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Private America

@privateamerica / privateamerica.tumblr.com

Formerly carryonwaywardtimelord I blog about whatever interests me, including fandoms, humor, and more.
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skarchomp

my philosophy is “nothing an individual can do could possibly be worse for the environment than major corporations dumping tons of pollutants into the atmosphere every day but also don’t just toss shit on the ground you idiot have some manners” 

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jayrockin

Anyone else wanna make a conlang with as little standardized spelling as medieval English. Like you just spell things however feels right

People keep adding “lol that’s how french is” to this when France has one of the most rigorously controlled language standardization systems around. They’ve got the Académie française over there frantically trying to make up new French words for stuff like walkman and email to prevent English loanwords from entering common parlance.

I’m not just talking about spelling being disconnected from pronunciation, English is already knee deep in that. I’m tualkng abaut efferee worde beying spelt diferent eich tyme. Absoulut wyrd anarchie. Daythe to perskriptivizm, aul puhwer too thee piepull

Spelle itt howe yoo lyke, but god it shoor isse a fite agnst the autocorrekt

Eyem goweng to throh meye ifonne intoo the seae

yuu peepol hav tuu mutch frii taim on yoor hands foor faks seik

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i’m a show runner for doctor who between 2005 and 2009 i need help budgeting my show here’s what i have:

special affects: 13 dollars and washing a film student’s car for them once every other week so they can do the affects on a microsoft desktop home computer

david tennant’s accent coach: 5 dollars

musical score: 3,000 dollars

ambient light varying in color to bathe billie piper in: 10,000 dollars

please help me my coworkers are so angry at me

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penny-anna

he doesn’t, he’s Scottish and was putting on an English accent for the role

this is literally news to me i feel lied to

would now be a bad time to mention his birth name is David McDonald

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haltraveler

There was another actor named David McDonald and it was against union rules to have two so he had to change it. 

OP, you should make it clear that this budget is not for the Estuary accent that David affected throughout the series, as he already had that skill himself. This budget is obviously for that one episode with Queen Victoria where he, a Scottish person with a Scottish accent playing an English person with an Estuary accent, pretended to have a bad Scottish accent. That was #acting and it was well worth the financial support. My real concerns with this budget are that it appears to be in dollars, and that it implies that British film students have cars. This is unrealistic and unreasonable

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memewhore

Aka men on the bachelor have no taste

I don’t know what generic ass white man they had on but she was too good for him anyway

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florapatite

no but you don’t get it, the reason for the sloth costume is that the bachelors big thing about him is he’s a virgin (i know it’s ridiculous). so she comes out of this god damn limo slowly flailing about and goes, “heeeeeellllooooooo. i heeeeeaaaaard yoooooou liiiiiiiike tooooo taaaaaake iiiiit slooooooooooooooooow” and it was the best thing i’ve ever seen on the bachelor and he definitely didnt deserve her

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cadaverkeys

im gonna get a huge wolf-like husky and give it a name like James or David or Sandra or something. Something really human sounding. And convince everyone who comes to my house that theyre just my friend who was cursed with lycanthropy.

I’m gonna renovate my guest bedroom so it looks really lived in. It’s got posters for like. Wolves and stuff on the walls. And a to do list that has stuff like “pay rent” “turn into dog” and I’m gonna put some scratch marks on the walls and the bed and a chain on the heater. And I’m gonna train the dog to sleep there so it really pulls off the whole effect. This is a really long con plan.

I discussed this idea with a classmate of mine and they pointed out that when i was looking for a room mate and said “you need to be out of the house every full moon and be okay with large dogs” they would surely assume that I was the werewolf in this mix and really this is just the beginning of my life as a weird tv sitcom.

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i honestly have no idea why anyone would ever want to be a famous celebrity or an “““influencer””” for a career in today's world because i, speaking as the dumbest person i know, would not be able to handle seeing all my half-brained decisions put out on display to the entire world. like i would not be able to read a tmz article about me being in the grocery store for three hours and leaving with nothing but cranberry juice and paper towels. or the time i ran straight through a roundabout because i thought it was a speed bump….and stan people on twitter would be dissecting my every move like “this must be an outward manifestation of inner turmoil from a complex mind” like no!!! i’m dumb!!! none of this goes any deeper than me just being my normal dumb self!! anyway what a nightmare 

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pretty shitty how baseline human activities like singing, dancing and making art got turned into skills  instead of being seen as behaviors

so now it’s like ‘the point of doing them is to get good at them’ and not ‘this is a thing humans do, the way birds sing and bees make hives’.

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oak23

One of my marie kondo tidbits is that one time she really did throw out everything that didnt spark joy including her screwdrivers and thought she could get away with tightening a screw with one of her favourite rulers but instead ended up snapping it in half

So when she tells people to consider how an item helps you not fuck up your shit and thats how you find joy, just know its from experience

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I think schools need to emphasize more that they aren’t teaching specific facts but rather skill sets

are you gonna remember your algebra formulas ten years from now? Probably not. Are you going to be able to use basic logic to solve problems? Well hopefully with some solid logic practice, such as math, yeah!

did Shakespeare really mean that all of the themes of dark and light in his plays indicated internal struggle and opposing forces? Who knows! Is the ability to critically analyze a piece of writing and see larger trends and symbols useful? Hell yes!

Schools should really be upfront with students that no, this isn’t going to be wholly applicable, but any amount of school will develop your self-discipline and  overall versatility- and that’s a good thing 

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normalwizard

bears have absolutely no right to be as cute as they are. i want to hug them and pet them. big fluffy dogs, supersized

this thing is one of the most dangerous predators in north america, is bulletproof, and could kill me in milliseconds without breaking a sweat and just. look at his big ole paws and his big ole nose. his wittle ears. i wuv him

human brain: bear will kill you

monkey brain: hehe fluffie

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owlygem

*monkey brain: bear will kill you

Human brain: hehe fluffie

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jaybarou
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Did they stutter?

science: bear will kill you human & monkey brain in unison: hehe fluffyyy

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