It’s amazing how much baking you can do when you follow all the goddamn directions. Baking is not a category in which you can fuck around unless you have tons of experience.
"Cooking is an art, but baking is a science."
"i am a god" in the most neutral possible tone
he's learning
I think we should put this on every post people try to fuck around on
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen about the whole Musk Twitter Event because imagine being so bad that John Green, the man who was famously run off Tumblr by literal maniacs editing his post to a serenade to cocks in the Green Cock Incident, considers Twitter to be The Worst Site, ie worse than Tumblr. Insane
Man's been pretty funny i wont lie
A pleasant surprise.
When he goes back into the dirt
i can’t believe this little shit has a completely armored back and then sleeps belly up just to dare predators to fuck with it
Six-banded armadillo (Euphractus sexcinctus).
The person in the video is speaking Brazilian Portuguese, which is my native language, so here’s what’s being said as well as a little bonus:
“You’d think he’s dead. He’s just cooling himself off in the sand. Here, check this out. Oop! What’s up, bro? You sleep well?”
Pride season is approaching and if I hear ANYONE speak poorly of bisexual women with boyfriends/husbands I’ll pop all your tires okay thx for listeninggg <3
Same goes for bi men in relationships with women, kthxbye
I sent this to my dad, who's been a boiler tech for 30 years.
“Of the two ways you can explode a boiler, that’s the best one” isn’t the comfort your father thinks it is
oestrogen could've saved them 😿
i. want to forcefem them
nuh uh not leavin this in tags @mrmallard nope
Potion of fucking idiot
his videos make me feel like I'm awake at 5 in the morning against my will and everyone else at the party is either unconscious or staring at the corner like the blair witch
This man is Dionysus. He started off making a fun little cocktails and has dissolved into pure hedonism. I am here for it.
tired: mermaids are all women
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture
marine scientist: what’s your gender?
merperson: what’s a gender
marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?
merperson: i’m merfolk
marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?
merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?
It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.
Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that
Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)
Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*
Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK
OH MY GOD
So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.
That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.
A very disappointed lesbian cruise is what’s going to happen
The true difference between an alien designed by a writer vs an artist is a writer gives an alien 16 fingers per hand while an artists gives them 3
Greek mythology
the horror you mustve felt as an amphora designer when they came out with the hundred handed ones...
Hesiod: Typhon has 100 snake heads on his shoulders
Artist: yeah no screw that
Hesiod: Cerberus has 50 heads
Pindar: Cerberus has 100 heads
Artist: three. three is a nice number
Homer: Scylla has 6 heads on her shoulders and 12 legs
Artist: you know what? I just wanna draw a topless weird mermaid
At least they found a way to include the crotch-dogs, those are important.
At least they found a
way to include the crotch-dogs,
those are important.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
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🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸
Mr. Gaiman, what's the best thing being famous?
I don't think there is one. It's pretty awful. I'd trade it for being unknown any day.
No matter how many famous people talk about how being famous sucks, our social order still worships at the altar of fame and still sees fame as this Thing To Be Sought At All Costs.
Like, even billionaires--who could live happily on their anonymous yachts--seek public attention, and are willing to spend lavishly to experience fame (think of the Starbucks CEO, whose name I hilariously cannot remember, who paid hundreds of millions of dollars to run for President, even though everyone knew he would never become President).
But being famous does suck. It's just (for me anyway) very hard to stop seeking even after you recognize it sucks. Like, Tony Hawk once said that he'd done all the drugs and the worst of them by far was fame, and that has been my experience as well. It's a drug. If a little attention feels good, more must feel better. If the attention makes you feel miserable, or you feel withdrawal when it isn't in your life, that must be because you don't have enough of it, and if you just had a little more, then you would feel the thrill of it again, when in reality it just makes you sicker and sicker.
Now, having enough money, which I do, is a huge huge huge privilege, especially in a late-stage capitalist society, because wealth is the closest one can feel to secure in a society that runs on precarity. But wealth and fame have become decoupled of late; there are famous tiktokers making minimum wage. And the fame part of being famous? It's a really destructive force in the lives of people who experience it, and yet often they cant stop seeking it, just as we all often continue to seek stuff that have become destructive.
Ripley's Jesus, Fuck, Really? Fuck.
Ripley's Yeah Sounds About Fucking Right
Ripley's That's What I've Been Saying!!
i honestly cant believe the normal amount of wanting to be another gender is zero. like arent you sick of yours yet lol
people with cis mutuals rb this pleeeeaseee
