twice as shiny

New Years resolutions: do whatever i want forever

The time will pass anyways

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

Cannot Stress Enough how important it is to read Howl’s Moving Castle written by Diana Wynn Jones immediately after watching Howl’s Moving Castle directed by Hayao Miyazaki. When he made the movie he was of course upset with war and thus included it in the film, but you gotta understand. You really Gotta Understand. Every time in the movie where Howl turns the door dial black to travel to an absolutely hellish warscape? You know where that same dial takes him in the book? The Real World Country Of Wales

He goes to his sister’s house to play rugby and have a drink with his mates. His sister is like “you fucking loser get a JOB” and Howell is like “I have a job, I’m a wizard!” And she’s like “FUCK OFF”

We are no longer being polite to men who brag about not having changed a diaper. Show your disgust, even if it's just a sneer and changing the subject.

I just watched my dad sneer at another man and say, "I'd have been ashamed to admit that," and that man looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

"What, are you scared of a little poo?"

Following an address to the Vatican, the Pope announced he was "about to go St. Sebastian mode." When asked for clarification, his holiness added that he was "horny enough to invent some new holes."

Texas gave up that land so they could keep slavery:

“When Texas sought to enter the Union in 1845 as a slave state, federal law in the United States, based on the Missouri Compromise, prohibited slavery north of 36°30' parallel north. Under the Compromise of 1850, Texas surrendered its lands north of 36°30' latitude.”

Tell me more about how critical race theory shouldn’t be taught in school.

I am a grown ass man and I just learned about this 5 minutes ago.  Fuck everything about trying to hide the sins of our past.

I think Ishmael Mobydick would really flip out if he learned how sperm whales sleep

#elaborate?

Ok

If Herman Melville knew this we'd have a whole chapter about the pillars of damnation