we are demigods.

Unpopular opinion time, but maybe the reason we’re seeing a decline in the severity of trans people’s dysphoria is because there’s been an increase in trans representation and the visibility of trans bodies, and it’s helping shape a healthier expectation and understanding of what it means to be a [insert gender here].

Like, not to talk about my junk, but my bottom dysphoria was ridiculous before I was exposed to images of men who looked like me, and now it’s kinda… become a less essential component of my transition and my security in my identity as a man, you feel? And even seeing trans women kind of helped disconnect those parts from masculinity in my brain in a way that’s made it easier to accept what I’ve got going on.

I mean, I still have debilitating dysphoria about a lot, I’d say most, aspects of my body on most days, but every time I see, like, a cool dude chillin’ with no binder on, there’s a little part of me that remembers there’s no right or wrong way to be a man and that I don’t have to constantly compare myself to cis guys.

I think it may also have to do with a lot of other body positivity movements that are happening.

Like fat positivity - all the talk around breasts exists with the implicit assumption that people are skinny. Seeing and talking about fat people really changes assumptions of what chests ‘usually’ look like.

Like positivity for black and brown bodies - seeing cis women with broad shoulders and flat hips and chests and huge muscles, with broad faces and strong jaws and skinny lips, or cis men with petite figures and slight builds and curvy butts and thighs, with round faces and delicate features and long eyelashes…really highlights how very specific the image people have of ‘regular bodies’ is.

Like the movements about accepting your body instead of liking it too - people feel freer not to judge what they like and what they want to change, and instead focus on what they want to do with their bodies, and I think that eases up on a lot of the changing-to-match-expectations which can make dysphoria a lot worse, whether or not it’s even happening consciously.

And I think that trans (and especially nonbinary) body positivity helps a lot of people who are self-conscious or upset about their body for other reasons, too.

Photos of gay trans male activist Lou Sullivan throughout his life, as presented in Lou Sullivan: Daring to be a Man Among Men by Brice D. Smith

I never see historic trans male posts and I’m crying thank you

Reminder that it really doesn’t matter what ways you’re marginalized, if you’re not black you’re just as capable of anti blackness as white cishet people. No amount of “but I’m gay!”, “but I’m trans!”, or “but I’m not white!” changes that.

And being neurodiverse/disabled isn’t an excuse for anti blackness either.

Don’t like this post if you’re not gonna also reblog it.

Boost my voice, don’t just like it for woke points.

I’d fucking love it if white people didn’t use this post to pat themselves on the back. I guarantee that no amount of “don’t people know this already?” or “isn’t this obvious?” will actually make you a good ally to black people.

The only things that will make you a good ally to us is listening to us, boosting our voices, defending us when we need it, calling out your fellow whites when they display overt and/or covert racist behavior, and checking yourself consistently.

Ah the joys of semantics... I tried a different way of merging screenshots so it'd be a little easier to follow, but we'll see if Tumblr scrambles the order.

Anyway, this whole ~chat~ was based off this thread post.

For referrence, the thing that apparently upset them was that I used the tag "enbyphobia" to sort it on my own blog. They kept referencing that the "op" of the thread post wouldn't like it, as though on this post of over 30k notes, which I reblogged from a totally different person (@demigender-positivity ), that should matter? My response was not even written "to the op" of the thread but to the 3rd commenter down it, and to people harassing the kid (elrisworld) in general. And it was only used as a tag.

They kept messaging me over the course of over a week because everytime I gave a response they waited days to respond. Each time I thought that maybe they had accepted my response or moved on, but sure enough they'd be back... And I think it all perfectly demonstrates how not to speak to someone just because of a word choice difference.

Which - let's be honest - was more of an excuse just to request I and no one else ever use the term "enby". Tagged or not.

Tldr:

Me: This sounds a lot like people who ask no one else use "queer" because they personally dislike it

Them: No its totally different. Don't use "enby" because some of us personally dislike it. Just use the exact same word but spelled differently.

Me: The spelling of a word doesn't change the word itself. Its still the same word and pronounced the same way. We are also free to use the terms we like on our own blogs.

Them: Since you don't agree with me you aren't listening to me.

----

Moral of the story? If you personally are not comfortable with "enby" then that's fine. But don't ask others to not use it. Its literally just a spelled out pronounciation. Also, bullying others who do use it (saying they are harmful or juvenile, while you are somehow more mature for not using it) is wrong and is ageism. Associating a non-age related term with a negative, age-related conotation is exactly ageism. If you feel it sounds too youthful to use, then by all means don't use it. But don't tell others to feel the same way when to them it sounds fine. It is by definition not an age related term. Percieving it as an age-related term is one's own agency.

Incredibly written, and I hate that you had to expend so much energy for this. People who expect so much answers from one person really need some self reflection. What bothers me about this fake-woke take that this person is saying that nonbinary people are mostly of color and while that's true, literally countless people of color said we should NOT use "nb" as nonbinary because it means "non-black"! so their argument is. So backwards.

everyone be like how can i infantilize nonbinary people today

yall be like “all nonbinary cuties are super valid!! precious space babies!!! joyfriend!!! hehe!!” No Bitch I Pay Rent

what the fuck, “joyfriend”? Look, I was willing to grin and bear “datemate,” but my non-binary ass is 34 goddamn years old. WE ALREADY HAVE GENDER NEUTRAL TERMS FOR THIS SHIT: “date” and “partner.” They great because they aren’t infantilizing, they won’t stand out to anyone, and they won’t make me feel like a jackass

A minor originally tweeted this because they liked it for themselves. Nowhere in their original post did they EVER say to replace s/o or partner. That was THEIR personal preference and everyone bullied a fucking minor.

for context, the original tweet that sparked this entire mess

and their response to the fallout which is frankly more mature and nuanced than all of yall self-proclaimed grownup reactions have been

let people use what they want to. boyfriend and girlfriend aren’t exactly the most mature terms, either, so suck it the fuck up and stop getting angry at people using terms they like.

“transition poses some ethical questions. Such as, from what age should you be allowed to irreversibly change your body.“

This of course completely ignores the fact that puberty makes irreversible changes to your body. But let us just rephrase the question: “from what age do you gain bodily autonomy?” Now it gets very easy to answer: From the moment you’re fucking born.

I’m sorry, I’m reblogging this twice in a row it is that important

Stand up and say it again for the people in the back row. 

straight culture is “breakup prank” being a thing

on their anniversary.

and he still posted it????

Um…excuse me, but why is this labeled as “Straight Culture”? Are you saying this is something only straight people would do, because as a straight person, we aren’t all that stupid. I’m not saying that straight people are better than any other kind of person, I’m just asking that you don’t label us under something so offensive. I mean, how would you feel if I said that (in the right circumstances) this was “gay culture” or “trans culture” or “bi culture”. Doesn’t seem fair does it? Again, I’m not saying all gay/trans/bi people are stupid enough to do this, but neither are straight people. Thank you.

shut up straightie

Oh, fuck you. I tried being as respectful as possible, but yet again you guys just read only what you want! I was just saying straight people aren’t bad people, we are just as good and bad as anybody who is LGBTQ+. You guys want to stop being generalized? Well then stop generalizing us!

straight people are bad

Can you tell me why?

being straight is unnatural

PFGHEYHADFBEHLNCD

WHAT!?

THAT IS LITERALLY THE STUPIDEST THING IVE EVER HEARD! XD

being straight is a sin

You are joking right? Please tell me this is a joke. Surely nobody could be that stupid.

no i’m serious

I’m starting to question how you have the IQ necessary to use a keyboard if you truly think you are correct here.

it says right on the first page of the bible that god hates cishets

I’m going to argue against this in two parts.

“GOD created Adam and Eve and realized cishets were a mistake.” is the opening line of the bible

It is very clearly not. I’m pretty sure that “cishets” was not a term used back when the bible was written.

that’s fake, actually

Ok, I’m done. Say waht you want, but you are wrong and everyone knows it. You can stop trying now. It would be a waste of your energy, not that I care anyway.

they went and googled the opening fucking line lahlahlusdfghajlfghjl;adhgat

straight culture is freaking the fuck out at being slightly made fun of and doing the absolute most to prove they’re right

When I tell people to delete anon hate, to not publish it, it’s not me saying “ignore it and it’ll stop; don’t fight back.” It is 100% petty and spiteful. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better than the person who sent the hate obsessively checking your blog and refreshing and refreshing, waiting for you to reply, and getting increasingly frustrated when the ask they so masterfully crafted never pops up & you just keep posting cute pictures of your pets and talking about how nice your day was.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!

theres this awkward disconnect when well meaning whites use genders from other cultures as an argument for respecting nonbinary ppl. 

like if you are saying “other cultures have these 3rd genders so thats evidence nonbinary is real thing” that doesnt really work because those genders arent nonbinary, they exist out of the context of the western gender binary, theyre part of a different system of genders. cant be nonbinary if theres no binary to begin with. 

but if you are using this as an argument for “the gender binary is a western construct thats been pushed on other cultures and also is completely arbitrary and thats why you should respect nonbinary people” then THAT is a prfectly sound arugment.. 

THANK YOU it’s so fucking difficult to get this through people’s heads.

open letter to cis people

Pride! Show your pride! It’s signed with a thumb starting at mid belly then moving up to top of chest. It’s the same sign for proud too. Be sure to check my page for other LGBT signs!

And guess what? You can buy this in art prints, shirts stickers, mugs, notebook, etc! Just go to carodoodles.threadless.com . Have fun shopping!

[Image description: A poc is signing pride with thumb up handshape, thumb touching mid belly and moving up to top of chest. That person is wearing rainbow colour. Next three images are the same illustration on a iphone, a zipped pouch bag, and a shirt.]

So many of yall havent ever been to a public lgbtqa space and/or support group and only base your politics about gender and sexuality from tumblr posts instead of also reading academic texts or books on the topic and it fucking shows .

Your GSA meetings arent gonna be full of “Mogai libqueers"or whatever you call them and wont have conversations about the difference between demisexual and gray asexuality.Random girls arent gonna assume that you are in a queerplatonic relationships with your best friends.Your therapist isnt gonna ask u to chose microidentities instead of l/g/b/t identities.L/G/B/T people arent gonna be kicked out of “queer cafes” bc people want to make “more space” for “cishet” asexual people and hate LGBT people.Cis straight women who arent into BDSM arent going to call themselves “queer” bc they think “its cool” when there is still alot of institutional and societal violence and discrimination faced by queer people in real world.  Cis straight people arent desperate for entering lgbtqa spaces and arent gonna likely make up “false mogai microidentities” to “feel special “.

The real world is full of cis straight normativity conforming people who still treat lgbtqa people like shit so PLEASE PLEASE stop acting like all these issues I listed are some pressing matters needing to be addressed 24/7 on discourse blogs and memes and like, maybe dedicate more times addressing actual issues faced by lgbtqa people.Stop listening to people here who act like running a discourse blog on tumblr and harassing ace people and people with microidentities is the only good lgbtqa activism and go visit your local lgbtqa groups or read books from legit authors about these issues.

Stop alienating questioning and lgbtqa minors from their school lgbtqa groups and lgbtqa courses in colleges by implying that all lgbtqa activists outside tumblr are bunch of “kweer mogais” who are going to convert lgbt people into shitty microidentities.

For a group of people who scream “Go outside!! 1!!1” everytime someone calls you out on your bullshit, so many of yall sure are detached from reality