Intentional Stochasticity

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

Also, most American restaurant portions are 100% intended as two meals’ worth of food. Some of my older Irish relatives still struggle with the idea that it’s not just not rude to eat half your meal and take the rest home, it’s expected. (Apparently this is somewhat of an American custom.)

Until you’re hitting the “fancy restaurant” tier (the kind of place you go for a celebration or an anniversary date), a dinner out should generally also be lunch for the next day. Leftovers are very much the norm.

From the little time I’ve spent in Canada, this seems to be the case up there as well.

the portions in family restaurants (as opposed to haute cuisine types) are designed so that no one goes away hungry.

volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.

so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.

of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.

it’s not about pigging out until you get huge. treating it that way is pretty disrespectful of our culture. and you know, contrary to what the world thinks, we do have one.

Oh god… I had heard about the “restaurant meals are actually two meals in America” but I assumed it meant you were supposed to order one dish for two people, and not that you’d take the lertovers home.

@strawhat-giraffe

Gonna link back to the original video because it deserves all the views for how adorable and well made it is. I love this:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Icx7hBWeULM

Growing up means accepting that your dream Spanish revival home in California with a clay tile courtyard full of lemon trees might not be attainable… which is why I’m also open to the possibility of a little graystone mansion in the city that I share with my underwear model husband.

this video saved my life

when she says “ooo” I die

They aired this!!!

I can’t

This was aired? JESUS

Exact moment each world leader in turn realizes Trump mis-signed new NAFTA agreement

Ancient Roman gold nipple cover, 1st century AD.

from Czerny’s International Auction House

Well, I didn’t consider it as an alternative until now, but… hell, why not?

Folks, I’m not joking… it could be REALLY an alternative:

Trying to think of a reason not to consider this like

Ha, some sites are jumping on the chance to welcome nipplegate refugees.