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edit: DO NOT VOTE BASED ON THE VIBES OF THE FLUIDS 😭

Shrinkflation

So, I found out a fun fact this last weekend!

Every state has a Department of Weights and Measures. One of their jobs is to make sure that companies are actually selling you the quantities they claim they're selling. For example, this is the department which tests gas pumps and makes sure they're really pumping out a gallon of gas when they charge you for a gallon of gas.

So....

If you happen to, just as an example, notice that your 1lb (16 ounce) box of San Giorgio spaghetti actually only has 10oz of noodles, and you weigh your other boxes of spaghetti to discover they run from 10 to 14 ounces but never the full pound they're supposed to have, and that's why you never seem to have enough pasta for leftovers the next day, then you can report that to the Department of Weights and Measures.

They will want to know where you bought the item, and then will investigate whether the store or the manufacturer is routinely shorting customers. If they do, they will issue a fine to the offending party, you will be eligible for a refund, and under some circumstances lawsuits may follow.

Now, I don't know the outcome of the complaint I just initiated, but they did not want to know specific receipts or times of purchase. Which is good for me as I didn't keep any of those things, at the time I just said "Wow, fuck San Giorgio" and switched brands. But this is still enough to get an inspector out.

 Reworking of my original Primordial Mother

The Primordial Mother is an example of a living mythos; A maid that is of corporeal and faith. She is seen as both giver and taker. Mother and monster of the cosmic deep. A behemoth of the abyss, she is the leviathan of the mermaid world. 

While many mermaid species don’t possess culture or what would be deemed as such. There are species who do in fact display a sentience, a self awareness and with that a seeming spirituality. In some species of mermaids it appears as though the Primordial Mother is revered as a Goddess figure.

Aside from her spiritual connection to certain mermaid species, it is believed that this specie is in fact the ancient progenitor of all mermaid species. Offerings, effigies, and carvings have been exhibited depicting this colossal maid and were the first things seen of this mysterious God. It was once believe to be purely religious iconography. It wasn’t until much later that the existence of Primordial Mother was confirmed. It is not known if she is aware of her divinity status. 

While not agreed upon, it is believed that there is only ever one Primordial Mother at one time. The species is entirely comprised of males except for her. Males of the species will search the ocean depths to find her. Forming large harems. Many will never find a female Primordial Mother in their lifetime. When the Primordial mother dies, the largest, most dominant male within the harem with undergo a metamorphosis taking her place. Some speculate that there are many, though fewer in number, Primordial mothers. It is not known if this concept of a single mother is purely symbolic albeit believed by mermaid species. Regardless, the Primordial Mother inhabits such depths much of their life will remain a mystery. 

like you all wouldnt be hyped as fuck to join a gay rights club called the “brotherhood of evil gays”

…

this is an exceptionally valid point.

Very silly ot6/polygangsey mood board made solely out of images I already had on my computer.

With thanks to Smith @fromchaos for the most important image in the world

This was a good use of my time.

Honestly, I don't mind the proliferation of emojis in casual online communication because it makes my favourite sort of bit much easier to pull off. Saying patently absurd shit in a perfect deadpan used to be hard to convey in pure text, and now all I have to do is punctuate and avoid using little cartoons.

It's actually kind of fascinating how expressing the formal register in textual communication has shifted over my lifetime. In spoken communication, the formal register is mostly about grammar and vocabulary, and this was once true of text as well, but these days folks will often use very formal grammar in casual text, counting on the fact that they're not captalising the starts of their sentences nor ending them with periods to establish that they're speaking in the casual register – and conversely, doing those things can establish a formal register even when one's word choices are conspicuously casual. We've basically evolved a formal register which is only intelligible in written form because it relies entirely upon orthography.

To the fluent speaker of contemporary textual communication, "fuck" and "Fuck." are completely different sentences.

i enjoy the added tonal complexity that discord's reaction mechanism has brought to the table, too

Emoji also make it a lot easier to have possibly a lot of people react to something without a lot of text. If a message has a :yikes: reaction with a "16" next to it, that's a lot more efficient screen-wise than 16 people sending distinct messages.

Elisabeth Treskow, Graduated Fringe Necklace, 1955. Essen, Germany. Source

In 15,000BC, George Washington, father of the Americans, wrote down: Amendment number 1, the right of the individual to beautiful femboys shall not be infringed

And then he wrote down: Amendment number 2, the well regulated femboy harem, being necessary to the free world, shall not be infringed

And then he wrote down number 3, no femboy shall be quartered at your house in a time of peace. But that one was soon discarded, since everyone wants a femboy quartered at their house. Even great father Washington was not always right the first time around.

while a complete account of the etymological progression from "femboy" to "firearm" remains elusive, there can be little doubt that the latter descends from the former, a fact which current originalist scholarship continues to corroborate. recent work has revealed, e.g., that "bussy" likely referred to some part of the musket or cannon, due to its frequent coincidence with descriptions of ramming. also, we now know that the onomatopoetic "plap" was meant to echo the sound of bullets/projectiles hitting flesh (hence the repetition and emphasis in usage, e.g. "plap plap plap!").

please don't reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body

I think we can do it.

Posts that have 2x10^25 notes to me.

#we’re not even close to destroying a single cell#sunlight probably does more damage to op every day than we’ve done collectively as a site

We gotta work harder!!

would u guys feed me if I was a stray cat

reblog if you would feed prev if they were a stray cat in another life

cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point

Pussy bruschetta

Tomatoes in his pussy (Kyle's)

Daily fish fact #681

Splendid garden eel!

These fish, like other garden eels, pretty much live their whole lives in their burrows. A garden eel digs its burrow tail-first, and secretes mucus to glue the grains of sand at the sides together, and after that they're all set! They feed on plankton, so large groups of splendid garden eels can often be seen facing the same direction, towards the current.