that-salty-h0e

Zendaya at the 2024 Met Gala (May 6, 2024)

vampirism poses the question "what if there was a fundamental, horrible, unending well of want in your soul that, if truly satisfied, would lead to great pain for all those you hold closest and, in turn, their absolute and total revilement of you?" and naturally as a person with no problems I don't relate to this in any way at all.

vampirism also poses the question "what if someone you loved, through no fault of their own, needed something from you, and giving it to them and seeing them happy provided you the greatest joy, and you were the only one who could do it, but at the same time it was slowly draining all your life out of you?" which is also a completely unrelatable idea to me because I'm a normal person with no issues.

i still can't get over the sheer AUDACITY of iroh going to ba sing se. like did it work? yes. but ONLY because the dai li was too busy following around some bald kid looking for his dog to notice him

like i cannot emphasize enough how fucking stupid this plan was. the siege of ba sing se ended 5 years ago. people know what iroh looks like, to the point where he once got recognized by a random army captain at a hot spring and almost got his hands broken about it. and yet he rolls up to a city that has a vested interest in recognizing him and secret police force with zuko. zuko. like i could buy that no normal citizen would look at their tea shop guy and assume he was secretly an evil general, okay. but it's one thing to just be Mushi from the Tea Shop With an Unfortunate Resemblance to General Iroh, and another fucking thing entirely when Lee the Tea Server Who Looks Weirdly Similar to Prince Zuko is standing right next to him literally twenty-four seven!! like at least get different jobs hello????

every decision iroh makes is the decision of a man fully prepared to commit to the bit. will this succeed? who knows. but it will be very funny if i pull it off

Fortnite, are you sure about this? Did you think it through?

this made me laugh so hard

Favourite historical drama trope is when there's some random kid involved in the proceedings and they ask them their name and it's someone who grows up to be really famous, but it has no bearing on the plot. Like, "What's your name, boy?" "Nicolo Machiavelli" *chef's kiss*

Even better is when it's some name that they almost certainly wouldn't have called themselves at that point in their life, like "What's your name, boy?" "Pope Gregory I The Great"

It's also great when they're doing a juvenile version of the thing that they're most famous for, like "Wow, little Marty sure likes nailing things to doors, Mrs. Luther. Might get him in troubleone day." "Yes, we're thinking of sending him to Reformation school."

I'd just like to clarify that this is charming when it happens in historical fiction. I hate it to my back teeth when it happens in a prequel.

Sokka's girlfriend looked great today.

im obsessed with the idea that gothamites 100% know who all the batkids are, like “ for sure Dick Grayson is nightwing #thebuttsmatch” and they figured out all their identities and who it correlates to, “ofc the newest robin with all the swords is Damian Wayne!!” but they refuse to even consider Bruce and The Batman being the same guy. it just doesn’t make sense?? Brucie Wayne, dressing up as a bat and calling himself vengeance???? as if???? also he’s from bristol???? can’t possibly be Brucie. Like they genuinely believe that Bruce is the father to a whole gaggle of themed vigilantes and just doesn’t know it. Anytime his kids disappear during a gala, he gets a bunch of pitiful looks and he can’t leave bc everyone’s looking at him now??

This actually works into a lot of ppls theories that Brucie is The Batman’s sugar daddy, bc clearly they’re together and co parenting the batkids??

I hate waiting for things to stop being popular so i can enjoy them

Can I interest you in not one or two... But THREE things that are no longer popular as they used to for you to enjoy?

Yes tell me the things !!

1. Supernatural

2. Doctor Who

3. Sherlock (BBC)

I despise you and you won't survive when I am in charge in 14 and a half years

Twitter users are defending their right to assume Picasso was a renaissance artist. Tiktok users think watching any film made outside the US makes you a snob. “Replace classic lit with YA and fan fiction” discourse is flourishing. I think we’re just living in anti intellectual times.

it's not anti-intellectualism it's anti-snobbery

Let me ask you this: how many “snobs” have you actually met? Because I have met many people who take interest in art history, watch vintage film or films from films from outside the US (which by the way are not all “arthouse” films), or read and cherish historically and culturally significant literature. But I have never met anyone who will treat me like I’m a bad person for watching Mama Mia or just wanting to be entertained once in a while. I have, however, met people who think art history is stupid and pointless and that those who study it deserve to live in poverty, who are xenophobic and dismissive toward any art made outside the US (or western Europe for that matter), or roll their eyes at people who read literature they consider boring because they’ve never given it a try. In fact, most of the people I know who you would consider “snobs” out of projected insecurity are cautious to bring up their interests because they think they’ll be made fun of. Is anti intellectualism “anti elitist?” At times, but it’s the sort of pseudo populism that fits comfortably within contemporary right wing discourse. Have you paid any attention to politics the last decade or so? If you are allergic to culture and new information, fine. Just don’t claim the moral high ground for it.

you could have just asked for her wig instead of snatching it like that

...he is weaving the chocolate. Do you copy, this bitch is WEAVING CHOCOLATE

We are so damn lucky Chocolate Guy has a passion for chocolate and crafting beautiful, lifelike desserts.... because if he chose to put this level of work, dedication, and sheer determination into anything even slightly nefarious (instead of nearly breaking the laws of physics in order to create culinary masterpieces) we would be so epically fucked.

did I really just watch this man cheerfully force a block of chocolate through a pasta making machine?

Why don’t YOU worry about finishing mindhunter, Netflix.

zhou enlai stealing food from nixon, marking the beginning of chinas imperialist domination of america

Fucked up how humanity discovered electricity and radiation and made machines and learned to make airplanes and cured diseases and our takeaway isnt that "Some Magic Is Real And Here's Why", but that magic is fake this is big boy science and it's totally not magical

Me upon being isekaid to a fantasy world: you say you dont have magic but you conjured up that frog the other day whats with that

Wizard who spent decades mastering his craft, understands how and why it works, and processes it entirely as a regular part of his day to day life: did you just call creature conjuring magic

Works the other way around too in isekais.

that wizard: and you said you don't have magic in your world but there are lights that come on, that do not use candles or flames or emit any heat at all, the moment that you walk into a room? you don't even have to say anything?

me, squirming uncomfortably: for a while there an earlier version ran off of two claps

the wizard: an earlier version of what? the spell? the spell you use to make the lights come on?