[SUMMARY: Lucille dies in Negans arms.] Felt...

[SUMMARY: Lucille dies in Negans arms.]

Felt like writing a quick depressing one shot lol

Fluff

Negan and Lucille.

Negan stared at his dying wife as she lay in the hospital bed. It had been a week now since they moved Lucille to the hospice area, he hated it. He knew what was coming. The doctors had warned him that she did not have much time left. He could see her struggling to breathe even with an oxygen mask, it broke his heart. He watched as the nurse finished up giving her more medication for pain relief, she could barely move.

Lucille stared at the ceiling as Negan stood by her side before she turned her head and locked eyes with him.
“Hey, beautiful.” Negan whispered with a smile on his lips and glistening eyes leaning over her. She lifted her hand up to her face and struggled to take her mask off so she could speak.
“Easy, sweetheart. You need that.”
Lucille shook her head with a frown before grabbing onto Negans shirt. He hated seeing her so weak, it destroyed him. He knew what she wanted, being held by her husband was something that always relaxed her. He climbed into bed beside her and slowly placed his arm under her to pull her in close. Lucille moaned in pain but grabbed onto Negan as he looked down at her. A weak smile formed on her lips once she got comfortable. His touch was like no other.
“I know how much you love being held.” He whispered with a smirk before sadness took over his eyes. Memories began to flood his mind of the nights he’d come home late and would find her on the sofa asleep by herself. He’d carry her up into bed and the 2 of them would spend the night cuddling against each other.

“Do..-” Lucille began to speak as Negan caressed her face, he wanted to make it easier for her but didn’t know how.
“Do you…remember when..we spoke about….having kids..?” You whispered breathlessly making him smile. He pressed his lips together struggling to hold in tears.
“You…you wanted a boy..so bad.”
Negan chuckled remembering those conversations before he noticed your face change.
“I wanted to..be a mom so…bad. I’m sorry…I couldn’t-”
Negan frowned shaking his head as he pulled her closer.
“Stop, you don’t owe me any apologies. You don’t have to say shit.” Negan hid his face leaning his head gently over hers. It took so much for him not to cry in front of her but, he couldn’t hold it in.
“Are you crying..?” Lucille whispered with a frown, it was rare to ever see or hear Negan in tears.
“No.” He lied but, she could hear it in his voice. He knew she could hear it. For once Negan wanted to be tough for her, tough in a way she always was for him.
“Don’t cry, baby..”
Negan squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of her soft voice. The guilt of the pain he had caused her during their marriage burned in his chest. He hated himself for ever having cheated on her, maybe if he had been home more often he would’ve noticed her acting differently. If he wasn’t so caught up in drinking, he would’ve noticed just how much more she had been sleeping. How dizzy she’d get from staying on her feet for too long, he could’ve caught something instead of coming home and finding her unconscious on the floor when it was all too late. He frowned as he began to remember that night in bed when he confessed to her that he wasn’t cheating on her any longer. He remembered those words that till this day made him feel like shit.
“Now you want me. Now when I’m sick and dying.” He squeezed his eyes shut trying to let go of that. Lucille forgave Negan for his mistakes, but he never forgave himself.
“It’s…it’s not your fault.” She whispered knowing exactly what was going through his head. Negan smiled as he wiped a tear away, she always seemed to know what was going through his mind.
She always knew what to say. Negan didn’t want any other woman, he wanted his Lucille.
“Oh, sweetheart. What am I gonna do without you?” She smiled up at him and gently pulled his face down closer to her.
“Kiss me. Please..”
Negan leaned in and gently pressed his lips against hers feeling her twirl her fingers around his shirt as she grabbed onto him. A tear unexpectedly rolling down his cheek as he softly pulled away and kissed her forehead. He felt her grasp on his shirt loosen as she lay against him before she suddenly gasped loudly.
“What is it?” Negan panicked as he felt her body begin to tremble in his arms. The pain so severe she couldn’t help but tremble.
“What is it baby? Where does it hurt?”
He didn’t know what to do, he felt helpless watching her shake in his arms.
“Someone get a god damn doctor in here!” He yelled towards the door as nurse rushed in.
“What the fuck did you give her? She’s in pain, she needs help- give her something!” Negan yelled holding Lucille close to him.
“Sir, we can’t give her any more.” The nurse spoke softly seeing the panic in her husbands eyes.
“What the fuck do you mean-”
“We’ve given her all the medication we could. Sir…we warned you about-”
Negan suddenly looked up giving the nurse a threatening look. They did warn him, they warned him that at a certain point medication wouldn’t be enough.
“You stop fucking talking. You can’t make my wife comfortable? Then get out of here.” Negan spoke coldly making the nurse quickly leave the room. He looked back down at Lucille who was staring up at him with her big green eyes, her body just starting to calm down. Just by the look on her face he could already hear what she would’ve said if she could speak.
“Calm down, Negan. You’re scaring people, you’re gonna give yourself high blood pressure.”
The look in his eyes immediately softened as he took a hold of her hand that was struggling to grab onto his shirt. Negan seemed to scare everyone away, everyone but her.
“I’m sorry, baby. You know how I get, especially when it comes to you.”
Lucille smiled weakly and very slowly nodded her head. He could tell she could no longer speak and it terrified him. He wasn’t ready to not hear her sweet voice again. He never felt a pain so strong in his chest, he couldn’t let her go.
“I love you so fucking much, Lucille. I’m sorry you got stuck with me.”
He always believed she deserved better but, she could never see herself with any other man.
She shook her head with her eyes closed and placed 2 fingers on her lips before very slowly reaching up and touching his.
“Come over here.” He leaned in again and kissed her softer than he ever had before gently pulling away. She stayed with her eyes closed and suddenly winced letting out a soft whimper making his lips pout as he fought the urge to cry. He knew she was in pain, the sight of a single tear falling from her closed eyes made him break down silently. If he could switch places with her just to not see in her pain, he would.
“It’s ok, Lucille.” She felt him lay down closer to her, his lips against her forehead, she found it harder to open her eyes but she could hear him.
“Give me your pain, baby. Let me take your pain.” Lucille could hear Negan beginning to cry against her. He never wanted to let her hear it, but he couldn’t stop himself any longer. He took a deep breath and began to hum against her, her favorite song.
Their wedding song.
He hummed low before he realized her breathing began to get slower and slower until eventually…her heart just stopped.
“Lucille?” Negan whispered low…but he knew. He fucking knew it.
“Lucille?” His voice cracked as he looked down and saw her looking so peaceful. He tilted his head as he caressed her face before he began to cry. He buried his face against her neck crying loudly as he held her tightly.
“You weren’t suppose to leave me god dammit…I was suppose to fix everything. I was gonna be better for you.”
Negan cried and cried not wanting to leave Lucille’s side. All he wanted was to feel her in his arms for a little while longer until he’d go home…to nothing.