💎Noragami 💎 Yukine’s Transformation 🌼

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Yukine, the famous regalia of Yato, the God of Calamity, is ‘forever’ 14, although it is inevitable for the mind to grow as you experience more things. He is at the time of growing up in fact, and having someone that is just losing their innocence and finding about the curses of humanity as a shinki to a God that has experienced almost (wink~love~wink) everything, it becomes extremely difficult to maintain equilibrium that is required between a weapon and a God. What does Yato know about taking care of and/or raising a kid that is in the midst of puberty when he began murdering and killing since birth? 

In the near beginning of this whole series, Yukine was born as Yato’s beautiful sword, but he was undoubtedly a trouble maker. It must’ve come from his background, living in a dysfunctional family with an abusive father (or the fact that he got Yato as his god lol), yet his actions this time have serious consequences on another person. But, Yukine’s lack of knowledge at this age hasn’t discovered empathy, which is to blame. To lose ones innocence isn’t just about discovering the horrors of this world, but it is also about learning how you aren’t the only human being living on it. A prominent scene that proves as an exemplar was when he stole the few changes that were to be donated to charity at the convenience store and without knowing the consequences of his several actions that led up to that point, Yato nearly dies. 

With such horrific realization after Yukine forcefully confesses under the cleansing ritual, he cleans himself up. Starting his life over again, he learns what Hiyori learns at school, works for Daikoku, and is faithfully training to become a better person as well as a shinki to Yato. In fact, he does so well for a while, he becomes a Blessed Vessel. With such pride that Yato displays, Yukine is happy. But that does not mean that there aren’t several more trials he has to pass until he becomes someone that controls his own life to the fullest. With more accomplishments comes more difficult obstacles to overcome. He views Yato as his guardian, someone his life is dedicated to which is a given, but little things like jealousy towards other Shinki’s (like Nora or Kazuma) makes his emotions always gets the best of him. And there is still so much that he doesn’t know about himself and his god, so who can blame him? It was like he got a huge slap on his face when Nora appeared in front of his feet. What was the point of being something of great value when Yukine doesn’t even know anything at all? Always being kept in the dark even though it was for his own good. He is foolish, stubborn, and also an easy victim to manipulate, which brings us to the present Yukine (that broke me to pieces T-T). 

As the audience, I wonder why he made such a decision to betray Yato and become Fujisaki’s (Yato’s ‘Dad’) shinki instead. But the more I place my feet in his perspective, he also must’ve felt such betrayal when Yato, his first ever loving- guardian that carried him with such pride, took Kazuma instead to defeat Fujisaki. Their bond that took so long to mend just snapped and Yukine also decided to play his game, but again with his adolescent mind, we all know Yato took Kazuma to keep Yukine safe (sobbing…). 

With such menacing feelings plus the traumatizing reveal of his past, Yukine was absolutely terrified to find out that he was abandoned by his mother and his sister on top of getting killed by his own father. Now a “Parental-figure” is so so so important to Yukine. He was even manipulated into becoming Fujisaki’s shinki because Fujisaki literally said that he will not abandon Yukine like Yato did and for Yato to have also kept such a huge secret of Yukine’s past (even though it was for Yukine’s well-being once again… ) he felt even more treachery. In the manga panel that I added above, I was wondering why Yukine was crying after he stabbed Yato. Didn’t he despise Yato now? Wasn’t his bloodlust so strong that he was blinded by it (legit, he was acting like a whole new person)? Didn’t his new transformation into something in-human lock away all the good memories of Yato as he became Fujisaki’s shinki? But… I realized Yukine felt so much exasperation and confusion from the idea of a “parental- figure” that he felt tricked once again. “Why did Yato treat me so well? Father’s aren’t supposed to be good! Well, he also treated me distantly at the same time–but he’s good. Why??? I’m confused!!!”

With that infuriating anger of realizing how well he was treated by someone who wasn’t his actual “father”–reminded of how his own father killed him— Yato’s good treatment of Yukine brought back tough memories for him and his image of a “parent”. In their fight, he stabbed Yato, but it is later seen that he thought he stabbed his blood-related father. Although Yato’s treated Yukine with utmost love, even the littlest thing caused sensitivity to his picture of a parental figure. Of course he would want to stab his own father, but it just seemed like right then, his image of a parental-figure merged into one with Yato as Yato raised his hand against him like his father once did in the past… and it might be just what I see, 

but 

Yukine looked awfully guilty even though he didn’t know why, after returning to Fujisaki and stating that he had done “it” 

[WARNING! HAS INCEST THEMES! MAJOR SPOILERS]

“A long time ago, people thought that if you were born as twins, you were spouses in the last life”

“And that’s why they were perfect for each other”

“If so, the couple would definitely have been cursed”

“Why is that?”

“Isn’t it so? Since they were born as twins. No matter how sincere the love was, there’d be no way for them to be together”

The Flowers of Evil, you can already smell the psychological aspect of this story. Created by a Korean manhwa artist, LEE Hyeon-sook, it is an extremely underrated story and author. 

The story itself is well played out once you’ve finished reading it. It tells of twin siblings who seem to have love more than just the average one. Although incest seems like something one would avoid reading about, this story goes to show that love isn’t such an easy word that should be thrown around, as it can mean something different for everyone. This pair of siblings, Se-Joon and Se-Wa, seem to be a magnificent example of that. The brother’s love that destroyed others, while Se-Wa’s put herself in danger to bring upon burden. A love so forbidden and queer, that left them both dead. 

Love is a very difficult concept. Is it just an illusion? How dangerous is it? Where are the boundaries towards it? Well. Society definitely put “incest” as a taboo of moral standards, and this strong judgmental rule has put this pair of siblings in a hole of selfishness and despair in which they are falling in for eternity as long as they are alive. I would even stretch it as to saying that these twins were surviving in what seemed like hell in their eyes. Constantly conforming their acts that are seen as sinful in others eyes… they were bound to die to be relieved of this stress. 

Se-wa’s disturbingly obsessive love towards Se-Joon is constantly displayed through her controversial actions, yet throughout the story, her strong persona doesn’t seem to waver. She was the weird one between the two, and everyone acknowledged that, as if saying that at least the boy was normal so their relationship couldn’t possibly take off. And because of that thought, Se-Joon was forcefully wary of others’ eyes. Putting on a mask so he can hide the inner deep possessiveness that was shockingly stronger than his shameless sister. Although that mask was what made both of them survive for a short while, that ‘short while’ undoubtedly moves on, as outside interference in their small, illicit world that they shared was constantly being challenged. 

A single sinful act brings upon another string of sinful acts. It’s almost as if you’ve already fallen into the pits of selfish desires, so let’s see how far down we can go. The selfish aspect of love is definitely overridden as Se-Joon’s true colors were scarier than the devil. Se-Joon’s mask slowly shatters, his hatred towards his sister is converted into love. It was disgusting. He hated Se-Wa so much that he wanted to kill her, yet why did his heart ache whenever he saw her with another boy? 

A weird relationship indeed. Se-Joon finding himself being ignored by his sister after the first accident that resulted from their love was the biggest fault of his life. Everything was as small as a grain of rice compared to his despair. His ominous obsession began to reach its height. The huge breakthrough of this story, in what seemed like a poor brother that was constantly being tortured by his sister’s love, presents to us the opposite. 

Once you fall into a pit of darkness, you lose sight of all morals and selfishly think of only your goals. Who would volunteer to take a step in this pit? I would be concerned if you raised your hand because that was exactly what Se-Joon had done. Having sex with Se-Wa, and attempting murder towards their friend that found out with no hesitation. To him, love was something that wasn’t good, yet he craved it because it brought happiness. He knew that he was disgusting, confessing himself to God of his sins, he was still disgusting. But he wasn’t afraid to overshadow that aspect with his finally free love towards his sister. 

Yet, it wasn’t that the love was too powerful or significant, love is something that has the every aspect of a cotton candy. So it shouldn’t be powerful at all. Rather, it was what the people around them thought that led to their foolish deaths. Se-Wa, like an angel, fell towards the river from their attempted escape of this cruel, cruel reality and met her end with a long beeeepp— in the hospital. And Se-Joon, the cause of her death, didn’t have anything to live for anymore. Death was the only option left. He committed suicide.

But was this forbidden love something to sacrifice your own ego and morality? To become a monster in the eyes of others? To the twins point of view, that would have been a yes. Rather than living in torture for the rest of their lives, a sweet five-days of war in each other’s sacred arms with their destined deaths was better. Se-Joon’s and Se-Wa’s love for one another is something that should never exist in this world, as it will only lead to destruction to those around them, and ultimately, themselves.

Warning! Major Spoilers! Read with Caution!

“I always believed that everyone in this world was far nicer and smarter than me. That no matter how unlikeable they seemed to be, they still had a good conscience…that’s why I hated myself for being timid and depressed when I didn’t even have any good reason for doing so. But now I see that there actually are people who’re despicable in every way…Now that I think about it—-why don’t most people try to kill other people?.. Maybe my expectations were too high. I’m only disappointed because I expected something from them. But the answer was quite simple all along. There’s no such thing as a decent human being in this world. Not a single one”

Yes. We are going to talk about the big elephant of the manga room. Goodnight Punpun aka Oyasumi Punpun aka Hell-Manga. The gradual descent in indulging in humanity’s desires whether good or bad just ends up being a horrific result. Goodnight Punpun just puts all the sucky aspects of acquiring the said desires of perhaps love, riches, dreams, etc. into the life of our protagonist, Punpun.

One of the biggest themes of this manga is the fact that nothing, absolutely nothing in humanity matters. His father’s letters that were pointlessly coming and saying the same thing over and over again after Punpun’s parents divorced was actually written every single day by his trash of a mother. When this fact was revealed to me TBH I was actually so sad and touched by how his mother actually loved him. Yet on Punpun’s side it was all bullcrap. He just couldn’t bring himself to love anyone after growing up in such a dysfunctional environment. Even his ‘love’ for Aiko that apparently began when he was an elementary student was just an illusion, as he kept this wild image of Aiko after his detrimental guilt in breaking their promise (promise was -> to runaway from everything… some pretty deep elementary kids) got the best of him. That promise he broke started his hell of a life, Punpun created a mental prison for himself that prevented him from loving and seeing the best of other people. He selfishly lived for himself only to “prevent other’s (like Aiko) from getting hurt” when it was actually the other way around. He was looking at others only from his perspective (which wasn’t good), effecting his mindset and the people surrounding him negatively. Punpun was very guilty of acting this way… but he wasn’t doing anything to change it. It also seemed like he was living to reach only Aiko, who in his mind symbolized his ‘dream’, which most likely rooted from his other promise that he shared (promise was: to find a new planet and colonize over there with her… such an innocent dream). In fact, Punpun’s young innocent mind tried to stop this pessimistic view on reality with that ‘Afro-God’, however we all know that he legit stabbed god by the end of this story also implying how religion and faith is all just dumb ideology that we sucky humans thought of to answer the question of ‘Why tough events occur in one’s life” (Note* everything I’m stating rn is based what I got from this fictional manga…)

Yet everything that Young Punpun saw sadly seemed to be revealed as the truth also adding on to his loss of innocence and the sudden realization that he wasn’t in the wrong for pointlessly being depressed, every aspect of this world truly sucked. His good-for-nothing uncle was actually a dirty scumbag, his father was/is still a poor ‘nothing’, he only sees girls as a tool to satisfy his sexual impulses and yet that seems to be true once again as Aiko, the girl he sought out so much, who he hated for trapping him in ‘hope’ yet held grand expectations for because of his attempt in escaping this reality just turned out to be a regular, broken, boring, abused-girl that also wanted to escape from everything. They were both broken, so how could they have stayed in a stable relationship? Both were lonely and sick of reality and only satisfied such stress by each other’s presence only in body. But that could only go for so long…If everything just amounts to this what is there to live for? Punpun tries to commit suicide near the last chapter, but he still couldn’t get want he wanted in the end as he was saved. Shows again, no matter what we do, we can’t truly get want we want in the end (Ex. like how an artist dreamed of becoming an animator, succeeded in such dream after painful obstacles, and now he/she lives in a dirty, cramped apartment living off of one meal a day just to draw something you don’t even want to over and over again). But, we live on…although it’s good to not have high expectations with many things because it would most likely not be as amazing as you’d thought it to be. Reality is just like that.

In a manga that just seems like it follows a single person’s journey in suffering the consequences of maturing, I love how Inio Asano also added incredibly side characters. Especially Punpun’s “childhood friend’s” that also go through many struggles, representing how different people are growing up in this rotten world like Punpun is. My most favorite character of this series happens to be the most unrelated, probably showed up for only 10 pages out of the whole series, the most insignificant character out everything in this story: Shintarou HARUMI!!! (Above) .

Isn’t it shocking? The most normal character in this story was my favorite because after all the suffering that Punpun went through, after my mind became sad from peeking into the true reality of our world, our Harumi showed up. It was like he symbolized that small hope we all never expected to see in this story. That hope that we all can live the exact opposite of Punpun, that even though we go through hardships and live alongside the many horrors of humanity, we can still live… normally. That fact must’ve also hit Punpun like a brick after conversing to Harumi about their innocent childhood journeys/dreams of the past because Punpun had absolutely forgot about the smallest, most useless joys he used to share with his friends. Punpun waved towards his now adult childhood friend that he doesn’t know a single thing about (hell, even Harumi didn’t remember what Punpun’s name was) in tears. So everyone, just try your best at everything, don’t give up or be all pessimistic. I know it’s cheesy, I sound like a typical annoying person, but it’s really necessary to keep a good mindset to live in this world. You can be depressed and sad… but don’t be like oh everyone else is like me, what’s the point in living I’m gonna murder <plz don’t do that> Be thankful that you got to live to see another day, appreciate the little things such as the blue sky, running squirrels… or else you’re going to turn into Punpun.

No one. No one wants to turn into Punpun (´⊙ω⊙`)

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION

If you’ve kept up with my past posts, I’m obsessed with this manhwa- author LEE Hyeon Sook :) Another excellent story about a bunch of pretty boys in rich-private school with a TON of drama (the way I like it) and that cliche “I’m a girl but I have to go to an all-boy’s school undercover” BUT (don’t click away lol) as the story rolls along there is a gradual state of disorder and chaos from all the drama that happens to violate moral law. LEE took a “shoujo” idea, and twisted it into something much darker. 

Rather than romance (although there is undoubtedly a romance between two brothers (Raymond/Euan Kensington) and the main girl, that goes undercover as a guy (Gabriel aka Jeremy) it leans more towards psychology. 

Let’s talk about the Chain of Being (most present in Shakespeare). “The Great Chain of Being is a hierarchical structure of all matter and life, thought by medieval Christianity to have been decreed by God. The chain begins with God and descends through angels, humans, animals, and plants, to minerals” (as defined by our trusty Wiki). Now from the beginning of this story, the Chain of Being is already broken. Our protagonist is a poor, orphaned girl who was to be sent to become a maid for the rest of her life. However, her friend Jeremy, who was to have the same fate (but as a laborer) actually turned out to be related to a nobleman. Things were looking up for him, while Gabriel was falling more and more into a pit of hopelessness because of her fate. Yet God seemed to have noticed her behavior, as her life took a turn when Jeremy ate a berry that was actually poisonous.

Which brings us to Gabriel enrolling in a super rich-boy school as Jeremy in a deal with his “mother” (whose not really Jeremy’s mother) to trick her husband into thinking that Jeremy was still alive until she tells Gabriel to stop. So it was a pretty “one-minute of glory” kind of opportunity, but Gabriel can now finally escape her fate in becoming a poor maid. She cheated the whole system of the Chain of Being. Yet cheating such a system leads to serious consequences for the future (You’ll see). 

With that, the juicy events of misunderstandings and relationships begin. Gabriel wasn’t actually involved in any until she became involved with Raymond and Euan. Although this story delved more into Raymond and Euan’s backstory, it just ultimately sums up to how Euan (older brother) wasn’t living the life he wanted, making Raymond carry all the burden of dealing with marriage and the troubles his older brother gets in to until he can’t run away from it no more. Raymond had his own share of problems that Euan was trying to keep as a secret and it turns out that Raymond killed his own mother. Their mother was broken from their father that ignored her and hung out with other girls, so Raymond being stressed with his mother’s behavior just saved her from the suffering after a gunshot. They’ve been through a lot… but Gabriel comes back with the several consequences of keeping up her facade.

A rich-boy friend of Gabriel, Arron, was actually dating a maid that turned out to be Gabriel’s friend back at the orphanage. With her friend that knew the true identity of Gabriel, she had to come clean. But it seemed her friend had bigger plans, blackmailing the ‘mother’ of Jeremy for money to escape with her true lover. But that plan didn’t succeed as the couple both committed suicide by eating those darn berries once again, breaking Gabriel’s heart and being in a state of danger now that the “mother” got the impression that Gabriel has revealed her real identity to everyone. Arron was absolutely in disarray, almost trying to kill Gabriel because he thought she was the reason his maid-girlfriend died, and she just seems to accept at this point. Why was she even living as Jeremy? It did very much seem that she was going to die at any point being someone that she wasn’t… however her friend, in shock at this acceptance, didn’t kill her. 

But. A hit-man is now after Gabriel, so not very much came out of that mercy. On top of that, she seems to be gathering all the rich boys and making them fall in love with her but the time has come to run away. These empty love triangles, in my opinion were left in that state on purpose to show that some things just over power love- like survival?! Come on she’s about to be assassinated! This theme can also be seen by Will, a side-character that had a whole deal going on as well, but he was born sick. Knowing when he would die, he carelessly threw himself on a maid, showing that love is just pointless at times.The danger of being in love in Gabriel’s situation also just seems to block that route as well. Jeremy’s “father” gave Gabriel a ticket to study abroad, and using that, she takes the opportunity to escape after almost getting shot down by the hit-man of the “mother”. Raymond saved her, found out that she was a girl, and was going to accompany her to the train so that she may escape death. But, guess what? Jeremy’s “father” found out that his son was actually Gabriel, and sent a hit-man to kill her as well. Euan couldn’t accept the fact that Raymond was going to be near death by accompanying Gabriel, so he tricked him and went to accompany her instead. Euan also had feelings for her since the beginning of the series… but he also knew Raymond liked her as well. 

Sigh…After all that. After Gabriel successfully escaped, Euan died. In fact, Jeremy’s “father” was responsible for his death that was so sudden. Then the author just ends with Raymond and Gabriel reuniting in the far future. 

Many absolutely despised this ending. Was it too rushed? Seemed very thoughtless? But I argue that they just haven’t really thought about it. Being undercover as a poor girl that made her way to the top of an all-boy’s school that seems like an area only reserved for gods can only go so smoothly. Rich boys are still human, and rather wouldn’t they be more unhappy with their lives? Being controlled by their parents, they can’t marry freely, escape from work that comes with money (like inheriting a business?), they can’t get involved with maids or “normal” people for reputation, and they have to be reserved to keep secret of all the scandals and crimes that goes behind the curtains of wealthiness. Getting involved with these rich people can get you into some spicy troubles because wealthy people have the power to control the Chain of Being in which they sit at the very top. Now… Why did Euan die such a pointless death? Well… he was already unhappy with his life from the start. He wasn’t a good brother, he wanted to escape from his parent’s control which could easily be seen by his careless involvement in gay affairs at such a prestigious school (he also had someone that he was to marry), and he fell in love with Gabriel even though Raymond liked her as well. The ending was all for his rest. He accompanied Gabriel instead of Raymond to finally be a big brother and protect his brother as well as Gabriel. Gabriel appeared in front of him as an actual girl before they went to go escape. Euan was just satisfied with that. Love with Gabriel was absolutely impossible with him, so all that he could do was to protect her ‘til the end right? Euan already derailed from the train of his life probably when he first met Gabriel on the ground as he was shot by his ex-lover (he survived due to Gabriel and most likely fell in love with her then because she was a being that was totally unrelated to everything he hated about his life and her innocent kindness showed). Raymond, who was protected from becoming like his older brother most likely because of being too occupied with his own problems (like his identity crisis of killing his own mother, that blinded him of everything that was going on in their rich society) So Euan’s death made sense, he was just a lonely failure that sat on the King’s throne, later to be killed for his actually normal behavior. Really goes to show how being rich, being in high society, doesn’t ensure eternal happiness. 

Originally posted by lover-of-art-things

Yes. I finally watched Banana Fish. (Read the manga about halfway)

If I’m being honest, I avoided this anime for quite a while because I stereotyped it and already knew how it was going to vaguely end (to which I reacted with a “duh” because gang stories never end up well if you can’t escape it). Still, the story was nothing but phenomenal when I finally experienced the whole thing. It made me realize that this was storytelling and people should be paying attention to these stories rather than dumb isekai series with long ass titles. 

The ending for Banana Fish left me curled up in a ball in the depression pit (yes, some tears were spilled) for about a week, which I slowly crawled out of because I came to terms with how this anime portrayed reality. The bitterness of it, the sorrow of it–for reality is what we all try to escape from and yet no man has been able to, even people as great as Eiji. I indulge myself in many stories to escape from reality myself, but ultimately it’s a cage no one can truly break out of.

Ash Lynx is too deep into the world of gangsters, so far from the innocent world that Eiji, his Japanese friend, lives in. There is no way they can peacefully be together, which explains why Eiji was sent back to Japan against his will. Ash loves Eiji, so his first priority is to always get him back to safety- to get him out of his dangerous world- which he’s successfully accomplished. But, of course, neither parties were happy with the split. As the story progressed from start to finish, Ash’s breaking point was well to be predicted although he’s never explicitly shown his distress, and that was partially because of Eiji. Ash could get through everything he had on his demanding agenda because Eiji relieved the excruciating side effects of Ash’s sacrificing, dehumanizing, and stripping off of his own self-worth. Eiji gave worth to Ash without wanting anything back when he needed it the most. It was the greatest gift Ash could’ve ever asked of God, a friend who authentically loved him.

The ending could’ve been perfect if I stopped watching the last episode at the halfway mark (obviously, I can’t do that hehe), but as Eiji goes back to Japan thinking that Ash is still alive, Ash actually gets stabbed by Sing’s half-brother. I initially thought that this was unnecessary, and I raged. I flipped tables, chairs, and cars. How can such a fantastic character— a celebrity of the hood, respected and charismatic– have such a pathetic death? He got a ticket to Japan and was ready to run to the airport, but he suddenly got stabbed by a side character that I had literally forgotten about.

Ash crawled himself back to the New York Public Library and died with Eiji’s letter in his hands, strangely as if he wasn’t dying but simply resting. He seemed as if he wasn’t in any agony or pain, nor in a sense of remorse. But seriously… Why didn’t he go to the hospital instead? He had a chance to survive if he had told a person to call an ambulance, to get on a taxi to the hospital quickly, to even prevent on his own from bleeding out to death because he had survived far worse than a stabbing before… but enough of the ‘what ifs.’ With Eiji going to Japan, he didn’t have anything to help him hang onto his grueling life on a more extensive picture of his reality anymore. Tragedy will follow Ash forever. This is the world he chose to live in.

It did break my heart, but the last panel of Ash smiling while dying was the most peaceful smile we’ve ever seen him express. He died knowing that he was in the memories of a friend who truly loved him for who he was. That he had gotten to meet such a person, to have someone who would always think of him brightly even though they may never meet again. Perhaps that was all he was asking of his world when he first set foot in it… and now that he had obtained this very small blessing in his hellish world, he could rest with peace of mind for once.

So what I’m trying to say is that this was ultimately the best way Ash could’ve died. Not in the past by some gang enemy that’d haunt him every night, not in the future where he has every chance of being killed with torture, regret, and sorrow with every step he takes.

Perhaps in an alternate universe, Ash and Eiji would’ve led a normal and happy life with one another until they were old and wrinkly. It was a tragedy for this pair, who weren’t meant to be separated in any world.  Soulmates that reality had utterly torn apart.

[WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS!]

Another creepy series by the famous Shuuzou Oshimi doesn’t disappoint! Reading The Blood on the Tracks brings chills to my spine, and even makes me question my relationship with my mothe–just kidding ;p 

But in all seriousness, the question of “What does it mean to truly grow up?” seems to come into light with this story. Truly growing up means to lose your innocence, see beyond the simple actions of everyday, and acknowledge that your parents are actual human beings—essentially, becoming aware of societal morals and ideals. Although what we experience isn’t as twisted (hopefully) as our protagonist, Sei-chan, growing up happens to everyone so that we realize that the world isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. 

Sei-chan’s “growing up” sprung onto him the moment his mother, Seiko, pushed off his annoying cousin, Shigeru, off a freaking cliff. A normal witness would’ve confessed immediately at such a sight, but her own son didn’t seem to want to break off this motherly image of Seiko. “How could my mother, who asks me if I want a meat bun or a red-bean bun every morning kill someone? She’s just my mother that cooks for me everyday and shows her protective side towards me because that’s what mothers do!”

The surface of this manga seems to be as if the mother brain-washed Sei-chan into thinking that she didn’t push Shigeru off, but it truly was the aspect of not wanting to let go of the artificial past they’ve shared. The typical happy family image was stained onto Sei-chan’s mind, but there was more to it than those fluffy flashbacks. This murder situation made Sei-chan realize that his mother is almost like a stranger and rummaging through his memories even more, it becomes very baffling. But, he wants to try his best to understand his mother first and become the only one that will ever understand her to produce a sense of pride and love only for them. However, this childish mindset of Sei-chan—not wanting to grow up and part from his dear mother—shatters from outside influences and the small shards of his memories he recalls as a baby inevitably reveals things he didn’t want to know. 

Sei-chan gets made fun of (why the heck is your mother so protective?), he gets exposed to sexual desires like Fukishi who he shares mutual feeling with but utterly rejects because of his ‘supposed’ mother’s control once again (although it is clear that he rejected on his own account), and he defends his own mother from her crime abnormally stuttering. The stutter phase that Sei-chan went through was very significant. Why was he stuttering? The answer is because his once innocent world was shattering. He had to speak lies and him trying to fix the stuttering represents the difficulty in mending together the world he once loved to live in, yet when he did overcome his stuttering, it was more of an acceptance in the loss of leaving childhood. Although it seems like the mother wanted to escape from this reality, she also didn’t want to let go of the time she spent with Sei-chan, evidenced by her over-excited expression when he explained the fact that he remembered the cat they met on the street and that bonding time that consisted of ripping up Fukishi’s love letter together or that time she was looking for Sei-chan in tears after he ran away. Perhaps she was hoping that her and Sei-chan can escape the world together. 

It seemed as if Sei-chan wasn’t himself. Rather, as the series went on it seemed like he thought of himself as another part of his mother. Sei-chan was constantly trying to be approved by his mother—because being approved by your mother shows a form of affection that asserts their kind authority over you. An authority is needed to feel assurance and shelter as a child. But as the series goes on, her approval deteriorates, and Sei-chan begins to be aware of his mother’s true colors causing him to slowly lose his purity and take control of his own life.

Now the dead cat that is constantly referred to was something Sei-chan didn’t understand at all. Why did it die? But as he grew up, this memory seems to become more and more scarier the more he understands it. The cat symbolizes himself, abandoned but still being caressed after “death.” That memory represents the truth that his own mother never saw Sei-chan as her beloved son, yet she was constantly pampering him. Now why is that? Why was his mother something that he never, ever understood? This realization about the fact that he was voluntarily, although unknowingly becoming his mother’s precious “son” even though she never thought of him as one made him grow up. He was finally independent, even taking a step forward with Fukishi, and making his own decisions from finally breaking free the chains he actually locked himself up with. 

It was a sad realization of growing up. To know that your mother, a girl who didn’t want to live such a stereotypical life failed in her mission and utilized her own son as another failed outlet towards a free, fantastical life. She tried so hard to adapt, but she couldn’t. 

My opinions on the ending…

Originally posted by snk-universe

Long time no see! I finally watched the last two episodes of AOT and let me purge the unshakable “whyyy!” I feel about AOT’s ending.

So, the credits begin to roll and I think, it’s not so bad. It makes sense. It’s simple. I strangely understood it all. Then, I think, the dialogue sucked. Especially eren and armin’s conversation, reiner’s last remark, and mikasa’s last quote. Then, I’m in a crisis, was all of this just for that? For eren to die to make his friends heroes (which is totally out of character by then), for armin to say he’ll go to hell with him and thank eren for genocide but then surviving just fine and suddenly doing peace talks, and mikasa still hung up on eren ‘til the end? There was no development in armin nor mikasa’s character as foils and eren’s character (even other characters, like reiner) was straight up butchered in the last few chapters/minutes of the manga/anime.

Couldn’t the characters have been more complex? Have more development? It would’ve been nice to see that they were struggling with ptsd, finishing up their ties with the whole ordeal, or possessing some conflicting feelings about how the situation panned out and is currently after three years. This story was realistic in the way the situations were, but the execution and the characters were highly unrealistic and half-assed. I don’t really see anyone talking about levi and zeke’s ending, but in comparison to their prominent narratives and contributions their ending was so dull (like many others). My additional problem with zeke was that armin motivated him to help their friends win this fight and he did so easily… then just died. It’s like isayama knew the only way to end this was to nerf some of eren’s power, but he sacrificed zeke’s character in the process. Also… eren pretty much died for nothing by the end. There is still war.

I’m also very surprised that the war plans in this story were more complex than the actual ending. And let me get this out of the way, “only Ymir knows” is turning into a meme and I believe it isn’t one of the main problems of this story. It makes sense because everything was up to mikasa in whether or not she was going to kill eren. Ymir saw that she did, breaking the chain of obedience, but also saw the kiss, and learned that there is love even in that choice.

I get isayama added so much to this story that every little thing was hard to keep track of by the end, but plot holes— or rather, things that just need more explanation— are so immense (like that worm thing).

I even argue that some aspects of this story were unnecessary (or could’ve been less complicated) if he was planning on ending the series like this all along (maybe gabi and falco’s whole dealio?).

But, my biggest problem is this. What in the world was isayama trying to convey with this whole story?

Love…war…hate…no, nope, there is nothing. He’s conveying nothing, at least nothing compelling and not confusing.

It’s hard to make out the overarching theme because there is no major force of evil or good that prevailed or lost, or no sense of logical closure from any character, and everything just seems like a stale portrayal of a “meh” reality (kinda? the “reality” isn’t so consistent throughout). If that was the goal from the beginning, discussing the complexity of human morality in reality, then I’d take it. But nothing was solved in that way, things were brushed over, and there wasn’t a huge (sensible) shift in the perspectives of the audience (and I don’t think eren’s sudden turn to friendship was a sensible shift). Isayama randomly made eren the mastermind, a “savior” for his friends after killing 80% of humanity, but really… friendship? After all that characterization from good to evil to then he was good all along and prioritized his friends the most? We know that’s not true. I see it’s hard to make out a different outcome without reconstructing a bulk of the story but it’s such a cop out.

The ending is what makes a story. There is no story if there is no ending. I think AOT will be remembered for having a controversial ending rather than it’s eminent qualities, which is both sad but also just on isayama. This isn’t any hate towards him, but he can’t just produce a story that readers raised him into fame and return the favor with a dry ending that divides the people—the fandom.

*these are only my opinions and if there is any misinformation feel free to educate me on ur perspective :)

*SPOILERS AHEAD

Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami was very…. Interesting. Well, for me at least, ‘cause I love classic books, and on a fever for the Bildungsroman genre (think catcher in the rye, Jane eyre, Demian), I started Norwegian Wood thinking I’d get a good story about the life of a university student but was instead, left feeling a bit perturbed. Reading the summary itself, it’s just the book I was looking for as a 19 year old university student, and I’m working on a story where the main protagonist is a male 20 year old university student so the perspective was perfect to study. But, by the end of this novel, I had these three thoughts.

- this book is clearly written by a man.

- I should’ve read Kafka on the shore first.

- I’m concerned with people that find this book relatable and phenomenal.

Now let me elaborate, because these are strong opinions. I’m going to try my best to speak objectively, but this review is coming from a female 20 year old university student. There is nothing wrong with books written by men, I typically don’t care for the author’s gender AT ALL, but this particular book was a pretty hard read for me.

Toru Watanabe presents himself as this niche character that loves “unique” literature, speaks uniquely (apparently), and judging from what other character’s say about him, is pretty personable. But those traits, just as many that are said about him, like when Nagasawa said Toru was not interested in anything but himself (and that’s why they’re so similar), doesn’t hold true (Toru actually cares a lot about the people around him). Murakami does a lot of tell and not show, and I don’t know if it was purposeful, but a lot of the bare characterization were just not accurate so the Storm trooper, funnily enough, was the best character for me. I found that Toru is actually the most ordinary, dry, and inconsistent protagonist ever. He just goes with whatever. For example, the characters can say the most absurd, most unrealistic statement, and he’d be like, “sounds like it,” “wow,” or “I see, tell me more,” and it’s just frustrating to sit in such a dead perspective. This kind of persona worked for Nick Caraway in Great Gatsby because he was infatuated by Gatsby, a very very interesting character. But for Toru, by the end, he didn’t even have an apparent character development besides “growing up” (whatever that is, Murakami didn’t describe it). Nagasawa, his friend was objectively horrible and if you don’t think so, I think you’re terrible too. He sleeps around with 70 girls while dating a girl, and his words are severely entitled. The fact that Toru seems to respect this guy in some ways irks me. Now, the most difficult thing for me were the girl characters. All of them (Naoko, Midori, and Reiko), should’ve existed to show different ways the protagonist either grew or was effected, but since the protagonist is so dry and stagnant, they just showed up to be kind of… weird. Naoko was decent, but her relationship with Toru was really odd, to the point of being unrealistic. She was broken because of Kizuki’s suicide, and naturally a friend like Toru would respect that if they truly loved her, but he kept using Kizuki as some kind of connection with Naoko to get with her and have sex. I know it’s deeper than that, since Naoko is unable to love (but she still seems to string everyone along). Yet Naoko remained confused pretty much the whole book and just died at the end. I get that that can be the reality, but this is a written story, making such an outcome a one dimensional one. Instead of talking about sex, why couldn’t they elaborate more on why she struggled to love? As for Midori, I was so sick of her showing up just to talk about periods and sex and rape jokes. And I mean, every time. When she wears a short skirt it’s mentioned at least 10 times. She showed her naked body to her dead father as if that added anything to her character? I just had to skip the scenes with her in it and the story didn’t lose anything. And Reiko? She’s okay, but again, a sane person would see her as mentally disturbed even though she claims she’s “healed”. She got sexually harassed by a kid and claims that she doesn’t have to return to her family, and sleeps with Toru at the end. Tell me, why do all characters get sexually involved with Toru? Is that what all women exist for? The objectification goes crazy. Toru hangs around every girl ‘cause they like him for some reason, but he’s really got nothing going for him. For god’s sake, Reiko was some old woman that seemed to have some kind of mature-ness and then she sleeps with a 20 year old boy to mourn Naoko? Mourning in this book equates to sex. All I can say by the end is that these people (and I mean all, even Midori) need to seek mental help or Jesus, not sex, masturbation, or anything like that, ‘cause it’s just sad to think about life that way.

All these characters are just terrible. It’s totally fine to write books with terrible characters, we need those books to exist (I know several people hate catcher in the rye because the main character is insufferable but I personally loved the commentary on the superficiality of society). But I do not know if Murakami wrote these characters with the intention of making them unlikable, because it just seems to me that he wrote it as if this is the reality. Bildungsroman books are supposed to portray the realities of growing up, Norwegian Wood is supposedly relatable, but, if this book is relatable I am again, super perturbed. If the intent was to write about mentally troubled people, then I get it (again, I love books like perks of being a wallflower and catcher in the rye, protagonists that both have mental struggles), but again, Murakami seemed to write this as if these out-of-pocket thoughts/scenarios were normal. Is it normal? Am I just not getting it because I’m a girl? I’m not sure what Murakami’s intent was in writing this book at all, because if it is about grief, it’s sending the wrong message. I didn’t go into this book expecting all the characters to just talk about sex, periods, blowjobs, and getting wet every three pages, had I known, I wouldn’t have picked it up.

The prose is decent, and I’m sure it’s more beautiful in it’s original language. There were dreamy moments and thoughtful quotes. The parallels of Toru’s present situations and his past and the way he handled him differently this time was nice to see. However, these moments to me are overshadowed by the flaws I just mentioned above. I swear, I started getting scared whenever a new girl appeared because I was worried she was going to sleep with him. Murakami kept referencing books, such as The Magic Mountain and Light in August, but why? I know Toru is a literary nerd, but mentioning these books in a single sentence with no connection to anything is useless. Great Gatsby was largely influencing the novel and I can see it. Toru was like Nick Caraway, but a cheap Walmart version. In fact, the whole cast was like a cheap Walmart version of all the Gatsby characters. Toru isn’t as introspective as I expected him to be, and this book is mostly dialogue and communicating with other characters which is fine. But just when you think that the character’s are full of depth, we get hit with sex, reducing them back to being shallow. I did not care at all what happened to these characters, and no offense, Naoko’s death didn’t even surprise me.

I should’ve read Kafka on the Shore first because I just do not want to read anything by Murakami anymore and I heard people like that book much better. But in my opinion, Murakami is overrated and I’m probably not going to touch another book by him unless someone convinces me real good. I guess, I was expecting too much? “Murakami is a literary master”, “this book is so poetic”, “It’s an artful love story” and all I can say is how? If we think about the characters in that they were broken, frozen in time, suffering with melancholia, then, sure, it’s beautiful, but the people who say this book is good is ignoring the written execution. It’s not a definite love story. The poeticism is ruined by vile, useless dialogue. Are we reading the same thing? I’m not asking this to be a hater, I’m just genuinely curious.

I see arguments defending this book, that this honest depiction of the male perspective is necessary and Murakami isn’t even bad compared to other male authors, but I find that problematic. How is this a respected work? Why are we normalizing this kind of perspective in literature? This depiction of women in books? Holden Caulfield, Charlie, and Jane Eyre are so deeply and intricately characterized enough for readers to understand their values, struggles, and views on the world even if they are a little strange. They’re relatable in one if not all those ways. If characters were unfavorable, in that they were possibly insufferable, ignorant, entitled, or misogynistic, there would be thorough development to explain so (characters like Patrick Bateman), but Toru, he just vibes through everything with sex as if that’s all he knows. Was it right for him to sleep with Naoko that night? No. The answer is no and this shouldn’t even be a question Toru should ask or readers to discuss. Don’t say that I’m being blind to the narrative value of this scenario because objectively, it’s wrong to sleep with someone who is at a vulnerable broken unstable state even if they consented.

Anyways, all of the above was my experience with this book. I’m currently reading Demian and East of Eden, and hopefully I’ll be back with a review of those as well :)

Originally posted by euphonyanimescreens

Long time no see! I’ve been occupied with living, and boy, it’s been annoying. Anyways, I watched Akiba Maid Wars during my long summer break and decided to write a review because it was one of the only series I actually finished since this year began [which says something abt this anime b/c I never finish anything].

First things first, this anime was hella funny because the concept was one of its kind: maid cafes x gang/mafia. The great dichotomy between those two concepts in itself is hard not to make iconic, and engaging the audience is quite simple when the “surprise” factor IS the plot. But…

…do you see how that can be problematic already?–detrimental and damaging to this whole anime?

I’m going to try to not get too rant-y because credit does need to be given to where it deserves, and this anime was very entertaining.

Pros: The characters had distinct, comical personalities. Although it was a bit stereotypical [a hopeful MC, stern friend, cute/cold friend, cute/violent friend], it wasn’t a huge splinter to the story. I’ll just say everyone had a funny dynamic with one another and the obstacles they went through because their characters were all different. The villain was a bit boring, but again, not a huge problem. For the plot, it wasn’t anything mind-blowing or new, but it was decent mostly because it was so funny. It’s so damn hilarious to think that cute maid girls are actually gangsters. I laughed a lot at each episode because of how ridiculous it was, and many scenarios were quite memorable. It made me think the writers probably had a good laugh themselves when writing a maid festival where cute maid groups had to fight each other/climb a huge maid statue to win and get more prestige and sales.

Now I’m not going to lie; there were many eyebrow-raising moments because things just didn’t make sense/came off as unnatural.

That goes right into my cons: the plot execution was so messy. Not “just” messy, SO messy. It really affects the viewing experience about halfway through the season, even to the point that I just wanted to drop it. I can see that at the beginning of the series, there was a clear vision the creators had: to shock viewers when cute maid girls suddenly kill each other [obviously, like gangs]. I think they were also going for a meme/gag aesthetic. The first episode accomplished it well, but they already utilized the “surprise factor”, so how were they going to top it off in the next 11 episodes? The scenarios began to get severely repetitive, predictable, and the weight of death wasn’t there at all, with no consequences or realistic emotional damage. This is a huge problem; it strips away the human quality of the characters/setting that is based on IRL concept of maid cafes in Japan. If they were going for a totally unrealistic/absurd vibe, I’ll take it, but the anime seemed confused, because they tried to add real sentimentality of gang stories.

SO at about episode 6 or 7, it was a struggle. They had nothing more to work with in later episodes as the same situations kept happening with loosely mended solutions. Sure, there was a plot to address, but in between that seemed like filler episodes of either kidnappings, sabotage, gun fights, and meaningless deaths. And I’ll just say it now, there is such a thing as TOO MUCH killing sprees and character deaths, especially when it’s either used as a brainless resolution or a pointless attempt at “shocking” the viewers. It just didn’t make it enjoyable anymore, and I know the execution could’ve been better had they carefully constructed HOW they were going to present important plot points and HOW they were going to solve it. Were they going for a coherent story? Or just a gag (think Gintama) vibe? The humorous situations were what kept this anime going, but then you’d think about the foundational plot and wonder how serious (or unserious) it was, and just end up getting frustrated with the way things pan out.

As for the ending, it was nonsensically abrupt and did not make much sense; I think I constantly questioned, “Why am I still watching this?” at that point. But, you know, I commend the writers for giving it a happy ending than the miserable/sadder ones I see in mainstream media. They got the main message across pretty good: Maid’s are defined by their duty to bring happiness. It isn’t about power, money, or glory. I suppose you can apply this idea to numerous roles in our societies.
Overall, a 6/10 watch.

It was a decent, turn-off brain series to watch, so if that’s what you’re looking for alongside good laughs, I recommend it. If you hate messy, nonsensical stories to the point that it exhausts you (i was indeed a bit exhausted) don’t watch it.

Originally posted by animehouse-moe

I’m hoping to get my hands on a white 3ds XL and a PS Vita to add to this collection !!!

If there is any way to get these fair-priced please do tell 🫶🏻