I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

feeling egg

oh my god

guys for real im laughing so hard rn

I think the worst part was that she was fighting with an egg

i love 13 year olds

I can’t believe tomorrow is Christmas 1st

@therealjacksepticeye did you know Ryan Reynolds liked your tweet Jack?

I woke up and saw it!!! SO COOL!! Haha

For real?

Yes

Do you amigos want this on a black or a white t-shirt?

Option 1: I have been straight for the last 22 years. But you know, there’s always tomorrow, amigo

Option 2: I have been straight all my life. But you know, there’s always tomorrow, amigo

Option 3: I have been straight all my life. But you know, there’s always tomorrow

Which one?

Brilliant!

It’s gonna be option 2 & 3 in black and in white! This is what we have so far:

I need your feedback, amigos. This is only version 1.0

Version 2.0 We are not done yet

Version 3.0. Yes or no?

Version 2.0 or 3.0? You can vote here:

https://pollmill.com/f/version-2-0-or-3-0-lyzffqt

Leave no amigo behind! We are gonna do both

Version 2.0 with print on the back is available now!

https://teespring.com/stores/writingprompts

Version 3.0 Comic Sans is here!

https://teespring.com/stores/comic-sans

I’m like his mother.  I have to keep him in check. (x)

@markiplier WE NEED TO ADDRESS THIS

OK SO I DID SOME CALCULATIONS 11 boxes of “this variety” and 19 boxes of Idahoan Potatoes. 19 boxes of Idahoan Potatoes are priced at $2.53 per box. Since the other 11 of “this variety” is unknown, we shall just say it is roughly around $2.00 since instant potatoes are around $1.00-$3.00. THUS, 19 x $2.53 is 48.07, PLUS 11 x $2.00 is $22. THIS MEANS MARK SPENT $70.07 (PLUS TAX and gravy) ON POTATOES SO HE COULD SIT IN THEM

Now that is a BIG MOOD.

and we are very thankful

Please be honest.....reblog if you actually care about me

I need to know

No one cares about me and no one is gonna reblog this from me lol

Nonsense, I care about you!!!! 💛💛😊

the fact that Donald Trump will die in my lifetime is a very comforting thought

I’m staying in this bitch ass world just to outlive him

This isn’t art-related, but this is EXTREMELY SERIOUS IF YOU LIVE IN THE US.  The following message is pasted from Reddit user DrDreamtime. I did not write this, but it contains all the most important information you should know. It should be spread as far and wide as possible.

For those that do not know or understand what net neutrality is and would rather see a video instead of a LOT of text, here is a good video by John Oliver on Net Neutrality.

Don’t want to do that? Understandable, it’s a 15 minute video. So heres a simple picture to highlight what things could look like

Please take the time to at least do the first easy step, either of the two options work and take very little time.

If this fails, the possibility of actually having to pay more to access reddit, facebook, and any other website or face massive loading speed increases or even a straight out site-block by your ISP.

Tell him how you feel.

Ajit Pai, FCC Chairman: 1-202-418-1000

Reddit won’t let me post the rest of the FCC contact information, something with the formatting and the automod, I think. You can click here, to go to the FCC’s official contact page.

You need to contact your representatives and senators about Net Neutrality even if they already support it, but especially if they don’t.

Remember that this very thread is only possible because of a free and open internet; kill net neutrality and threads like this might be a thing of the past.

Easy way:

Step 1: Go to BattleForTheNet.com. Step 2: Do what BattleForTheNet.com tells you to do.

-OR-

Text RESIST to 50409 to get help from RESIST Bot. It helps you find your reps, write letters to them, and sends them faxes FOR FREE. Everyone who cares about Net Neutrality should take 5 minutes to write to your representatives, once a week (or a day). Be heard.

The harder, but still very easy way:

Step 1: Find out who your Representative and Senator is/are.

Step 2: Find your Representative and Senator’s contact information.

Step 3: Call, write, or fax to express your feelings on this.

A lot of people are nervous about calling their elected officials for the first time, maybe you don’t know what to say, or how to say it, or even who you’ll be talking to, so here’s what you’ll need to know.

Reminder: Only call YOUR OWN elected officials! Calling Mitch McConnell from sunny Florida won’t do anyone any good, and might actually harm the cause. Only call your own elected officials, period.

Source

Hey

@emkkyes

Hi

Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”

“Yes good”

“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”

“Wait no”

“EAT THEM”

“sasha no”

@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching

She is making a list

It is not easy with her paws but she is making it

shes almost here

Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT

This is not the only Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving, but I’m almost certain it’s the best.

She can be my santa instead of the fat man

otp

Put your sign and your Harry Potter house

Scorpio Slytherin (predictable right?)

Scorpio Ravenclaw

Capricorn, Slytherin.

Scorpio, Gryffindor

Aries, Hufflepuff!

Pisces, hufflepuff lol

Pisces hufflepuff!!!!!!

Virgo slyTHERIN

Taurus, Ravenclaw

Capricorn, Hufflepuff ~

Cancer, Slytherin

Leo, Ravenclaw

Libra Slytherin

Aires, Ravenclaw

Capricorn, Slytherin.

Cancer hufflepuff

Virgo, Gryffindor.

Capriquarius, Slytherin

Gemini, Slytherin

Sagittarius, Slytherin

Gemini, Gryffindor

Let me tell you how I out thieved these two thieves at work.

So I work a retail job on top of many other jobs, and these two girls were in and out of my store at least 8 times. Which is sketchy and pretty much a give away that they were quite obviously stealing things, I’d see them stick their hands in their pockets or in their bags, but I was the only person at work today so I couldn’t stop checking people out in order to confront them…..which im sure they noticed.

Fast forward a few hours when they finally come back in, they had decided to purchase something to seem less suspicious. A 4$ pair of pearl earrings. At this point there is no one else in the store so I think Game On.

While they were scanning the shelves for anything else they might want, I’m looking at their pockets. I can clearly see the small ring through the fabric that they swiped earlier, the outline of tags shoved in their back pockets, amateurs.

Now for those of you that don’t know, I was stranded in Ireland for about a month with little to no money when I was a teenager and had to resort to being shady to get by till my cousin got me a ticket home. 

Long story short, I am an excellent pick pocket. But I only use my powers for good instead of evil now. 

So I followed them around the store pretending to bump into them as I put items back on the shelves, I stole NOT ONLY the product that they took, but everything in their back pockets. Now before you wag your finger at me just hold on a minute. They come to the register to get the one item they decided to pay for, and I’m smiling the whole time.

 I tell them they price and then…I wait. 

The one girl frantically patted her pockets, clearly confused and she looked at the other girl to ask “Where’s my money at?”  This girl is clearly upset at this point and I suggested “Oh hey maybe you dropped it?” in the most sincere retail voice I can force my vocal cords to produce. Her and her friend drop to their knees and start searching for it. I let them continue like that for 10 minutes before I tell them that I had found it earlier and forgotten. 

“You really should be careful the more you have in your pockets the easier it is for your money to fall out :)))))” I say, the statement unnerved them, they didn’t know if i KNEW or not. But they awkwardly shook it off with a laugh and I start to ring up the earrings again. BUT THIS TIME, I reach over the counter and start to ring up the items I had taken from their pockets. I dropped the tags on the counter and the merchandise hit the table hard, just like these girls mouths hit the floor. 

You should have seen their faces it looked like someone had sucked the very essence right from their bodies. “Oh no she did not.” The one girl whispered as she checked her pockets yet again. Yes, Yes I did :) i’m beaming, their reaction added ten years to my lifespan. They apologize, laughing it off like it was a funny joke. But I’m not done yet.This time I look them dead in the eyes and go “Would you like me to ring out whats in your bags too before security gets here?” 

Shock, pure dismay and anguish come over them, they look at each other. Each of them looks at me like I have personally came and shot their dogs. I AM LIVING, I’m reveling in the situation. Slowly, they lift their bags and dump out more products than Mary Poppins could shove in her bottomless purse. I start ringing it all up. They look horrified. A total of 400$ worth of items. I hold the fate of these girls in my hands and they know it. Over 200$ is a felony larceny charge. But I think they have suffered enough and jail is not fun so I present the ultimatum. 

“You buy it all and I’ll let you go.” 

and that is how I made all my sales goals and fucked with some shoplifters. 

Holy shit ur my idol, that was so beautiful I might cry

The world @ America.

So many things kill me in this video:

1. How she just tappin random buttons in the beginning

2. How she says “I am confusion”

3. The way she says “explain”

This is actually my favorite video ever and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve reblogged it

I didn’t actually know Americans pronounced it differently until I saw this video for the first time. I was deeply confused.