My involvement in the House of Nobles.
This might get a little lengthy, but I’d really appreciate it if you guys would take the time to read it.
When the HoN was announced, I was ecstatic about it. I have always been so excited to see it grow, to be apart of community projects, to do any RP regarding it and to help hash anything out OOCly after the fact. I understand now that this is not how everyone felt and for that, I am truly sorry that I was not able to do more.
When elections were rolling around, I got an immense amount of hate that was never posted as well as Loala’s name on and OOC and IC level spat on the WrA secrets page so much that the mods had to make a post that they would accept asks about me/my character no longer. These were anons in my inbox and theirs that do not know me as a person and clearly did not know Loala either. I had never been a target like that before in game and it was extremely difficult for me to deal with but thanks to the support group of friends I had, I carried on; I didn’t give up.
I won. Then it was because a) Someone got it for me; b) I manipulated my way into the position; c) Because of a popularity contest. I did have help garnering votes; I did. That’s how it works. I rallied people MYSELF and showed them how Loala would be a good candidate and that fell into place all on it’s own. My opposing candidates reached out to ME and that’s when WE decided to support Loala. And lastly - all of them were all just as “popular” on the server as I was. That’s why it was all so close until the last minute. Loala earned her position because she worked for it; it was in no way handed to me/her.
I chose my council and boards and we were all so excited. We made a discord and have had meetings and RP to create so many little storylines that we were getting ready to include the community in. But we also recognized that we had every action and word watched all the time and worse - judged, so we took careful NECESSARY time to plan it all out. Please do not disregard us/me as though we weren’t doing anything. We were trying, but it’s only been a very short time to get it together.
The hate continued. We ignored it. We pressed on. Lately however, it’s gotten worse. A lot worse. I made a discord for it, a number of people joined and we hashed it out - we listened to concerns and the remaining leaders - Bennas and I - as well as Adhelin, a creator of the HoN, talked with them and compiled a document of a completely new idea with everything brought forth to us in attempt to mend what was broken. I posted it in that discord as well as in the HoN one. Inside the HoN one, we got zero response to it. In the other, the responses were little and mostly negative.
So without painting myself as a victim you have Adhelin, Bennas, and I feeling very tired and very discouraged. It sucks. It’s hard. It’s tiring. It’s not fun at that point anymore. This is our pretend time and while I see a lot of people saying “just ignore the hate!” I also notice that a majority do not get near as much. Some people told us to ignore it because we have a number of people involved, but we DO want to create a healthy environment and if we feel we are bringing it down because that’s what we are being told, then why continue?
I hate so much that so many people that I don’t even know/don’t know me feel disdain for me for this project. I never wanted to leave people out or make people feel like they weren’t important enough to be involved. All I wanted to do was magic RP and expand that to the community and I saw this project as a wonderful way to do that. I can speak for myself and my own people when I say that we never ignored or shut anyone out, were always willing to work with others on ANYTHING that regarded us, and cared very much about helping and bettering the community. I KNOW that Adhelin and Bennas wanted that too.
Unfortunately, our actions were perceived as power hungry, inclusive, and just wrong. I’m so sorry that I made people feel that way - I cannot say it enough. It is with this post to those who have not seen the ones I’ve made in discord that I make the official announcement:
My people and I (boards and council) are officially bowing out of the House of Nobles.
The site and tumblr will be left up, but will go untouched from now on. I’m very sorry again if I have disappointed anyone in the past couple months. Please feel free to come to me IC or OOC for anything regarding magic. Loala will still very much be around :)