Attention!!

My girlfriend is very cute. That is all.

She framed! My favorite picture of us!!

do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

do yoo evew say someting and den tink “wow dis isn’t even a bit!! im just wike dis UwU”

This post has been UwU-ified!

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

Definitely going for the cheeseburger one, perfect for when I have that cheeseburger craving.

ive read your fanfictions by the way

youre all freaks

i spend my days wrestling with and fighting other men, getting sweaty and hot in a skintight spider themed costume. i didnt say i wasn't a freak too

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

i may be stupid

you shut your whore mouth

i won’t hesitate bitch

stop being mean to me

when this post hits 69420 im turning off reblogs

YES I MISSED THE DEADLINE everyone shut up. on april 20 reblogs are going off for realsies this time. cash in while you can

Readers have context you may want to know: It is May 3.

imagine if you will, a fairly dry survival crafting game in which you live in a bunker and must periodically venture out to scavenge food, set up turrets for attacking monsters, etc

now, your computer inside the bunker has a game-inside-a-game on it which is a charming farming sim of undeniably greater quality and scope than the survival game you're playing. therefore, the object of the game becomes to keep your bunker secure so you can play the farming game more.

now, once you achieve the highest rating in the farming game, a secret shop inside it unlocks, and one of the novelty items you can purchase is a game console, giving you access to games-inside-a-game-inside-a-game. most of the games for it are typical mobile shovelware, but one of them is a highly polished, extremely brutal precision platformer with amazing level design and production values exceeding that of the survival game and farming sim combined.

it is only at this point that the purpose of this entire contrivance becomes clear: to create the most deranged speedrun community the world has ever seen.

a couple years back i made a post about life advice and one of the tips i gave was 'cheat at solitaire if you want to', and i've been thinking of that since.

like 16 year old me had no idea what i was saying. i was talking out of my ass. but yeah. yeah, cheat in solitaire. make your life easier, even if it's not how it's supposed to be lived, even if it's not how everyone else is living. get a cane, get a hot pack, quit school, cheat at the game that only you are playing, in ways that will only ever benefit you.

peek at the next card. get a shower chair. it's okay. you're the only one playing and you're playing for you.

A computer is a type of inefficient space heater that can display pictures of boobs.[1]

I had an upsetting dream last night.

Pros and Cons of growing out your hair:

Pros:

Cons:

finally finished this painting i sketched out months ago… please click for better quality i know tumblr is gonna kill it (reference used)

Oh my god this is a painting

Guys its a painting

GUYS THIS IS A PAINTING

Me: This is not a painting at all I don’t believe it even though everyone is saying it and the artist themselves said it

*clicks for better quality and zooms in*

Oh my goodness this is a painting

holy shit this is a painting

Artist is Wizard of Barge, poet is Aled Harris!

Imagine all the poly drama now that starts with someone sending this to the group chat: