Love, Loyalty, Power, Insanity.
You know that part in “Meltdown” where Aeryn says “I love it when you take control” and John says “That’s the drexim talking” and Aeryn raises her eyebrows and says “No it isn’t”. That part makes me FERAL, every time, because while I know it might seem like just a sexy, flirty, throwaway exchange, it’s honestly anything but.
John Crichton is an unhinged bastard with whom Aeryn is hopelessly in love. She is willing to follow him anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. She’ll follow him to the ends of the universe, into the face of mortal danger, and down paths that lead to almost certain death, again and again (and again). She would quite literally follow him into the swirling, all-consuming, universe-destroying vortex of a wormhole if he asked her to (and eventually, he will). She loves him. She respects him. She believes in him. She is loyal to him beyond good sense or reason, and is willing to commit herself to every single one of his impossible, insane, foolhardy plans.
“I love it when you take control” she says, and oh, it’s true. When she says it, I can’t help but think about the many times throughout the seasons we see just how true it is.
Exhibit A: Liars, Guns and Money (s2)
John is at peak instability at the end of this season and he presents a crackpot plan to the group. Aeryn is a freak, so she finds it arousing. Seriously–she’s turned on by his mad genius here. She wants to jump him. When I first watched this scene, I thought “Wow, okay. Aeryn has never wanted to fuck John more than she does at this moment. Interesting. A lot to unpack.” She is slightly scared of (and for) him, but mostly she’s just really into John when he demonstrates his intelligence, charisma, adaptability, ingenuity, and capability as a leader by taking charge of situations–even, maybe especially, when he exhibits the fearless confidence and nonchalant rule-breaking, dangerous risk-taking behavior of an absolute madman (P.S. Aeryn needs therapy).
Exhibit B: Fractures (s3)
She just lost him to a suicide mission, and now he stands before her again, proposing yet another suicide mission. She’s shattered, emotionally decimated, a shell of her former self. She can’t even look at him. And yet… and yet. She still can’t say no. She knows she can’t say no. John has a vision and a plan–a crazy one, as always–and she’s prepared to follow it dutifully, as always. She’ll follow him anywhere. She’ll follow him to his death. She’ll follow him to hers. The level of loyalty she feels to this man… it’s beautiful, and also terrifying.
Exhibit C: We’re So Screwed (s4)
John is insane in the membrane… AGAIN… and delivers another half-baked plan sure to go awry. He is legitimately the most powerful man in the room, and Aeryn has never been more in love. I find this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment deeply poignant; the look they exchange is made of pure love, reverence, sadness, and understanding. It is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking. There’s something sorrowful yet ultimately peaceful about her attraction to him here. Aeryn is in love with and committed to John and by this point, she knows and accepts the risks. She knows he could die. She knows SHE could die. Been there, done that (more than once!). Whereas previous seasons find Aeryn loyal yet conflicted, there’s virtually no conflict here. She knows who John Crichton is and what he is capable of: he’s a man who has been driven to the brink of insanity; who has the most formidable, destructive knowledge locked in his brain; who is able to command rooms full of the most powerful beings; who can bend the fabric of the universe to his will; who can singlehandedly destroy entire galaxies; who is fundamentally pure of heart yet willing to commit atrocities; who has selflessly sacrificed his life to save millions, but most importantly to save her; because, above all, John Crichton is utterly, unequivocally, viciously in love with Aeryn Sun. She knows all of this, and she’s content in her commitment to him. They’ve been through the ringer (and will almost certainly go through it again), but she has resolved to stand by him till the bitter end.
Exhibit D: The Peacekeeper Wars (s5, kind of)
Remember when I said Aeryn would quite literally follow John into the swirling, all-consuming, universe-destroying vortex of a wormhole if he asked her to (and eventually, he would)? Well, here we are, folks. John reaches peak destructive insanity and Aeryn doesn’t falter. Her commitment to him is almost as terrifying as his commitment to his cause and his willingness to do whatever it takes–whatever it takes–to get what he wants. I would say Aeryn follows him blindly, but to suggest that would be an insult to her as an autonomous, self-directed being. She doesn’t follow blindly. She knows what she’s doing by choosing to align herself with John, as much as he knows what he’s doing. And that’s the kicker: John has never been more lucid than he is at the end of PKW. His insane actions have never been more calculated or considered. That’s what makes this the most dangerous and terrifying brand of insanity we’ve ever seen him display. And Aeryn supports him. She joins him. The Aeryn of PKW retains all the inner peace and resolve she had in s4, but with darker and more sinister undertones–this is the most complicated, vivid depiction of Aeryn’s love and unwavering loyalty, respect of John’s power, and willingness to join him in absolute insanity. Together, they make quite a team: destructive, deadly, diabolical. Their commitment to peace is violent. Their heroism is villainous. They are prepared to die for what they believe in, and they are willing to take everyone else with them.
“I love it when you take control.”
Yeah. She does. She really does.
ANYWAY… Gotta love a show wherein a single comedic line (from an episode that could, at first glance, be viewed as little more than fluffy fanservice) is actually important, and speaks to fundamental truths about the characters, their relationship, and their choices over the course of the entire series. Gotta love it.