Peter is a bit late when he slides into Tony’s lab, still wearing his Spider-Man suit, the mask crunched up in his hand. “Hi, Mr. Stark! Sorry for being late!”
Tony waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t sweat it, kiddo. But out of curiosity, why are you late? Was a kitten stuck in a tree that needed your help?”
“No, I helped a nice old lady over the street and then she told me her entire life story. Like, totally unprompted. I didn’t even ask for it.” Peter takes a few of the blueberries from the bowl on Tony’s workbench and plops them into his mouth. “Her granddaughter has an audition for a Broadway role next week.”
“According to Agnes, she only has a chance of getting the role if they’re bringing Cats back and are looking for someone to make obnoxious cat noises.” Tony barks out a laugh, but doesn’t dwell on Peter being late any further, instead beckoning him closer to take a better look at what he’s currently working on.
However, a bit over half an hour later, Tony has to deal with Peter’s tardiness again – but in a very different way than he imagined.
“Boss, there is a call from an unknown number for you,” FRIDAY interrupts them.
Tony raises an eyebrow. “An unknown number? That never means anything good. Can you track it?”
“Of course. I am already on it and I will alert the authorities as soon as I have the location.”
“Good girl.” He takes his phone (that’s always on silent – why should be bother with something like a ringtone when he has an AI for that?) and answers the call. “Hey there, Stranger. Congratulations, you have my attention.”
Peter tries his best to suppress his snicker as Tony is met with surprised silence. The caller obviously didn’t expect Tony’s good mood. That’s good, he likes to throw people off their rhythm.
“Mr. Stark, we have an offer for you,” the man on the other side says, obviously trying to seem more in control than he really is.
“If it’s not a contract with Ben & Jerry’s to get me my own ice cream flavor, I’m not interested.”
“We have your little protégé. But after a small… donation, we might consider letting him go back to you.”
Tony hates to admit it, but he hadn’t expected that statement. His eyes fly towards to Peter, who is sitting there and blinking at him. As soon as Tony found out about Peter’s all-hearing ears, he Peter-proofed his phone, making sure that the kid can’t hear anything.
Oh, this just got a lot more interesting.
Tony raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, who are you talking about?”
“Of course. Hold on a second.” He mutes his phone. “Peter.”
“Uh, yeah? Wait, I get the feeling I’m in trouble.”
“Why does an unknown caller tell me he holds you captive?”
For the fraction of a second Peter has the audacity to look genuinely confused. Like he forgot about what happened to him. Then, enlightenment washes over his face and it’s quickly replaced by a sheepish look. “I might have been… kidnapped during patrol.”
“But helping Agnes across the street was obviously more important to report,” Tony deadpans.
“Well, to be fair: You asked why I was late, not what I was doing in general,” Peter defends himself. Before Tony can even finish to sigh or complain about an upcoming, spider-boy-related migraine, the kid is already talking again. “And they did, like, a really bad job! They didn’t sedate me or had any special ropes or even something like a surveillance camera. Seriously, I got out of there so fast, it’s not even funny. It would be an insult to every other kidnapping attempt to call that a kidnapping.”
“The problem isn’t that it’s been a poor attempt at kidnapping, it’s that they tried to kidnapped you at all,” Tony hisses, unable to keep the real worry and fear out of it. Sure, this time it ended well, but what if it hadn’t? Tony has some first-hand experiences what a not-sorry-attempt of kidnapping looked like, and the last thing he wants is for Peter to experience the same.
The kid, at least, has the grace to look guilty. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
And he knows it’s true. Sighing deeply, Tony massages his left wrist. “Have you never heard of Stranger Danger?”
“Yes, but if I would listen to it, I wouldn’t have gone to Germany with you.”
“And you’re really okay?” Tony asks, immediately giving Peter a once over to find any indications of injuries.
“Yes, totally. My ego is a bit bruised that they didn’t try harder, but I’m fine. You can check the Baby Monitor footage if you want to make sure.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely do that, don’t worry. But first, I have a ransom call to get back to.” Tony unmutes the call and puts the phone back against his ear. “So sorry for the wait. I’m afraid we won’t come to an agreement, gentlemen, but here’s some free advice: next time, make sure you actually still have your hostage before you make the ransom call. Oh, and the police will arrive at your place in the next few seconds, trying to run would not only be stupid but a complete waste of time. Toodeloo!”
