i have a bucket of charcoal burning in my garage and a bottle of klonopin in my stomach. i am going to die. thank you all for being part of my life.
if, by some miracle i do live through this, i probably will not come back here.
love, ace
4/9/18
hoseok, introducing taehyung to the boys predebut: that one over there is namjoon he has a uh...
hoseok, conspiratorially: ~shallow anus~
namjoon, putting down his ramen: why do you- why do you have to tell everybody-
yoongi: what the fuck, people actually tell their crushes they like them?
jimin: what do you do then?
yoongi: i die? what sort of question-
[after that one english interview]
namjoon: so how’d you convince the whole group to betray me? what’d you offer them?
jungkook: i asked them if they wanted to embarrass you, and they instantly said yes.
taehyung: you remember the plan if i ever get shot, right?
hoseok: of course.
taehyung: tell me so i know you know.
hoseok: in case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, i am to sing "MMMMM WHATCHA SAY" no matter the circumstances.
taehyung, nodding: good.
yoongi: anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid
jungkook: yoongi.
(sees a spider)
seokjin: [screams]
hoseok: [screams]
yoongi: [screams even louder not necessarily because he's afraid but really to establish that he's better than them]
namjoon: hey, you're hot
seokjin, offended: um excuse me
namjoon: uh like uh.. boiling water,,, cause you make my noodle soft... uh bye
bighit's tutor: okay boys let's talk about the big bang theory-
hoseok: i hate that show!
namjoon: idiot! he's not talking about the show he's talking about the porno-
jimin: hey you know what time it is?
namjoon, contemplatively: you ever really think dude, about paper towels
jimin: no
jimin: what time is it
namjoon, shaking his head and walking away: i don't believe in time dude
yoongi: i've got a five year plan for world domination.
namjoon: five years? cool. i've got the next about two hours planned, and then there's just darkness and possibly some dragons.
mcdonald's cashier: what can i get you?
jimin: one vodka please.
mcdonald's cashier: um, sorry, this is mcdonald’s.
seokjin, to jimin: amateur
seokjin: me means one McVodka please
yoongi, to an anti: oh, you wanna talk to my boss?
yoongi, into the mic: bang pd, some little bitch wants to talk to you
taehyung: Z is just a sideways N.
jimin: it’s 2am, please stop.
taehyung: Zo.
seokjin, on the phone with namjoon: keep an eye out for taehyung. he tends to wander off
namjoon: seokjin what
namjoon, seeing that taehyung is missing: i am totally capable of that.
seokjin:: you lost him didn't you
namjoon, running through the grocery store: no no no. he's right next to me.
seokjin: i can hear it in your voice... look in the dairy case.
namjoon: do you honestly think that he'd fit in-
taehyung, inside the dairy case:
namjoon, yanking on the doors: yep he's right here right with me not in the dairy case
seokjin: the doors don't pull. they slide.
namjoon, slowly sliding the door open:
yoongi: i don't let my sexuality define me.
also yoongi: move, i'm gay.
yoongi: but who can i trust?
namjoon: yourself!
yoongi: haha, no