Tor’s Masked Singer Review (Season 4, Week 1)

September 24, 2020

It was the first episode of Season 4 and you couldn’t mask for better talent. I haven’t blogged in awhile. It’s good to see I’ve still got it. This blog will only discuss my thoughts on the performances and my guesses on who they might be. I will not comment on the judges. Wait. I won’t comment on the judges unless I don’t have enough to say about the performance and need filler. And, Nick Cannon, well…it bothers me that he says he know who everyone is. His diamond shoes might bother me more than that though. Yes, diamond shoes and then, know-it-all-ness.

Sun - “Cuz I Love You” - The costume is fire. (Nailed it.) With the yellow eyes, I’m getting “Most Fabulous Jawa” energy. The face looks upside down. Now that I’ve pointed it out, it can bother you too! The singing was very good. The verses were not as strong as the choruses. That’s nitpicky though. It may have been the country twang that came out in the rapping. In the verses, it sounded like Miley Cyrus which would fit the Disney thing and being a huge star when young. However, it did not sound like Miley on the chorus. Oh and Miley Cyrus is not doing the Masked Singer. That’s a Jenny McCarthy guess. (I didn’t make it very far.) I’m going to guess Leann Rimes. She has.a lot of gold records. She had a Disney Channel concert special. She has an album called “Sittin’ on Top of the World” which sounds like the goddamn sun. She has a song called “Can’t Fight the Moon Light” which the sun stops doing around dusk every day. The Frozen clue could be about her many Christmas Albums and the predominant color in the movie Frozen is blue, her first big hit. And her falsetto when she sang “you” in the chorus sounded an awful lot like her falsetto on the chorus of “Blue.”

And there’s this YouTube video of her singing “Cuz I Love You” on her tour bus last year and it sounds exactly the same.

Giraffe - “Let’s Get It Started” - The costume was a real stretch (So good.) He was dressed like a Zootopian Founding Father. I did not love the performance. Cassidy thought it sounded like someone from Hamilton. I was with her on potentially Anthony Ramos. The problem with that is the Giraffe was just behind the beat. The Hamilton cast would never be off. I truly have no idea about this one. I read online some people are guessing Fred Durst because of “$3” for the carnival ride and Limp Bizkit’s album was “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all.” Apparently, he feuded with Slipknot which would cover the “knots” clue. But it doesn’t fit the need for anonymity. I’m sure Fred Durst doesn’t have to do a lot of hiding. I’m going to go with Jake Paul. He got famous on Vine and you can “swing” from a vine. He’s supposedly funny so that’s the “Jokes” thing. I really have no idea so I’ll guess some Youtuber I know nothing about.

Popcorn - “What About Us” - The costume seemed thrown together. Like someone said, “Bucket. I don’t care what I look like.” (Losing steam.) She was a good singer. Pink is very hard to pull off and she did as well as one could ask. It sounded like a mature voice. They have at least one older diva every season. We’ve had Gladys Knight, Patti LaBelle, Dionne Warwick, and Chaka Khan. Most of the guesses online are Tina Turner but I don’t think it’s her. Part of me wants to guess Taraji P. Henson because they guessed her so much last year that it would be great for it to finally be right. But I’m going to go with Cyndi Lauper. She toured with “Meat Loaf.” She sings and endorses loving people for who they are. She has a thick accent that no voice changer could remove. Cyndi Lauper!

SPOILERS (IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED, STOP READING)

Dragon - “Mama Said Knock You Out” - The costume was fire. (Did I use that already?) It is a travesty that he went home before Giraffe. Giraffe was terrible. He is a pile of garbage that has no right to be on that stage. Busta Rhymes deserved to stay. My wife guessed this right away. I said DMX when he started rapping but then she said Busta Rhymes and it was undeniable. Did I mention Giraffe sucked? He should be tossed in a dumpster. Because he’s garbage. He will not win me over.

Snow Owls - “Say Something” - These costumes were distracting. I didn’t know HOO to look at. (I’m back, baby! Am I writing for Nick Cannon, yet?) I’m just winging it at this point. The singing was beautiful to be honest. This song is done on every season of every singing competition show and, frankly, it should. The first thing that popped into my head was Derek Hough while the boy owl was singing. That would make girl owl Julianne Hough. They’ve been working solo for awhile so it fits the “family reunion” and when she said “Oh brother” in the clue package. And here they are singing this exact song: