Okay, Lilah, you're such a good writer and I love all of the Steve stuff you've written. For him, how about "how long have you been standing there?"and/or "I can't believe you talked me into this."β€οΈ
a/n: this bad boy is too long i am Sorry
summary: steveβs got a crush on his friend and robin wonβt stop giving him shit about it to ask her out. he snaps and unfortuantely the lady herself hears it.Β
wc: 1.2k
βDude, just ask her out already. Youβre gonna make me sick.β
Itβs Robin who says it, not even looking at him. Her legs are up on the table, and sheβs flipping through a magazine, and if he didnβt know better, heβd think sheβs utterly uninterested in the topic. Except he knows sheβs not, because sheβs using their break to bother him.
Again.
βI donβt see why it matters,β Steve replies, looking down at his hands, instead of at her. He hates talking about this. He hates it.
βReally?β Robin says, putting the magazine down in a dramatic flourish, βYou donβt see why it would matter to ask out your friend, who, I donβt know, youβre in love with?β
Sheβs goddamn loud for al the shit she gives, him, and theyβre in Starcourt, and honestly, anyone could hear-
βCould you keep your voice down?β Steve says frantically, and heβs- heβs so fucked.
This is the third time this week someoneβs talked to him about her. And he has no idea what the hell to say.
Because itβs not hard, heβs not subtle. Sheβs his friend, yeah, and sheβs also fucking gorgeous, beautiful in that way that catches you off guard. And she always does catch him off guard, always surprises him with new ways Β he can fall for her. Itβs not fair, how lovely she is, how quickly he went from stranger to friend to his internal narrative around her always being look at me, just once, I love the way you look at me.
She has this way of looking at him, like heβs the center of her vision, like heβs all she sees. And she listens to him, laughs at his jokes and treats him with kindness, and itβs a testament to how ridiculously greedy his about her affection that no matter how much time she spends with him, he still thinks oh, what if you liked me just a little more.
Sheβd have said something if she did like him, though. She wouldβve.
And so now, heβs just stuck, half in love with a girl who loves but just not enough, and all his friends seeing it wrong. It was fine when it was Dustin, giving him shit about moon-eyes around her (which like, fair) but then El had asked him, wide-eyed and innocent why if he likes her he hasnβt asked her to be his girlfriend, and that. That was shit.
And Robin, now. Again.
βHey, Dingus, if you ask her out-β she starts up again, and itβs really, really shitty. Because of course he thinks about it, plans it in his head all the time. He thinks about what it would be like if she said yes, the slow bloom of her smile and how sheβd light up.
He thinks about what it would be like to be her boyfriend, to kiss her smile and to be who she reached out for, always. He thinks about how sheβd look at him, the warm rosy gaze only for people in love. And itβs not going to happen, itβs not, and he knows Dustin and El and Robin, they mean well. They do. But itβs just fucking sad, because theyβre wrong> Theyβre wrong and itβs the worst because he just wants them to be right.
βIf I ask her out what, Robin? Sheβs just gonna say no, and sheβs not ever gonna look at me in the same way. And I canβt do that, okay? Sheβs my friend, and yeah, I might be a little in love with her but nothing I say is gonna make me less of an asshole and make her like me. And Iβm lucky she even wants to be around me, so Iβm not gonna push my luck okay? Can we just drop it?β
And Robin blinks, just for a second. He runs his hands through his hair, and he isnβt going to fucking cry, he might not be that asshole he was in high school but crying about a girl in front of his friends is just. No. No.
βDude.β
βUh, hi guys,β he hears someone say, and for a second he didnβt want to look up because he knows, he knows whoβs voice that was, and heβs fucked. Heβs so fucked.
Sheβs there, and sheβs looking at him with wide eyes and shocked expression and this is it, this is what heβd been worrying about since he realized how far gone he was for her.
βWhy donβt I watch the counter and you guys can talk in the back?β Robin says, the asshole, smiling before shoving them in the back room and itβs all too fast, too much. Terrible. Terrible.
Thereβs silence for a beat in the back room, and heβs in this stupid sailor costume in front of the girl he adores, about to be rejected, and he hates everything. Every goddamn thing.
βHow much did you hear?β he hears himself say.
βSo,β he hears her say, and despite his last thought, he still loves her voice, clarion and lovely, βYou like someone? What was that about?β
Itβs too late to hide things and honestly, heβs not sure he has the nerve.
βItβs uh, Itβs you. I like you. Sorry about- yeah. Sorry.β
Heβs such a dumbass, a fucking idiot and now sheβs going to let him down easy, tell him heβs great but she just doesnβt feel that way and itβs going to be-
βReally?β and he has to look at her, when she says that. Because she sounds breathless andβ¦and happy, like she can barely believe it, and it occurs to him he always wants he to sound like that. Always wants to be the reason sheβs happy.
He steps closer to her, somehow possessed my courage.
βYeah, of course, I uh, I thought you knew.β He doesnβt sound smooth or charming but none of it is registering because sheβs smiling, and oh, her handβs reaching out for his and-
Theyβre holding hands. Theyβre holding hands, and sheβs smiling at him, and he can smell her perfume and sheβs close, sheβs really close-
βNo, I didnβt,β she says, and her eyes are on him, focused and rosy like he wanted, βI didnβt think- I donβt know what I thought. I didnβt think that.β
Absurdly close, thatβs how close she is. Sheβs close and sheβs still holding his hand, and itβs embarrassing how much he wants her to want him. To want him back.
βSo what do you think?β heβs not sure how heβs even coherent at this point when the only thing he can focus on is the curve of her cupidβs bow and he close it is to his own.
She smiles at him, like heβs the best thing in the world, and some things are constant, like how even now, when sheβs so close and looking at him exactly how he wanted her to, heβs thinking always, always look at me like this.
βI like you too. Thatβs what I think.β
βThatβs, thatβs really cool. Not cool, I mean, itβs great-β
She laughs, and heβs stupid but heβs never felt smarter, never felt taller.
She kisses him quick, but for some reason it doesnβt shock him. He kisses her back, arms around her waist and her arms ending up around her neck. Sheβs the best thing that heβs ever loved, the softest thing heβs ever held. Sheβs warm and bright and never too much, and when she pulls away to smile at him, her forehead on his, well. Nothing on earth could be better.
(Also, he needs to remember to thank Robin.)
this...this is IT
