: ”Not really. I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I think I need to work on it alone.”

B: ”And how’s that working out for you?”

I was a bit surprised by the sudden comment but when I looked at him and understood the sarcasm.

J: ”Well, I’m working on it. My sister tries to help me but I rather not become a burden on her too.”

B: ”And your parents?”

J: ”……… My parents.”

It took me a while to get the words out of my mouth.

J: ”They have passed away.”

B: ”Oh my, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

J: ”It’s okay, it’s been over a year.”

B: ”I know how it feels. I lost my brother for abut 3 years ago.”

J: ”Oh shit.”

B: ”Yeah car accident.”

J: ”Oh. Cancer.”

We stood outside my apartment and I turned to the nice man.

J: ”This is my place.”

B: ”Look you don’t have to worry about me contacting anyone if you don’t want to. I went through the same stuff when my brother passed away and I was just lucky that I didn’t take enough pills. I didn’t have anyone who stopped me.”

He pulled out a notebook and a pen from his bag.

B: ”Here is my number. You can call me anytime if you just need a friend.”

He handed me the paper with the number written on it. I tried to figure out why he is so nice. Is he an angel? He saved me and being so nice and cares about me. I can’t believe that he’s for real. A complete stranger. Is he dangerous? What does he want?

J: ”Can I ask you something?

B: ”Sure, anything.”

J: ”Who really are you?”

B: ”You must think I’m a weirdo, right? I understand. I assure you, I’m not a crazy stalker, I’m a good guy. I work as an director actually. Right now I’m directing for a play at the Enlarged Towol Theater. We’re doing The Phantom Of The Opera. You should come and see it some.”

J: ”I’m sorry, I just don’t understand why someone is so nice to me all a sudden.”

B: ”People care but some are just selfish to admit it.”

I watched the strange man walk away and the he turned away and said.

B: ”You should call your sister. Talk about the crazy man you met today. Tell her I said hi.”

He waved at me goodbye and walked away, I then looked down at the note.

Baekhyun. What a strange day. Maybe I’ll go to the Theater tomorrow, that would be interesting.

Paper Cuts, Paper Burns

Chenbaek Fanfiction - Chaper 2: Jongdae tries to commit suicide but then someone saved him from jumping.

I picked up a pair of jeans and a shirt from the floor, they didn’t smell so bad so it would do. All I need is some deodorant and it will be fine. I had no time for a shower anyway.

I should have called in sick today. Every step felt so heavy. It was like something was dragging me down.

I see people all around me, smiling and laughing, kissing and loving. How many of them are real? Do they think I am stupid? What are you trying to prove? That you are happy? How could you be happy when we live in a world like this? How can we be happy when we know that one day we all will be gone, no one is going to ask where the person are who greeted them while they passed by on the streets. They will forget you and soon enough, the memories about you will fade. That’s the reality, so what’s the point of faking it?

I arrived to my office and noticed all my co-workers judging me. I didn’t care about it, I just want to finish my job early so I can leave.

After a long day of paper work, after paper work and more paper work, I finally could leave. On my way home, I cross a bridge on the highway.

Maybe that would be easy? All I need to do is to jump. What do I have? I have memories but no friends, a job that sucks and no parents. I suddenly thought of my sister and my eyesight got unclear, I felt a tear falling down my cheek. This isn’t fair to do to her. She will be so disappointed in me. I’m sorry my sister, but I’m not as strong as you.

I climbed up the fence so I was standing on the outside of the bridge. I looked down at the flood, I was so high up. I won’t survive this for sure. If I just let go of-

”Hey! Just think for a minute what you’re about to do now buddy.” I head a voice behind me saying. I couldn’t look back.

”I don’t know what have happened to you and I’m just a stranger but maybe I can help you.”

”No one can help me.”

”Just let me try, I think I can understand if you’ll just talk to me. We are very high up. If you jump, you won’t survive.”

”I know.”

”What’s your name?”

”Jongdae.”

”If I may ask you, Jongdae. Do you have any relatives or friends?”

”…Yeah.”

”And what do you think they will feel when you’re gone?”

”……Not so happy, I would guess”

”So you know you mean a lot to someone. You know that you matter to them, right?”

”….Yes.”

”Let me help you. Not only for their sake but also for you. Please?”

I slowly turned around and climbed over the fence. The man helped me down, the minute I was him I thought there was something special about him. He is not like others.

”You’re Jongdae, right?”

”Yes.”

”Hi Jongdae, my name is Baekhyun. Nice to meet you.” He said and shaked my hand.

”Is there anyone you want me to call? Do you want to go home? Are you hungry? We can talk and eat.”

”I’m a little bit hungry, I suppose…”

”Great, come on. We can order take outs if you want.”

Paper Cuts, Paper Burns

Chenbaek Fanfiction - 1 Chapter: Chen is a Journalist but wants to be a writer. He is dealing with a long depression after his mothers passing and have lost his will to live

I woke up to the sound of the train that passed by outside my apartment. My head was aching from the wine I had last night. I could barely think straight, it was almost killing me but it wasn’t my first hangover. Shouldn’t I be used to it by now? Was I expecting something else? I don’t know what I was expecting. I knew I would feel like shit today.

I sat up on the edge of my bed and looked around my uncleaned apartment. It was small. A room with a big bookshelf of my many collections of book that couldn’t fit so most of them was stacked on top of each other. There was my TV, a table with an old bowls with unfinished cereals and my couch that I got from my beloved mother. I looked over at my desk with my unfinished books and scrips I’ve been working on that’s been turned down more than once. The smell of an cold half empty coffee cup made me realize that I probably should clean my apartment but I tell myself that every morning but every morning it’s the same story. An uncleaned apartment and every stack of books, papers and cereal bowls just get bigger and bigger. I was sleeping on a bed in the corner of the room. I had a separate kitchen and a bathroom in another room.

Fuck, my head hurts so bad. I needed an aspirin.

I stood up and nearly fell because of the headache. It eased down quickly but I still needed to control my balance. There is books everywhere I go but I survived. I picked a glass I had used from yesterday to fill up with water and took the aspirin.

There is only one left in the capsule. Better get new ones. I barely have any food either. I literally live on coco pops and captain crunch. I am soon out of milk too. Maybe I’ll go to the store later. I turned on the coffee machine and made my way to the bathroom to wash my face. I still have dark circles around my eyes, I look skinnier. I look like a character from a Tim Burton movie. I don’t know what character this is though, I don’t know him. I realized that I don’t like him. No, I hate him. What’s the point? We live alone, we die alone. Everything else is just an illusion.

I poured up the coffee, grabbed my cigarette and went outside to the balcony. My lighter is almost empty but I still got enough gas in it. I forced out the flame to light my cigarette and let the smoke fill my lungs.

Ah, the feeling of the first smoke in the morning. There is nothing like it. I grabbed my cup and took a sip. The taste reminds me of how my mother used to do it. If she was here she would probably nag, why is my apartment dirty and how I need to clean it but then she would do it herself right away.

I smiled at that thought and looked down in the cup. This cup was my mother’s. I remember the day me and my sister was cleaning her house and packed up the last things.

”Take what ever you would like”, my uncle said. I took some things like her cups, the couch and a few books. My sister wanted the old clock from the living room and her necklace that mother always used, it was in her will. She also took some photo albums of us.

”Are you sure you don’t want any albums?”

”No, it’s okay. You can keep them.”

My sister took out one of the pictures from the album and gave it to me. It was a picture of my mom and my dad on the beach with my sister who was 8, hugging the 5 year old me. My beautiful mother who was so happy and healthy back then. I couldn’t hold back my tears and my sister comforted me. She was always the stronger one. After we got home from the hospital that day she already booked a date for the funeral so everything would be ready and just as mom would’ve wanted it. She is just like our father. He always had control, he knew the solutions to all our problems and he always told us, ”After rain, there’s sunshine.” We where lucky to have both of them. I am lucky to have my sister. She’ve done so much for me. I wish I could do something back but I’m afraid what she would say if she’ll see me like this.

I then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and as I could’ve guessed, it’s my sister.

”Hello?”

”Hi, why haven’t you return to any of my calls?”

”I’ve been busy.”

”Really? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for two weeks and you can’t return one single call or text?”

”Okay, I’m sorry.”

”I’m worried about you, Jongdae. Do you want me to come over?”

”No it’s fine. I gotta go to work” I said while rubbing my eyes as I felt the anxiety. I start in 30 minutes and I’m not sober. My fucking boss and that boring desk. All the ass kissing employers and gossipers. The money is enough to pay rent at least.

”Okay. Just tell me know if you’ll need anything. I love you.”

”I love you too, bye.”