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Who Even Knows Anymore

@sharkneto / sharkneto.tumblr.com

It's a clusterfuck, what can I say. I like it at least. Always down to talk fics, Five, and TUA in general, just drop me a line. he/him  sharkneto on AO3. Header illustration by Antia Calviz
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sharkneto

sharkneto’s Umbrella Academy fics –

not alone series (all can be read as standalone)

Lonely Drunk - Luther comes home to find Five drunk as a skunk. He just wishes it wasn’t such a common occurrence.

Sleepless - Viktor can’t sleep. He shouldn’t be surprised that Five can’t, either

Had Worse - Five gets a bit drunk and has a small accident. It’s fine; he’s had worse injuries and he takes care of it, so why are Klaus and Diego making it into a bigger deal than it is?

- The Zoo Is Better When It’s Not All Dead - Klaus needs a distraction from missing Ben. Five needs a distraction from… well, everything. Somehow, that means a day at the zoo.

Minor Convenience - Patch pulls Five over once again for underage driving. There’s more to the problem, this time, though.

Simple - Diego runs into Five at the park. He’s just here to catch a mugger. Why does Five always complicate things?

- A Rusty Cog - All the above plus more moments from Five’s POV. Five’s first year back in the real world, and it’s hard. He’ll figure it out. For his family, he’ll figure it out.

shifting together series (AU offshoot of orsumfenix’s The Shifting Mirrors)

Holding It Together (M for graphic violence, multi-chapter) - The Hargreeves are out of the Sparrow timeline but still not home. The timeline they find themselves in is almost right, just with a Five that never time traveled. A race for the Hargreeves to find each other, stay one step ahead of a Commission no longer on their side, and for Five to figure out how to get them home. For real this time.

Nice Things Can’t Last Forever (They Still End Too Soon) - (alternate ending to Holding It Together) In some timelines, things work out. A miracle happens, a tragedy is avoided, a death undone. In some timelines, they don’t. This is the time it doesn’t.

Joining Together - (prequel to Holding It Together, multi-chapter, in progress, sporadic updates) Sarah meeting Number Five was a chance encounter. Deciding to hire him to work in her physics lab with the ulterior motive of helping the lost former-superhero find a positive life-trajectory… now that was a conscious choice.

Other TUA Fics

Sometimes Age Comes Alone (multi-chapter, M for injury) - Five knows an experimental jump like this is a bad idea – especially when lost in the wrong timeline – but he’s willing to gamble if it means he’s not stuck as a goddamn thirteen-year-old. And it does work; just not quite how he planned.

Searching for Good Times (multi-chapter) - What was a simple mission – get into Dad’s creepy hotel, find Five, and get him out – turns into a trip down the rabbit hole, where Allison finds a familiar face has been keeping her brother company and nothing is quite as it seems.

Crueler to Remember (multi-chapter) - Luther and Allison are dropped in the apocalypse and find a familiar face. Apocalypse angst with sibling bonding.

Bone Weary - Five and Delores spend a day in the end of the world at the zoo. (Companion to The Zoo Is Better When It’s Not All Dead, can be read independently)

Cease-fire on the Cleveland Express - Desperate times call for desperate measures and Lila has to team up with the very last person she would ever pick. But Five seems to have an idea of what’s going on and, more importantly, where they can get more information. All they need are two tickets for the 4 o’clock train to Cleveland.

Model Older Brother - Luther and Five build a model airplane together. Soft brotherly bonding.

Lend a Hand - Luther really needs to stop underestimating the lengths Five is willing to go to save his family. (rated M for graphic violence, injury)

He Does Know How To Do Everything - That fic where Five rides a horse

Quite the Apocalypse Scout - When the family wants to go on a camping trip, Diego and Five will join but they won’t be happy about it. At least they can commiserate in their misery together.

Rescue - It’s a family vacation at the beach and Five unexpectedly needs some help from Diego.

Let’s Not Be Rash - The Commission had to have recruited Hazel from somewhere. Hazel has a rough day in the lows of the Great Depression.

let your heart be light (series, 2 fics) - Allison and Five bonding during the holiday season

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froody

One thing that pisses me off is people seeing fish in aquariums (the establishments, not home aquariums) and being like “It’s so sad because the ocean is so big and the tank is so small and they’ll never know freedom blah blah blah-“ I’m not talking about sharks and marine mammals here but the majority of fish are not at all bothered by being in an aquarium instead of the open ocean. Like, I personally would love to be a little clown fish in one of those big reef tanks. Fed regularly. Whole team of people monitoring my health and well-being. No predators. Medicated if I show signs of illness. Aquarium fish have cushy gigs in comparison to their wild companions.

I saw someone say this about a blue lobster that was wild caught and brought to an aquarium. Like dude. It’s a lobster. They’re solitary sedentary creatures. They live in little crevices and they don’t move from them often. They abhor other creatures. Also, this lobster is distinctly bad at being a lobster because it is bright neon blue. I don’t think he’s yearning for the open sea. He’s probably yearning for his next mussel. Which is, coincidentally, the same thing he’d be doing if he wasn’t in an aquarium.

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annevbonny

“the problem is its never gonna be what all the fans want” imo the problem is the majority of fans have bad fucking taste like. if you write a story with the intent to keep editing it in line with what fans want you’re gonna end up with a shitty story. obviously you can take in criticism from early access but once you publish the thing you shouldn’t constantly be retconning characterization wtf. good god

also even if they didn’t have bad taste where is your fucking spine. commit to the bit already you cannot avoid criticism

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spiribia

they should do an MMO where everyone is a shapeshifter and you can go live with animal herds in the wild if you want for a time but you are never entirely one of them, noting that the wild animal npcs partake in behaviors with or make calls to one another that you may not understand the logic of but can try to learn to repeat the musical cadence of. this is true of even the human npcs, whose musical language is the most intricate and complex to learn of all and who will ostracize you readily if you do not use it properly. other players are not marked as players and there is no chat feature. as an elk you may not know if the wolf chasing you is an npc or another player who does not know the same of you, and there is no chat. maybe the players would develop a sort of musical cadence to identify other shifters. no one would like this game and it would not be fun. but i would like it

were you a person? was i one? did it matter?

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